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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811533">The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperoxgrayland/pseuds/emperoxgrayland'>emperoxgrayland</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Became Emperor, Arranged Marriage, Confused Ben Solo, Domestic Fluff, Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Rey (Star Wars), Leia Organa Inherited The Throne, Luke Is A Gray Jedi, Marriage of Convenience, Oh No He's Hot, Prince Ben Solo, Size Kink, Skywalkers As Rulers Of the Galaxy, Slow Burn, Thirsty Rey, Unrequited Love, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:27:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>45,185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperoxgrayland/pseuds/emperoxgrayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey knew the terms of her marriage all too well. She would give Ben Solo the right to the throne her grandfather sat on before his family overthrew him and she would be protected from his influence. She was but a girl of fifteen, and so Ben Solo, ten years her senior agreed to a pact with her to consummate their marriage ten years after, and only then to secure the line of succession for the throne. After that they can live their separate lives. </p><p>Except she never expected to fall in love with her beautiful, funny and charming husband. A husband who has become her closest friend, her most trusted confidante, and the only family she's ever known. A husband who's first love returns to the Core Worlds after a mission to the Outer Rims. A husband who plans to reunite with said first love after he fulfills his end of the bargain.</p><p>(Or when Empress Kira Ren can't hide the fact that she's thirst for her husband, Emperor Kylo Ren)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Phasma/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron &amp; Finn, Rey &amp; Ben Solo, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1355</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Baby Let The Games Begin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>"The Hutts have finally stopped their poorly disguised attempt at a coup, I hear."</p><p>"Finally. We managed to secure the trade routes from the Outer Rim. Your idea to suppress the inflow channel was astounding."</p><p>"I live to serve the empire, and it's Emperor Kylo Ren. Long may he reign."</p><p>There was a teasing lilt to her voice, something that made him smile into his morning caf. Eight years ago, his wife would not even have had the desire to sit across from him at breakfast. </p><p>And now here she was, her hair up in it's three usual buns, face bare of the makeup she wore as Empress, feet clad in his slippers and resting on his thigh. </p><p>She had become his closest and dearest friend, his most trusted advisor, and with no amount of chagrin, his only family. </p><p>"Rey?"</p><p>"Yes, Ben?"</p><p>It the smile was still on her lips as she raised her eyes to meet his. When did that happen? When did his empress become a beautiful woman? She was still so young. Eight years together and she was still only 27. Not even his age when they wed. </p><p>He fidgets in his seat... unsure of how to ask. Again. </p><p>The smile dims in her face, and she lifts her feet from his lap, picking up their salt shaker and putting some on her plate. </p><p>"Is this about Captain Gwendolyn Phasma returning to the Core Worlds?"</p><p>Of course. She knew. His wife may not like gossip, but she was as good as any other courtier in the court. Her spies, possibly the biggest most secluded... that's what you get when your wife is a former Jedi trainee, who shared a link with your mind. </p><p>"It's not. Well, not exactly?"</p><p>She rose rapidly from her seat, and signalled to her maid. </p><p>"I have a meeting with your mother, whatever this is, can this wait for later?"</p><p>"I... yes? But, Rey?"</p><p>She stops her charge to the dressing area, eyes shuttered when she looked to him. He was almost tempted to open the bond, just a little bit more, and peek into her mind, see what she was thinking. His wife had always been a closed book to him. A fortress guarded by so many tricks and traps. </p><p>But they promised each other, to not use the bond like that. </p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>His name on her lips felt a little colder. And he wonders why it bothered him. </p><p>"We have to talk, okay?"</p><p>Her eyes cloud, then shutter. She nods and turns away. </p><p>He notices that she hasn't kissed his cheek. The first in almost seven years. </p><p>She always kisses his cheek before she leaves for the mornings.</p><p>"Rey!"</p><p>He stumbles as he rises up to chase after her.</p><p>She stops again, this time tension in her muscles. He didn't know why she was irritated at him, but her annoyance was transmitting clearly to the bond. </p><p>"Ben, I said we'll talk late-"</p><p>He kisses her cheek from behind her. And she stills, and rapidly turns to him, a flash of... something reaching him before she tamped down on their bond. </p><p>Her hand was raised to her cheek, where his lips touched her skin, and he grins at her. </p><p>"You forgot my morning kiss."</p><p>Her eyes widen, soften, before she lifts on her feet, her thumb caressing his cheek as she plants her lips on his other cheek, lingering against his skin much longer than she usually does. </p><p>"I'll see you later, Ben."</p><p>Her eyes lock with his and she smiles toothily before turning away. </p><p>Ben stands there, frozen, emperor of the known galaxy, felled by his wife's kiss on his cheek and his inability to ask her whether she would please, please finally, fulfill the pact they had agreed on eight years ago and sleep with him. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong>The 35th Year of the Reign of Empress Darth Licht</strong>
</p><p>Leia Organa had tried it everyway she can.</p><p>She was a senator. </p><p>She tried a galactic republic. </p><p>And she knew in many ways her father was right. </p><p>Democracy was hard, when each galaxy and system were at different points in progress and civilization. </p><p>It was easy for the better off planets like Canto Bight to explore lesser systems like Kashykk. </p><p>Easy for them to cash in on war by building weapons. </p><p>The Empire, the Rebellion, both just pawns in their capitalistic hands. </p><p>And still for all talk of democracy, people still starved. </p><p>People were still enslaved. </p><p>And she saw no point. </p><p>So she did what she must. </p><p>And she embraced her destiny as the Daughter of Vader. </p><p>Luke had been resigned, he saw how democracy failed the best of them, how democracy failed him. And he knew, for balance and peace, they cannot go back to the way it was before the Empire. They cannot possibly return to a system that made the Empire possible in the first place. </p><p>How was it their mother put it - democracy dies with thunderous applause. </p><p>So they created a new Empire. </p><p>He abolished the Jedi Order, with prompting from the Force-Ghost of Master Yoda himself. The Force is not just for the Jedi. And he agreed. But he was sentimental and so he kept the name - but the new Jedi Order did not discriminate between Light and Dark, but they sought balance. He trained his students to be aware of the advantages and pitfalls of both, open to how Anakin was victim to both, and how to straddle the fine line in between. To be both Dark and Light and never let one or the other corrupt you.</p><p>The Grey Jedi, he was often called. Especially because he refused to take a Sith name, and stuck to Master Luke Skywalker of the Jedi Order. </p><p>The Parliament with representatives from each State to replace the Senate, except their power is decentralized. </p><p>The Emperor wields that power - to judge whether things should be implemented or not. An Emperor that is made sure to be unable to cause further harm to the galaxy, as war is now essentially to shoot yourself in your own foot. </p><p>All states are made interdependent. Trade routes are implemented, tariffs are standardized. Outer Rim worlds integrated by putting them under the protection of the Emperor. </p><p>It wasn't easy, but it was peaceful. And for the first time since Leia Organa, daughter of the Lord Vader rose to power as Darth Licht, Emperor of the Galaxy and it's known realms, peace has become the norm. </p><p>Until this moment. </p><p>She was a short waif of a girl, with hazel green eyes that stared a hole into the floor. </p><p>Her brother, in his Jedi Master robes, his hair silvery from all these years smiled wanly at her. </p><p>"It is a pleasure to see you, your Imperial Highness."</p><p>She rolls her eyes and gets off the dais to embrace her twin. </p><p>"I have missed you. You never visit."</p><p>"Well, we have been expanding the schools. I didn't want to pull children so far from their homes."</p><p>"Yes. The Western Reaches. Jakku, I heard."</p><p>"So you've sensed it."</p><p>"I sense you galaxies away, brother. This is her, I presume. Palpatine's heir."</p><p>"Just Rey, your imperial highness. Just Rey."</p><p>There was an impertinence in the way she spoke, and no sign of fear in her eyes. Leia liked her already. </p><p>"Just Rey. And where are you from, Just Rey?"</p><p>Rey swallows and steps forward towards her. </p><p>"Jakku, your imperial highness."</p><p>"And tell me what were you doing in Jakku?"</p><p>"My parents sold me to Unkar Plutt when I was six. I stayed in Jakku as a scavenger until I was fifteen."</p><p>"Until Snoke found you."</p><p>"He has been in my head all my life."</p><p>A shadow crossed over her features. The same shadow that plagued her own son. She feels it, the softening pity for this slip of a girl. </p><p>But she shakes it off and stands taller.</p><p>"I was his apprentice for four years. But Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. I am no longer his ward."</p><p>Leia turned to the girl fully, in her black cowl that fit too large for her, she was almost dwarfed. But Luke had said not to underestimate her. She killed Snoke on her own. </p><p>"Yes. You killed him. For what?"</p><p>Rey's mouth twisted in a sneer. "I was raised to go against you. The First Order. My grandfather wanted me to take and claim the Sith. He killed my parents to do so. He sent his apprentice to end me. All that is over and behind me."</p><p>Ah. That's why. </p><p>"I have no wish to give him what he so desires. My father died protecting me from him, and that is what I seek. Asylum. Protection. In exchange for my surrender of the First Order to you."</p><p>Leia regards her carefully before turning back to Luke. </p><p>"She came to you?"</p><p>"She wishes to join the Order. I don't see why not, with Ben not being able to take over for me we would need someone like her-"</p><p>"But she is a Palpatine. You expect me to let a Palpatine roam free?"</p><p>"Leia-"</p><p>"It is not just the First Order. There are many more loyal to the old Emperor and his family. Most of them are planning a coup in my parliament as we speak."</p><p>"I know nothing about this I swear-"</p><p>"Yes. I agree. Their claim is under the fact that Vader was not Emperor. That when Palpatine fell his son should have taken the throne."</p><p>"My father had no wish-"</p><p>"Yes. He didn't. He wanted a safe life, with his family. None of this darkness to cloud over him and his wife. I tried to keep them safe, for as long as I can. But Snoke still found him. Nevertheless, the claim is true. We have no right to the throne. You do. And as long as there are people who are against us, and wants for things to turn to the way they were, you are a danger to the Empire."</p><p>"But I will never-"</p><p>"Unless."</p><p>Luke sighs and Rey straightens her back. "Unless what?"</p><p>"You take the throne. Well. A version of it."</p><p>The realization washes through her. Because the rightful heir to the throne was not Leia's son. She was. </p><p>But if she were to marry said son- no one would dare question him. </p><p>Or her. </p><p>The union of the Skywalkers and Palpatines at last.</p><p>"Well, technically, I'm a Solo. An Organa-Solo. Not a Skywalker."</p><p>She hadn't noticed she said the last part out loud. </p><p>But that was just as well because she lost the ability to notice anything when she caught sight of him. </p><p>He's heard of him, of course. </p><p>Ben Solo. How her master- she stopped herself, she served no more masters. How Snoke wanted him. He sent whispers into his mind of course. Attracting him to his legacy, to be the next Vader. But Ben Solo did not grow up fearing the darkness in him. His uncle taught him how to embrace it, to tame it, to balance it. </p><p>Snoke was like a fly on the wall that Ben Solo crushed. She had to admit she had always been curious about him since then. </p><p>But mere curiosity does not explain the sudden fire that consumed her at his presence. </p><p>He was handsome, that she knew from the many serving girls in Cantinas who lusted after him. But no one told her he was beautiful. </p><p>It was his height that catches you first, towering over most other people. Then his build - broad shoulders, broad chest, trim waist. He moved with the grace of a Jedi, and she supposes, because he was trained to do so. </p><p>He was heavy and big but lumbering he was not. </p><p>Rarely did anyone manage to sneak up on her but he did. </p><p>And then there was his face. On photographs of him, of the mysterious Kylo Ren, he was pleasing enough, an intriguing beautiful face with piercing eyes. But here and now in the flesh, with those eyes... honey warm and focused laser-like on hers, she felt all her blood rush to her head. His nose was long, and a bit too large but that didn't matter when his lips, those lips, God what they could do to her, what she would allow it to do to her, curved up into a smile, showing crooked teeth and dimples on his cheeks. All of this framed by glorious thick hair, waving around his face, cascading to his shoulder.</p><p>She almost shivered where she stood. </p><p>Kylo Ren was every bit the Prince that he was.</p><p>"Err. Prince Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo, of Alderaan."</p><p>Ben chuckled and patted the golden protocol droid standing in the hall of the room on the shoulder. </p><p>"It's alright 3PO."</p><p>"It's good to have you back, Master Ben. R2 and I have missed you."</p><p>And this was the moment Rey knew she was fucked. Because when the softness and affection came into Ben Solo's eyes her heart tumbled in her chest, head long into him. </p><p>His brows raise and his eyes meet hers from across the hall, apprehension, then a wary smile sent her way with a question of are you okay?</p><p>And she wasn't. She wasn't. Because she's 100% sure, she just fell in love with the Prince of Alderaan. And she was fucked. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. No One Has To Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>Captain Gwen Phasma had always been a fascination for him. </p><p>She was his oldest friend, they grew up together on the very walls of the palace she serves. </p><p>In many ways, he often thought he'd be her husband. She was trained to be Empress after all. </p><p>She was his first kiss, his first love. </p><p>And now she was finally home. And the galaxy at peace. </p><p>"Captain Gwendolyn Phasma of the Galactic Fleet."</p><p>3PO announced from the entry way to the throne room and he can see Rey stiffen a little in her throne. They held court once a month, most of their daily schedule set on reforms and laws and tariffs. He rules equally with his Empress, who was overseeing the Core Worlds while he deals with the Mid and Outer Rims. </p><p>"Are you alright, Re- Kira?"</p><p>She smiles wanly at the almost slip up, and she nods her head, smiling serenely to face the woman clad in armor. </p><p>She was almost as tall as Ben, her armor held proudly on her broad shoulders. </p><p>She has shorn her hair. Every bit the warrior she was lauded to be. Every bit the strong Empress that Ben should have by his side. </p><p>She saw it, the way his eyes lit up, the way he smiled so softly at the sight of her. </p><p>And her heart shatters anew. </p><p>She catches Armitage's eyes from where he sat, as General of the Galactic Fleet. She shakes her head slightly before rising with her husband to welcome their new hero, the one who finally got the Hutts to stop their siege. The captain returned after ten years in the outer rim. </p><p>"Welcome, Captain Phasma."</p><p>"Empress Ren."</p><p>There was something haughty in the way she addressed her, and she could not fault the Captain her displeasure. She was the usurper. She took her place.</p><p>"We thank you for your service to the empire, and the emperor."</p><p>"Long may he reign."</p><p>There was a sneer to the reply and Kylo laughed, stepping down from his throne to hold Phasma's hands in his own. A move that broke Rey's heart even further. </p><p>"It is very good to have you back, Gwen. Really. Truly." </p><p>He wrapped her in a hug, his dark hair with the platinum glint of his crown a stark contrast against the blonde of Captain Phasma's. And she blanches, feeling her stomach lock in knots. Not once, in her marriage did her husband hug her like that. </p><p>---</p><p>"Would you like me to rearrange your schedule? I could perchance meet the Andors on my own."</p><p>The Andor's were visiting from the Mid-Rim, as well as some issues from the Core Worlds that need seeing to. As a rule he and his empress meet visitors together. She acts as the tame, good will to balance the harshness of his rule. It was something that took most of their opponents by surprise, they often underestimate the tiny miniscule empress. They don't know how much he trusts her counsel, and how often he acted on her plans more than his own. </p><p>"Is there a reason why you don't want me to be there, sweetheart?"</p><p>She picks up the salt shaker again and dumps salt on her potatoes. He frowns. He knows she likes more flavor in her food, having grown up on the deserts of Jakku. But she salted her potatoes five times already since they sat at dinner. That can't be healthy for her. </p><p>"I just thought you'd want to spend more time with Captain Phasma. She has been gone for very long."</p><p>"Phas and I have agreed to meet on the weekend. I would have to miss our weekly trip to Corellia, however."</p><p>Corellia was the birthplace of his father, where he kept his tiny house, amongst the people. It's where his mother chose to retire now that she was no longer Empress. Just her and his father, tending to their little cottage.</p><p>It had been a good place to hide for her and him, just a chance to be Rey and Ben and not the Emperor and the Empress. He had many good memories with her in that cottage. </p><p>"That's alright. I want you to have your time with Phasma. But... please do excuse me Ben, I think I ate something at tea that doesn't really quite agree with me. I think I shall turn in early for tonight."</p><p>His brows furrow as she rises from her place on the table, noticing that she barely ate anything. Immediately he goes to her side of table, and holds her hands. She was pale, a bit peaky, and she has been losing weight. He places a hand on her forehead and she stiffens, and he quickly withdraws his hand. </p><p>"Sorry, I wanted to see if you have a temperature. You haven't been eating well these past few days. I think you should see a medi-droid."</p><p>"There's no need. I'm sure I just ate something, I will be fine for tomorrow."</p><p>"If you're sure?"</p><p>She smiles at him and grants him his evening kiss. Immediately his world settles. "I am. I'll be fine tomorrow. Goodnight, Ben."</p><p>She steps out from their shared offices and living area into her quarters. And he stops a droid from taking her plate. Rey has been leaving a lot of left overs lately, a thing she doesn't do after her childhood in Jakku where food was so scarce. In a move that scandalized the storm trooper watching over him he picks up a potato from her plate and puts it in his mouth. And immediately spits it out. </p><p>Salty like the sea. No wonder her stomach has been giving her issues. </p><p>He must tell her tomorrow to limit her salt intake. </p><p>He was her friend, after all. Her family. They take care of each other. </p><p>---</p><p>Rey was welcomed with a hug when Leia met her on the landing pod in their house in Corellia. The Millenium Falcon sat beautifully on it, allowing her only a narrow strip for landing. </p><p>She then proceeded to look around for her son, only to find him missing. </p><p>"Captain Phasma has returned from her missions in the Outer Rim. She and the Emperor are now spending time together."</p><p>"I see."</p><p>And one look in her eyes, Rey can see that she does. </p><p>She wonders if unrequited love was like a veil she wore all the time, visible to all but her darling husband. </p><p>Han walks out to the bay, an easy smile on his weathered face, that falls when she saw how she was alone in the landing, firmly wrapped up in his wife's embrace. </p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>"In the capital. Nevermind him, we shall still have a lovely time, just us."</p><p>"The Damerons will be here as well, and Chewie and Maz. And I have the finest vat of Corellian whiskey that I have yet to open."</p><p>She grins, even as she feels the tears pool in her eyes. </p><p>"But you were saving that for Life Day."</p><p>Han's eyes darken as he joins his wife in holding her, leading them both into the tiny cottage. "Well, I'm opening it now."</p><p>She rests her head on his shoulder as they walk to the homestead. </p><p>"Ben will not be pleased. He has been after that bottle for years."</p><p>Han snorts and presses a kiss to her head. </p><p>"Well, if he had been here, he would have had a taste. As it is."</p><p>He shrugs, in a way that was so very Ben that it made her heart ache. She wonders how could they know and Ben does not when he sees her everyday. When it is he who must see how much she cares for him. </p><p>But perhaps her love was much like her, a mere shadow behind such a great sun, seen only in the rarest of times. </p><p>---</p><p>His heart was giddy. </p><p>An afternoon spent with Gwen, just talking and laughing about their youth. Their adventures together while they trained with Uncle Luke. </p><p>The day of his wedding, their first and only kiss. </p><p>And when she left, she took a piece of his heart with him. </p><p>And now she was here, and back, and the galaxy finally at peace, the First Order at last reorganized to fit the Empire. </p><p>No one would dare usurp him and Rey, and he at last is free to explore his heart, and no longer set aside his love. </p><p>Gwen can be his consort, while Rey remains Empress of the realm. He would never take it from her, never ask her to step down. She was family.</p><p>He wishes this could have happened before. That he could have taken Gwen as consort upon his marriage, but he knows there was too much distrust then. The supporters of Emperor Palpatine would not like his granddaughter being cuckolded so soon after her marriage. But now all is well, and they know Rey is to be respected and revered. He was her equal, and a ruler in her own right.</p><p>Once they have secured the line of succession, everything would be alright. A daughter of Palpatine and a son of Vader will take the throne, finally putting the galaxy at rest. </p><p>He was giddy to share this development with Rey, eager to hear about her day, and her meeting with Talla the Hutt. He knows how much she hates her, and her gossipmongering and her wish to steal some of Rey's garments when welcomed into her sitting room, but he walks in to the shared dining area in their rooms and sees only one plate set for him, her side of the table bare. </p><p>"Where's Re- Empress Kira?"</p><p>The serving droid pulled his chair for him and set his napkin across his lap. Had the table always been this large? When Rey was here, he felt they were cramped for space, often thinking of getting a bigger table than this one they refashioned from the furniture in her old sitting area. But he had grown attached to it, and so did she... had it always been this big? And this quiet?</p><p>"Her Imperial Highness has set off for Corellia early, your Imperial Highness. She had finished her scheduled meetings for today early and opted to fly to Corellia herself."</p><p>"But she didn't say goodbye."</p><p>Come to think of it, he had never been apart from his wife since they married, discounting that one trip about four years ago to Jakku, when she personally managed a small insurgence in the scavenger folk. Even then he had called her. Only once a day, in the evenings, because he didn't want to be the kind of husband to bother her when she had official duties, to ask her about her day. </p><p>He was not used to not having her there to recount their days, and share a meal, and perhaps play a game of Dejarik - she had gotten deadly in the last few years, with his tutellage and Chewie's cheating techniques. </p><p>She didn't even tell him goodbye. </p><p>He pulled out his holo and saw he had a missed transmission from her, she must have left when he was with Gwen. </p><p>"Ben."</p><p>He smiled at her holo-form. Her hair was in it's usual three buns, her face bare and she was wearing her grey wraps, the one she favors when they visit Corellia to blend in better with the crowd. </p><p>"My schedule ended a lot earlier today than expected. I'm flying to Corellia earlier, I can get there by nightfall. I'm sorry I can't say goodbye. I'll see you in three standard days."</p><p>He frowns. He understands why she could not wait for him, but he could have at least sent her off to the launch bay, made sure she brought a Trooper with her because he knows, just knows that his wife flew on her own. </p><p>He walks to their joint prep room and notes that her light saber was not in its usual position next to his. </p><p>Her hair comb, one he had gifted to her years ago was also missing. </p><p>And... her footsteps, he realized. Footsteps he knew more than anyone in the world. It was her footsteps that he knew before he even knew her face. In those early days, she changed so much in her Imperial regalia that sometimes he forgot what she looked like but he can never mistake her footsteps. </p><p>Has it always been this quiet in their rooms?</p><p>There was such discontent in him... such restlessness. Surely... he was allowed 1 holo-call? Just to see if she arrived in Corellia safely?</p><p>He dials her, and waits for her to connect, and her holo rings, and rings and rings and he was beginning to worry when her face appeared.</p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>She was flushed, eyes glassy, a goofy smile on her face.</p><p>"Rey? Are you alright? Are you in Corellia?"</p><p>"Yesh. Yes. Kriff, I cannot feel my mouth."</p><p>She giggles and his brow raises at her cavalier use of a swear word. His wife, prim and proper Jedi that she was, never swore.</p><p>"Sweetheart, are you drunk?"</p><p>"Me? Pshaw, naaaw! I only had a glash of your father's whishkey. Whishhhhhh-key. Why can't I shay it, Ben? I can't feel my mouth."</p><p>She was slurring, her hand repeatedly tapping at her mouth. And his eyes narrow. His wife never drank either. </p><p>"Who's with you? Where is everyone?"</p><p>"In my room. Your mother tucked me in. You woke me."</p><p>He smiles as she rubs at her eyes and settles back down to her bed, her holo placed to side so he only has a view of her face now, with her eyes drifting off. </p><p>"Go to sleep sweetheart."</p><p>"Okay. Good night, Ben."</p><p>He waits until her breathing evens out, but then he can't bring himself to disconnect the holo. He skips his dinner, not hungry anyway, not used to being on that table without her and goes to his quarters and places his holo beside him, just watching her sleep. </p><p>It's the first time in 8 years that his wife is not here to kiss him goodnight. </p><p>And something about that makes him very uneasy. </p><p>---</p><p>"And then the trooper said Captain it's to get to the other side!"</p><p>Gwen laughs at her joke and turns to him, only to see him frowning intently at his holo. </p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>She asks and his head snaps up. He should be paying more attention. He hasn't seen Gwen in a decade. </p><p>"It's Re- Empress Kira. She's supposed to be back to Coruscant today. But. She hasn't sent me a holo yet."</p><p>Gwen's expression shutters and she turns away from him to look at the expanse of the city. This has been their old haunt. On top of a hill, over the old Jedi Academy. </p><p>"You think of your wife while you are with me."</p><p>"Gwen. Her safety is of my concern. She's Empress of the Galaxy. And she flew a TIE alone."</p><p>"I didn't know you and your wife were very close."</p><p>He sighs at the apprehension in her tone. And still he kept his eyes on his holo. </p><p>"She is my wife, and more than that she is my family. Things have changed. We have become friends."</p><p>"I haven't. I haven't changed." Gwen said with certainty in her tone. </p><p>"I think I have. It's hard not to be Emperor and not change. But I'm still me, Gwen."</p><p>She sighs, and folds herself to tuck herself against Ben's chest. </p><p>"I just worry that we don't have much in common now. For us to connect."</p><p>"Don't worry, my wife and I didn't have much in common when we got married. And now we know each other well." </p><p>He realizes he shouldn't have said that, that it was a bad example to establish that they will be familiar with each other again when his holo finally rings. </p><p>"Rey? Mom?"</p><p>There was terror in Leia's eyes </p><p>"Ben, oh Ben, I'm sorry, so sorry..."</p><p>"Mom what's the matter?"</p><p>He was already on his feet, his heart dropping down to his stomach. </p><p>"Ben, you need to be calm. Rey got into a slight accident, she's at the medi-unit here in Corellia-"</p><p>But he already cut off transmission and was running full force back to the palace. </p><p>He was sweating and shaking by the time he reaches there, and Armitage meets him at the bridge. </p><p>"Are you insane! Your guard told me you <em>ran</em> all the way here-"</p><p>"Rey. Armie it's Rey."</p><p>Armitage stops and takes his arms. "What is it, what's happened?"</p><p>But Ben's eyes blurs and he can't get air in. "BEN! Get a hold of yourself."</p><p>"Accident. Corellia. Go now. Please."</p><p>He was still panting but Armitage was dragging him, inside, and into the hangar. </p><p>It took thirty minutes to get the ship ready, Armitage at the helm as he took them to hyperspace the minute they hit atmo. </p><p>All the time he hasn't stopped chanting her name.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Pact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The 35th Year of the Galactic Reign of Empress Darth Licht </strong>
</p><p>She can feel him watching her as she took her position with the piano at the ballroom. </p><p>It was not a fancy event, just something thrown by the Empress to introduce her, the Princess Consort, Rey Palpatine of Naboo. </p><p>She has never even seen Naboo before. </p><p> She uses the Force to guide her hands through the keys, having been a very poor student with her time with Snoke. Her skills with a saber are much more savvy. </p><p>"Can you keep playing if I ask you to do so?"</p><p>His warm, deep voice shudders through her and she nods, heart beating so fast that he's near. Her fiancee, the man she loved. A smile flashes on her lips. "Yes. You don't know how I have cheated at this with the Force so many times I can do it in my sleep."</p><p>He sits beside her, his warmth taking up all the space in her skin, in her heart, in her soul. And he plays the accompaniment to her piece and she sends him a startled look. </p><p>"My mother believed in gender equality when it came to training the future Emperor." She grins and brings the piece to the adaggio and he meets her there. She nods her head in approval. </p><p>"Tell me, Lady Palpatine-"</p><p>She winces. She hates the name. Detests it. Abhors it. The name cost her everything. "Rey, if you please, your highness. Just Rey."</p><p>"Okay. Just Rey." He smiles, and she almost shudders at the way his dimples wink out of his cheeks and she really really wanted to kiss him there. On that dimple. </p><p>"Tell me, are you being forced into the marriage?"</p><p>She had been of two states these past few days, excessive misery at having been forced into a marriage when all she wanted was to be a Jedi Knight, and relinquish her claim on the throne. The second was glee that it was marriage to this man. Her Ben. </p><p>Now, misery wins a little bit more. </p><p>"Do I look like I am forced into this?"</p><p>"I am ten years your senior, and you sought my uncle and the aid of the Jedi, not my mother."</p><p>He was right of course. But that was before. That was before she met him. </p><p>"Are you forced into this marriage, your highness?"</p><p>He grimaces and she knew, for what man who was not would ever ask her this question. Glee was stamped out, all her girlish hopes of falling in love with him, or having him fall in love with her as if she was his twin, his... dyad, in all of this messy business flew out the window. In it's wake is a deep seated misery because of course, he was Ben Solo who was all things good and pure and light. And he was beautiful. Of course he wouldn't love a Palpatine like her. </p><p>"I didn't wish to be Prince. Or Emperor. I wanted to be like my father."</p><p>"A smuggler?"</p><p>The words came out of her mouth and she gasped soon after flushing beet red. "I didn't-"</p><p>"Keep playing!" He laughs at her again, and there, that wicked annoying dimple that was going to be the bane of her entire life winks out. </p><p>"Yes. In a way. More of a pilot. He completed the Kessel Run in 14 parsects."</p><p>"Twelve."</p><p>He looks to her with surprise on his features and she looks away. Of course she looked. She wanted to know everything there was to know about him, including his dad. Images of a young Ben Solo with his hair wild in the wind, his tooth missing as he rode on his father's shoulders pointing to his ship, the Millenium Falcon was an image she held near and dear to her heart. </p><p>Of course, she shouldn't really do that now. </p><p>"Yes. My father would say 12. Have you ever thought to escape it? Just... be a Jedi, as you wanted?"</p><p>"And do what, precisely? What system would trust a Palpatine to wield the Force? To defend them with a saber when my grandfather caused the destruction of many? And your rule will never be safe, as long as I am out there. There are those that will use my name to question you." </p><p>And I cannot leave you be in danger. She thinks to herself. Not for a second. Not for a moment. The thought of anything harming you, is a pain to me. Is this what it means, she wonders, is this what it means to love someone so fully? </p><p>"Then I guess we are both stuck, my lady Rey."</p><p>They continue playing, and he doesn't say anything to her at all for the rest of the night apart from customary pleasantries. </p><p>But she remembers the way her name rang on his lips. </p><p>My Lady Rey.</p><p>She repeats it, again and again in her head until she falls asleep, the image of his smile in her dreams. </p><p>---</p><p>It was a friendly competition amongst the pilots, and he was joining. </p><p>She supposes, if she were him, she would enjoy the last vestiges of her freedom too. </p><p>No one had invited her to join the Regatta, and she didn't know anyone, and didn't know how to dress, so she watches from the balcony of her room in the palace hoping to catch a glimpse of her. </p><p>"Lady Palpatine?"</p><p>She turns to find one of the courtiers come into her rooms. </p><p>"Rey. Please. Just Rey."</p><p>"Oh... I can't... it's against protocol to address the royals by their names."</p><p>She fidgets in her perch and Rey sighs. Of course, she was a royal now. </p><p>"Yes, but it's just us here, and no one needs to know. Tell me, what's your name?"</p><p>"Rose, my lady. Rose Tico, your handmaiden."</p><p>"Lady Rose, it is a pleasure to meet you. You're Commander Tico's sister."</p><p>"Yes! I'm... I'm part of the maintenance crew, and her Imperial Highness thought I'd serve you better."</p><p>"Rose then. Thank you. I am much obliged."</p><p>---</p><p>Rose dressed her in a simple tunic of gray wraps, akin to the one she was wearing and she was thankful for the familiarity. Her double bladed light saber was attached with her hip, a policy stated by the Emperor before she marries, while her safety was not guaranteed. </p><p>Rose placed her hair in one bun instead of three, and let the rest of her hair flow down her back. </p><p>She was then led to a shaded area where the Emperor was sitting, with a man with white hair and weathered face. General Solo, she thinks. Ben's father. And he can see him, in the way the man shrugged when his wife spoke to him, saw Ben in the twinkle of his eyes, the devil may care smile. </p><p>His eyes turn to her when she arrives, appraising her from head to toe. </p><p>"Han, this is Rey, our future daughter in law. Rey, my husband Han, you will forgive him his rudeness."</p><p>Of course he judges her, the Palpatine that was taking his son and his choices away. But he smiles, warmly, and takes her hand in a firm shake. </p><p>"You gotta eat something kid, you're all skin and bones."</p><p>"Han!"</p><p>"You'll tire of the palace soon enough, though, harder for you, since you gotta be crowned."</p><p>"Han!"</p><p>His wife swats at his arm and he takes her hand and presses a kiss to it and her heart flutters. Would she and Ben be like this? Years from now?</p><p>"Welcome to the family kid."</p><p>Just then a whistle blows, and the pilots take their places, getting ready to compete in the race, she searches for him, for his face and sees him, laughing, his face so open, and unguarded, his eyes shining as he stared at a woman who was the same gigantic height as him, her blonde hair cropped close to her chin, in platinum blonde waves. Her blue eyes sparkling in mirth and her laughter honey warm and full. </p><p>Ben looked at her as if she was the sun, and in her golden armor and her hair, she almost looked like it. </p><p>This. </p><p>This was the woman Ben loved. </p><p>This was the reason why he was forced into this marriage. </p><p>Ben turns and sees her sitting with his parents, and the smile falls from his face, and oh, oh, is this what it feels like? To have your heart break? Because break it does indeed. Break in her chest when she sees him, like that. And break because she doesn't belong here, will never belong here. This is her place. This shining blonde goddess' place, and she will never be enough. Ever. </p><p>She lifts her hand in a wave, and Ben pretends to not notice her. </p><p>---</p><p>Leia forces her to come with her to find him. The medallion was slung on his shoulders as he received congratulations from his friends. </p><p>The blonde goddess was there, right beside him and Rey felt like an impostor, trying to usurp her place. </p><p>"Mom."</p><p>"Congratulations, Ben! You did very well."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>His eyes flick to hers and she wanted to shrink, away, and leave him to his life, she's already taking so much and now she's here, making a nuisance on his last days of freedom, and she wants to cry, she really does, but Leia urges her on. </p><p>"Congratulations, your highness."</p><p>Her voice comes out muffled and weak and hoarse from the tears she was trying to keep in bay, and someone snickers, but he comes to her aid, because of course he does, even if he doesn't want her here. </p><p>He stands in front of her and takes her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles briefly. It couldn't have been more than a second but his lips were soft and warm and her skin where his lips brushed felt like it was on fire and her face flames. </p><p>"Thank you, my Lady Rey. May I introduce, Captain Gwendolyn Phasma of the Galactic Fleet. Gwen, this is the Lady Rey. My... uh..." </p><p>She sees the sudden realization in Ben's eyes, and she quickly shuffles forward and offers her tiny hand to Gwen. "It's a pleasure to meet you Captain Phasma."</p><p>"Likewise, my lady." </p><p>Her grip was strong, her hands soft and smooth, and her voice like honey on butter. Her blue eyes pierced through Rey, and she's never felt more unattractive than this moment. </p><p>His mother takes a ribbon from her dress and ties it on Ben's wrist. "A favor to the winner of the annual Kessel Run race. Your father is glad you have not beaten his record."</p><p>She looks at his wrist, the only other favor there was a bright yellow ribbon, the same one tied around Captain Phasma's wrist. </p><p>Ben laughs and turns expectantly at her. </p><p>"And you my lady? Any favors to gift me?"</p><p>Maybe because it was he refused to introduce her as his bethroth. Maybe because it was of the sick way she felt being under Phasma's stare, and the delight that came when she saw that Ben did not look at her that way. Maybe because she was just so annoyed and miserable and wanting to be anywhere but here. Maybe it was because those damned dimples keep winking out at her, that she tipped up on her toes and pressed her lips against his cheek, right where that damned dimple was winking. </p><p>Ben stills, and freezes under her lips, and pulls away rapidly and harshly. </p><p>"I-"</p><p>"I have no ribbons, your highness. I hope that is a good enough favor."</p><p>She bows to him and to Leia before stalking away head held high, as if her every nerve was not seemingly connected to her lips. As if her every nerve was not on fire. </p><p>---</p><p>She finds him, watching the crowds from underneath the palace tree that she had taken to calling her own. </p><p>He looks so beautiful like this, all mysterious and wicked and for a second, and only a second more, she allows herself to imagine him hers. And then she lets it go. </p><p>The plan, her plan, was as fully formed in her mind the minute her lips touched his skin. She would not survive him, that much she knew. No matter how hard she tried to guard her heart, the moment he touches her will be her end and her ruin. </p><p>"I thought about what you said."</p><p>He doesn't look up at her approach, instead he keeps his eyes on the people below them, and she knows instantly that his eyes are on her. Captain Phasma. </p><p>"You are forced into this marriage then?"</p><p>"I am. And so are you."</p><p>He doesn't bother denying it, that he loved another woman. </p><p>"There is nothing we can do, isn't there, sweetheart?"</p><p>The endearment nearly causes her to stumble. The same one gifted by his own father to his mother. </p><p>"No. Not about the marriage. But there is something..."</p><p>He finally turns to her, and she wants to take out her lightsaber and scorch the Earth and curse her grandfather and she was so angry at the Force for making her do this. For making her love a man who would be the last person to ever fall in love with her. Because of her family, he has lost his freedom, his birthright. </p><p>"What did you have in mind?"</p><p>"A pact. I know... there are things you wish you could have done. The air force, joining your father, those are out of my control - you are to be emperor. But the rest of it - the freedom to love who you wish, to see who you wish, to bed who you wish, I give it to you. You won't have a wife waiting at home to control your every action."</p><p>He sneers at her, the first openly hostile emotion he has shown her, the truth of it at last, and it hurts her deeper than she thought it would. She thought there would be nothing left of her to be cut down. How wrong she was. How very wrong she was. </p><p>"And what of you, Lady Rey? Will you be awarded the same freedoms?"</p><p>"I wished to be a Jedi Knight, and so I will live my life according to it's code." </p><p>"To take no lover, to live piously by the Force? No passion, no anger, only peace?"</p><p>"It is the only way to atone for my grandfather."</p><p>The reality of her words struck him and his eyes soften once more. </p><p>He sidles to the side and pats the tiny space beside him for her to sit. She shouldn't. She shouldn't really. But she wanted, she really wanted and how could she resist? To be pressed against his arm, his warmth searing into her own as she lightly brushed against him, fitting against him and the rough bark of the tree that now held both of them in a tender embrace. </p><p>"I'm sorry. This is not your fault. You speak of a good pact, my lady. One that will definitely help. But you and I both know that we must have an heir, a Palpatine and a Skywalker both, to carry on our peace. When do you propose this pact of ours end."</p><p>"Five years."</p><p>There, that gives her enough time, even if he cuts it in half. Even if he only gives her two. She can prepare herself. Steel her heart. His touch is to create a child. Nothing more. </p><p>"How about ten?"</p><p>He'll never touch you. </p><p>He'll never want to touch you. The sinking thought invades her brain and she knew without doubt that it's right. Ben will never look at her that way. </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>He grins and keeps looking out at her, his Gwen. </p><p>"Thank you, Rey."</p><p>"I did it for myself."</p><p>No truer words have ever been spoken.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Maybe Tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign Of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>"Where is my wife?"</p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>He was rabid with fear. An accident, she was in a hospital, in Corellia of all places, without the palace doctor, and he didn't know... and it was so quiet, without her laugh, her footsteps, her hums when she thinks no one is there and she reads in her little sun room. </p><p>She was in an accident and he wasn't there.</p><p>"Ben!"</p><p>He shoves against his father and he holds him steady, refusing to let him pass into the medical bay. </p><p>"Listen to me, you have to calm yourself. Rey is fine."</p><p>He turns rabid eyes to his father, his heart was still beating so loudly in his chest, it was so very hard to breathe, and he feels as if the very soul in his chest is being squeezed out. </p><p>He tugged on her, on the bond they shared, that tiny wisp in the Force that indicated her presence. He always tunes it out, always. Wanting to give her privacy, wanting to have privacy of his own. When it first flared into life, many years ago, during their honeymoon, he hated it. </p><p>Now he wishes he kept it open, because now, he realizes how little bits of her trickle through it, just tiny bits to tell him how she is throughout the day. And now it's gone, quiet, silent. </p><p>He's been throwing himself against that wall that separates her from him, but it's been so long, and the wall so high, and he can't get to her. Can't. </p><p>And what if she's gone? God, what if she's gone, what was he going to do? He doesn't think he can do this without her-</p><p>"BEN!"</p><p>"Dad. Dad, where's my wife?"</p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>Her voice, her voice. He lets go of Han and turns to her, and he can almost go down to his knees and kiss the ground, because she's there, hale and healthy and whole. And he runs to her because she's all he can see, and he spent the last two hours thinking she was gone and he hefts her up into his arms and there, at last was air. </p><p>There at last, he can breathe again. She was alive. And well. And didn't even bother to send him a holo. Or open their bond. </p><p>He pulls away roughly from her and runs his hand through her arms, her neck, her face, finally noticing the bruises under her eyes, and the thick bandage against her head. </p><p>"What happened to you?"</p><p>He barked, the lick of fear returning with his relief. </p><p>"I'm fine, I had a minor fall." </p><p>She pushed his hands away from her face and let them go swiftly and he ignores the pang in his chest when she does, choosing instead to wrap his arms around her again, and not let her go no matter how much she squirmed. </p><p>"Just let me hold you."</p><p>He barks at her because he had been so scared, so scared and he could have lost her.</p><p>"Why is your bond closed?"</p><p>He murmurs into her ear, as he pats her back, assuring himself that she was here, still here, with him, she wasn't gone or lost. </p><p>"I... I know when I get sick you feel the pain. I didn't want to-"</p><p>"Rey. I thought something very bad happened to you. I couldn't feel you. Don't.. don't close me off like this again, okay?"</p><p>Because he can't bear it, cannot bear the thought. The why is not important to him right now, he just knows, knows he won't be able to bear it. </p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>He refused to let her go even when his father exasperatedly forced them inside the house. Refused to let her go when he dragged her to her chambers and forced her to lie down, feeling her very exhaustion through their bond. </p><p>Refused to let her go when she slept, and her side of the bond goes quiet. </p><p>"She's not eating. Or sleeping. She's overworked. Underweight. She lost consciousness and fell down, hitting her head."</p><p>"Your mother was hysterical." Han quipped and Leia glared at him. "Our daughter tipped over unconscious. One minute she was sitting on the chair and the next nothing. We didn't know what was wrong with her, we brought her to the hospital as fast as we could."</p><p>"What's going on, Ben?"</p><p>His mother gently prompts him as he holds Rey's hand sandwiched in between his own. Warm, and here. He was so scared. He couldn't bear it, the thought of Rey not being here with him in the flesh, he can't even imagine it. She had been his constant companion all these years. </p><p>"She's working on rebuilding Hosnian Prime. Her droid tells me she's been skipping a lot of meals to go to meetings." </p><p>"Is it so urgent for her?"</p><p>"It has been a project of hers for very long."</p><p>He brushes her hair, his empress, always a bleeding heart for her people, even when she risks her own skin for their sakes.</p><p>He almost lost her because of it. </p><p>"It's dangerous. You have no heir. And the empress falls ill like this. Some might say you're trying to be rid of her."</p><p>He gives a laser sharp look at his mother. "I will kill whoever touches a hair on my wife's head. You would be careful what you accuse me off."</p><p>"We know Phasma has returned to Coruscant. Others will say the same."</p><p>His anger boils over, they didn't protect his wife, they brought her to some hospital, and he had to know 4 hours after her accident. He wasn't here. And he couldn't bear it. "I don't give a kriff what other people say."</p><p>"Ben. You need an heir."</p><p>He knows. He knows. </p><p>But his wife was his first priority, and she was sick now, and she needed him, and he needed to take care of her. </p><p>---</p><p>"Rey, you have to drink this. And then eat."</p><p>She blinks her eyes up to daylight, and Ben, his hair frizzy and floppy, in his black sweater and sleep pants, sitting beside her, holding a glass to her lips. </p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>"Hi, sweetheart."</p><p>"What are you doing here?"</p><p>Her heart beats triple time when he sighs and hauls her into his lap. They don't touch much, her feet on his lap when they watch something on the holo. His head on her lap on shuttles, when she braids his hair, to get it to that coiffed perfection. </p><p>A hug here and there, and their morning and evening kisses.</p><p>But this was... his nose was against her neck, sniffing her, his chest was pressed against her own, and there against her ass, flaccid though it may be... was... was... him. </p><p>"You closed off our bond."</p><p>She winces, she was drunk. And angry. And she just wanted it to be quiet, and not have Ben. She woke up groggy and ill and she passed out. Hesitating she lifts her arms, wraps them around his neck, and presses her cheek to his chest. </p><p>She sighs, he feels so good, he smells so good. She loves this. She loves him. But he's not hers. </p><p>"We have to talk, Rey."</p><p>She makes to slip out of his arms, unwilling to talk now that his arms are around hers, but he holds her closer. </p><p>"We have to fulfill the pact Rey, it's been ten years."</p><p>She shudders and squirms in his lap. </p><p>"But... Phasma."</p><p>He pulls back from her and cups her cheeks. </p><p>"You are my wife, and Empress of the Galaxy. My duty to you is first and you will step aside for no woman."</p><p>"I will step aside for her."</p><p>She can't. She can't sleep with him. Can't he see that? Sleeping with him, getting to know his body, having a piece of him, inside of her, it was too much. It was everything she wanted and more, and knowing that she won't have it forever would break her. She loves him too much, she wasn't sure she can let him go. She can't let him go. </p><p>"Rey, we need an heir. You know this. And while I intend to be faithful to Phasma when I make her consort, I don't want to neglect my duties to you. You will remain Empress, your son or your daughter will continue the line and inherit the throne." </p><p>She knows of the concubines he's kept throughout the years. She hadn't been blind. But this was different. This was... </p><p>"I haven't done this before, Ben."</p><p>"Neither have I."</p><p>Her eyes widen, surely not. She's heard, of so many of his exploits. So many mistresses that has given her the stink eye. So many she had dreamt of beheading and choking herself. </p><p>"But the rumors-"</p><p>"I wanted them spread. It was necessary. At least give us a cover of why we didn't have children yet."</p><p>Rey swallowed, ten years. Ten years that her husband could have gone to her bed. </p><p>"Why didn't you-"</p><p>He cups her cheeks. And shrugs his shoulders in that Ben way that she loved. Gods did she love him. </p><p>"You were young. And you were scared. And you had... a fellow. And I can wait."</p><p>"Don't you want it with Phasma?"</p><p>"Rey. You're my wife."</p><p>He places his forehead against hers, and closes his eyes. She shudders and he hopes against hope it's from pleasure. Because he can't face the alternative, that in ten years, even with friendship and affection and trust between them, she still didn't want him to touch her, in the same way she didn't want him to touch her ten years ago. </p><p>"What if I can't conceive?"</p><p>He studies her, the way the bruises under her eyes mar her skin, the frailty of her. How didn't he see before? How didn't he care for her better. He knows she hasn't been eating. That she's been heaping salt and butter on her food. He should have taken better care of her. </p><p>"Then we can't. But we won't know unless we try."</p><p>"Not... tonight, won't we?"</p><p>Desire. Hot. So hot floods through him. </p><p>And she shudders. "No, not tonight."</p><p>But he understands why he thinks he's capable of it. Because his nose is nuzzling her neck, and her hands caressing her sides, close to her breasts, and he was, very much, hard underneath her. </p><p>"When?"</p><p>"A week? To get you recovered. To make sure you are healthy."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Okay. But... for tonight, can I..."</p><p>He presses a small kiss to her forehead, and her eyes close. </p><p>Just a little he thinks. Just a little. Just to prove to him that she's here, and alive and well. </p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"Okay." She breathes out, her breath touching his lips and she shudders and his lips press against each eye, then tracing down to her cheeks. Little butterfly kisses down both cheeks before he reaches her jaw. He nips at it and she moans. </p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"Okay-" She breathes out with a ragged breath. He kisses down her jaw to the side of her neck, sucking on the junction of her shoulder and neck. Rey lets out a moan, and her hips thrust against him. </p><p>He kisses back up to her chin, nipping there before opening his eyes and looking right at hers.</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"Oka-"</p><p>She never finishes because his mouth closes over hers, hot and wet and alive with want. His tongue is in her mouth the next moment, coaxing hers, sliding slick and wet against hers. </p><p>She kisses him until there is no air in her lungs, kisses him until she has to push him and take in a big gulp of air. "Ben."</p><p>His only reply is to lean forward and kiss her again. </p><p>And she sinks and sinks into it. </p><p>---</p><p>"Where are you going?"</p><p>She rolls her eyes as she applies the red rogue on her lips, as assisted by her droid and selects the robes to match Ben's.</p><p>"The Senator of Hosnian Prime is coming today. I cannot miss it."</p><p>"Rey-"</p><p>"I'm fine! I'm still eating, I'm sleeping, you have ensured no work comes to me beyond 1700 standard hours. At least let me do this one job for you."</p><p>He has gotten used to having her abed. Having her so near him, that when he wanted to check on her, he can just send a private comm to her guards, or her droid, or tug on their bond. He was still shaken at what happened to her in Corellia, she's hardly ever let out his sight. He supervises her meals and removed all salt from her immediate vicinity. </p><p>The palace found it adorable. </p><p>Rey found it suffocating. Being so near Ben like this... nearing the day they'd have to consummate... it was torture in it's finest form. </p><p>"It's one event, and I will be here for you to baby over dinner."</p><p>He winces, and dread settles into her stomach. She knows that look. "About that, I promised Gwen I'd take her to see the new opera."</p><p>"Oh." She schools her features, he must not know, he must not know. He must not see how she burns with jealousy right now. </p><p>"I'd take you, but Rey you need to rest and-"</p><p>She holds up a hand, swallows down the bitterness that she wants to spew at him, the bitterness she wants to slap at him. </p><p>"Even better. Then I can take the Senator to dinner and settle this business and eat, the way I want to."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"You can check on me, I'll keep the bond open."</p><p>And in a move she has never done before, she grabs Ben's collar, and drags his lips down to hers, and proceeds to kiss him, open mouth, tongue and all. </p><p>He makes a strangled breath before his hands wrap around her and his hips thrust against hers, and his mouth practically devours her. </p><p>She pulls away, sucking his bottom lip into her own mouth, and flushing at whatever it was that she has just done. </p><p>"I'll see you later, Ben."</p><p>And if later on that evening the Holonet crew shows the Emperor entering the opera with a red taint to his lips and collar, the same red tint that was seen sported by the Empress in her meeting with the Hosnian Prime Senator, then she doesn't say anything. But Rose rolls her eyes at her, and starts stacking her vanity with more red rogue for her lips. </p><p>And the next morning as she leaves the breakfast atrium for her meeting with the committee for the annual Life Day ball, and she aims to kiss Ben's cheek, and he turns his head, captures her mouth and tumbles her into his lap, she doesn't say anything at all. </p><p>Even when the Emperor appears on the Holonet with red lipstick on his cheek as he showed the gardens to the Twile'k grand master, who can't help but look away from the smug smiling emperor. </p><p>Maybe, she thinks to herself. Maybe their friendship has a chance to take flight after all. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Honey and the Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The 35th Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Darth Licht </strong>
</p><p>"So you'll marry her."</p><p>"I have no choice."</p><p>Gwen scoffs and pushes off the balcony. "You do. You can let this go, run away with me. Let someone else have the throne. Let someone else marry her."</p><p>If only. </p><p>If only there were anyone else who can. But he was his mother's only son. He was raised to be Emperor. And too many lives had been shed for this war. </p><p>He can't be like his grandfather and throw it all away for love. </p><p>"It's not that simple Gwen."</p><p>"It is. But it is! You just won't do it."</p><p>"I can't do it."</p><p>Gwen shoves him, and he falters under her anger. "You're choosing this, a crown, a throne, a galaxy, over me?"</p><p>"Peace. Lives of trillions. Lives greater and bigger than mine. You've heard it. Palpatine has supporters. They will use her, they will bring chaos. She didn't want it. She stopped it. She sacrificed herself for it. I have to help her. It's the only way."</p><p>He remembers her, the tiny slip of a girl, on a piano. <em>What do you suggest I do?</em> </p><p>Trapped. As he was. Left with no choice. </p><p>"I will always love you Gwen."</p><p>"Do you really?" She left him behind with such hatred in her eyes.</p><p>And he does, truly, but he is an emperor before he is anything else. Love cannot blind him to that. He has duty to consider.</p><p>---</p><p>"Get. Up."</p><p>Armitage shakes him violently and Ben feels like his head was going to explode. </p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I cannot believe you got drunk on your wedding day. Your mother will kill you! Then me!"</p><p>His head. Oh God his head and Armitage was too loud. </p><p>"How... what time?"</p><p>"You have half an hour!"</p><p>He makes it. His head feels like it was being split open, and he wanted nothing more than to vomit his guts out. But his ceremonial robes, the heavy black cape are adorning him and bolsters him. He will make it down this aisle, for galaxy, for peace. And then he sees her. Gwen's face, right there, looking at him. </p><p>She was majestic in her grief, head held high, and beseeching him. Run. Run away now with me. Leave all this behind. </p><p>And he wants to. He stops beside her for a second because he wants to. He really wants to. But he wasn't that man. He wasn't Vader. It wasn't the man his mother raised. "I love you." He says, loudly, clearly, to her, before he turns his head and walks down the aisle, head held high.</p><p>---</p><p>Rey refused to look at him, dwarfed in the giant red and gold monstrosity that his mother outfitted her in. The dress wear of the Queen of Naboo, the seat of power of her family. Where his grandmother hailed from. </p><p>Her face, already painted a deathly white was wan and pale. The dark lipstick not helping matters. </p><p>Her dress dwarfed her, and he saw misery in her eyes. Here was the girl who defeated Supreme Leader Snoke with one fell swoop of her double bladed lightsaber. A Queen in her own right, and she looked so miserable. </p><p>She looked at her husband and saw he shared her emotions. </p><p>Their rings were Alderaanian, a warm heavy circle of a white metal, hers was encrusted with a sparkling blue stone. His was just the band. </p><p>"I. Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo, Prince of Alderaan, take you, Reyna Kira Palpatine, Supreme Leader of the First Order, Duchess of Naboo, as my wife and equal, in this life and in all the other lives that follow."</p><p>His hands tremble as he pushes the ring on to her fingers and she wants to weep, and cry because she longed to hear those words, how lovely and beautiful they are, but he doesn't mean them. If only. If only in the next life she can meet him first. </p><p>"I. Reyna Kira-"</p><p>But she falters. She didn't want to marry him, as this person, this monster her grandfather had created, forced to be Ben's burden because she bears the name Palpatine.</p><p>"I, Rey, take you Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo, Prince of Alderaan, as my husband and equal, in this life and in all the other lives that follow." She places the ring around his finger, and grips him tightly, a show of solidarity, of support. If I cannot be your love, then I can be your friend. She resolves to do it. Resolves to follow through with it. </p><p>They are asked to kiss, and for a second he gets lost in his eyes, the color of warm honey and tea, before he scrunches them closed and inches forward to her. But she halts his face. Not here, where his loved one can see. Not when she already hurts so much. Not when Ben already hurts so much. So she turns his face, and kisses his cheek, right there, on his dimple, wishing she would have the chance to see it again. </p><p>But Ben Solo does not smile again, not for a long while after that. </p><p>---</p><p>"Her Royal Highness will take her dinner in her rooms."</p><p>"Ben where are you-"</p><p>But he can't deal with her, not today. He knows it is not her fault. Knows she wishes to have no part of this whatsoever. If she can she would be in Chandrilla with his uncle learning the ways of the Force. </p><p>But still knowing that and dealing with it are two different things. </p><p>"Not tonight, Rey. Please."</p><p>"Okay." </p><p>She climbs to her rooms, determined to sleep, determined to forget him. But the minute she closes her door, she ends up weeping, throwing herself on the bed, wailing all her anger out at her pillow. </p><p>Her heart breaks in her very chest and she doesn't understand it, doesn't know how to stop it, doesn't know how to move past it, and everything hurts, and she's so scared, and so afraid that she will never in her life be happy again, and she wretchedly wishes that she's never met Ben Solo to begin with and she just wants her old life, with her old personality, and none of this pain, and suffering. </p><p>She rises, after a cry, and takes a nice long bath, and changes into her shift. </p><p>She will not shed a tear over Ben Solo anymore. She won't. She falls asleep repeating the mantra to herself.</p><p>But she wakes to a deafening crash and she sees him, Ben, in his shirt, trashing his room. </p><p>"BEN!" </p><p>He throws what was obviously a glass in his hands and she hears it shatter, but does not see it. </p><p>She blinks, turns her lights on and notices him there, just him. </p><p>His eyes widen, and in their drunken stupor they wander down to her chest and she realizes that she's wearing her think shift, packed by Rose thinking this is her wedding night. </p><p>"Don't look!"</p><p>She squeals and throws the pillow at Ben but it sails past him, past his body and through the wall. They both still, and he looked down and touched his abdomen. </p><p>"You're not here."</p><p>Of course he wasn't, Rey thought to herself. There was no way he would visit her rooms. </p><p>Ben walked around, touching things that seemed to be not there, before finally turning to her. </p><p>"Where are you? Can you see my surroundings?"</p><p>She was tired, so tired, all she wanted was a few hours to weep and sleep and he was here, disturbing here when he already permeates every thought and every desire. </p><p>"I hate you. You're a monster."</p><p>She sniffles, and cowers under her covers. </p><p>"I don't see yours." He murmurs ignoring her outburst. "Just you."</p><p>"You left me here, all alone."</p><p>He looks at her and still shakes his head. "This isn't you. The effort alone will kill you. This is something else."</p><p>He's talking about the Force. Now. When she spent her wedding night crying over her unrequited love for her husband, who suddenly decided that now is the time to be an inconsiderate bantha's ass.</p><p>"Why is the Force connecting us?"</p><p>She hurls another pillow at him and settles back down under her covers, her back facing him. </p><p>"Rey. I..."</p><p>"Leave."</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"THEN DON'T SPEAK!"</p><p>She buries her head under the covers and drifts off to the warm sensation of a hand tracing circles on her shoulder. </p><p>---</p><p>"I'm moving to a more private place. My grandmother's old house is still here, Varykino."</p><p>"Then I will go with you."</p><p>"Rey I am not-"</p><p>"If you expect me to stay here with the pitiful stares of everyone as my husband trashes his room, and drinks himself to stupor you have another thing coming."</p><p>She shoves him and gets on the little speeder herself. </p><p>They say nothing until they get to Varykino, and he promptly shows her her rooms, and he locks himself in another wing. </p><p>They had no servants, no droids, no nothing. </p><p>The village was three hours away by speeder. </p><p>Her husband expected them to live on portions. Well... he expected her. </p><p>He had holed up with a crate of his father's precious Corellian Whiskey and seemed to exist on it. </p><p>Days bled into nights and into days. </p><p>She hears the destruction in his room, the rage, the anger, the fizzle of his lightsaber - red, fiery with a cross guard that makes it even deadlier - the first time she saw it, she was mesmerized by it's beauty and he proceeded to hack everything in his room with it. </p><p>Rations come the next week, fresh fruit and bread and milk and cheese. </p><p>And another crate of whiskey. </p><p>She makes do. She lived in Jakku with worse, but the sounds of his agony had become too much for her to bear. </p><p>He destroys most of his room so he now sleeps on the ground in the living room. </p><p>Once she went it to check on him and he hissed at her as she turned on a lamp. </p><p>She squirreled out of there as fast as she can. </p><p>She saw him rise to get another bottle of whiskey with a shaky hand and noted he lost weight. A lot of it and his hair was matted, and tangled. </p><p>In the second week, she wakes to the sound of him, pointing his lightsaber at his own head. </p><p>"BEN!"</p><p>The anger that rips through her was violent and forceful and she doesn't know how but she manages to knock the lightsaber out of his hand, his shocked expression the last thing she sees before he winks out of existence. </p><p>She marches into her room, and sees him sprawled on the floor. </p><p>That was it, she was done. </p><p>She was done. With anger she gathered all the bottles of whiskey in the house, and using the Force hurled them all out to the river. </p><p>Then she goes to his room, and opens a light. </p><p>He hisses but she is firm this time. </p><p>"Stop this."</p><p>"Gwen? Is that you?"</p><p>His arms reach for her, and the next thing she knows she is in his arms, and his mouth is upon hers. </p><p>She stands, frozen still, his mouth was warm and hot against hers and it was everything she imagined and more but then he tries to lick her, tries to pry her mouth open and she uses the Force to push him. </p><p>"I am not your beloved Your Highness, I am your wife! Unhand me!"</p><p>Ben blinks, at the angry, tiny waif of a girl, fuming over him. </p><p>"I know you have lost something. I know the sky is collapsing on you and the galaxy is a dark place! But that is no excuse to toy with your life!"</p><p>"Rey, get out of here."</p><p>He rises and searches for his whiskey, and finds that the bottle is not here.</p><p>"I have rid you of all your alcohol."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>He turns to her, mind hazy, and she was so tiny and small, her hair so dark and he wonders how in the world he mistook her for Gwen and her lips quiver. </p><p>"I have thrown out all your alcohol."</p><p>He smirks, she didn't know his precious hiding spot - so he reaches above him, and finds it empty. And he searches with the Force and yes, yes, she did throw it all out. </p><p>He growls at her and makes for the door. "Then I will get more."</p><p>"I have locked the speeder, and you don't know how to get to town. You will sober up for tonight Ben Solo, or so help me..."</p><p>She stalks out of his room, and slams the door. </p><p>The next thing he remembers is being so violently ill, and retching, and warm hands that tie his hair back and rub his back as he gets sick. </p><p>Then he is fed soup, and water, and he retches that out again. And the pattern repeats, and repeats.</p><p>The next time he wakes there is a heavy sensation in his head, and he was aching all over, and there were bright white and pink flowers in his room. </p><p>He groans and sees Rey, rouse from her perch at his bedside, her tiny hand encasing his own. He gives it a squeeze, and Rey fully rises, taking him in. </p><p>"You're awake."</p><p>"Barely."</p><p>"I will get you tea, and toast."</p><p>"I'd rather whiskey."</p><p>The same flash of irritation crosses her face. "You are not the only one who has lost someone they loved because of this marriage. It is not the end of the world, Ben."</p><p>It clicks for him, her reluctance to sleep with him, her misery at the wedding, her intent to go with Luke... of course, she had someone. She had a man she loved too. And he was also taken from her. But she did not act like a cur. Unlike him. He felt so ashamed, felled in strength by a girl almost half his age and size. </p><p>She extracts her hand from his, and he blinks at the flowers again. "These..."</p><p>"Kira blossoms. The man delivering our supplies says Kira Tea will help you with the symptoms. I know nothing about brewing tea. And I've no wish to further poison you. But I do hope they bring you comfort."</p><p>They don't. But he is grateful nevertheless. </p><p>---</p><p>It takes him a solid week before he wakes, completely coherent. He was weak, yes, but the shakes are gone, and so was the retching. And the heavy pounding in his head. </p><p>There were fresh Kira blossoms in his nightstand. And cold tea and toast. </p><p>Heavy drapes block out light from his room. </p><p>He opens them, hisses at the burn and surveys the room. Everything slashed, or shattered or gouged. He fears it, this violence in him, because of love. Like Vader, he thinks bitterly and shuts that thought deep in his brain. </p><p>He steps out, determined to heat his own tea, and warm his own toast, before he could find his wife. </p><p>Their spirit-lamp was out of fuel, and so he steps out to gather wood and start a fire for the little stove top. </p><p>When he finishes eating, realizing how famished he was, there was still no sign of his wife. </p><p>He ventures up the stairs, into her rooms, and finds her there, sprawled on the bed, her comm-link clutched in her hands, a holo recording of her playing </p><p>
  <em>Ben has gotten some kind of stomach bug from the market and is feeling poorly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll make him call once he feels better. </em>
</p><p><em>I will definitely try to visit there but Varykino is a lovely place...</em> </p><p>And he sees countless of other missives she had been fielding in his absence. Missives from Alderaan, from the Core Worlds he was responsible for, well wishes for his marriage, all of them organized and replied to. He stares at her, the tiny marvel that was his wife, that had purged him of Whiskey on her own. </p><p>He grabs her blanket, intent to cover her with it, when he sees the burn marks on her hands.</p><p>No. No he didn't think he would hurt another-</p><p>Without thinking he grabs her hands. "Oh, Rey I am so sorry-"</p><p>Her fingers curl around his, as she sleepily blinks awake. "Not you. I tried to use my saber to open a tin can."</p><p>He laughs, partly in relief and presses his lips to her hand. </p><p>"I have been a dratted cur, haven't I sweetheart?"</p><p>Her face was puffy, her eyes blood shot, but she was lovely. His wife who had been there for him at his darkest hour. His very strong wife, who like him, lost someone, and still she stands, strong and mighty, because this was the right thing to do. </p><p>"You have."</p><p>He smiles a little and her eyes twinkle at the sight. </p><p>"Tell me about him."</p><p>"About who?"</p><p>"Your fellow. The one you have lost because of this marriage."</p><p>It was nice to hold her hand. To have a comrade in all of this, who knows what it's like to have your heart ripped out of you. To not have the one person you truly loved. </p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>"You know all about Gwen. I think it's only fair I hear about him too."</p><p>"He... ah... his name is Finn."</p><p>"Finn?"</p><p>"FN-2187, actually." She grins, remembering her old friend, wishing he was alright. </p><p>"A Storm Trooper?"</p><p>Ben smiles at her, and her hands tighten around his, the lie easy to weave. </p><p>Her love for him, in some pathetic way, is finally reaching him. </p><p>"He was a friend, when I was being trained in the Dreadnaught. He was the only one who treated me like a person. He defected after Snoke razed Jakku, and ran to the Resistance. He was the one who helped me... he linked me to Master Skywalker."</p><p>"So he's a Jedi in training?"</p><p>"No... he wasn't strong enough in the Force. But he does help Master Skywalker. He has healing abilities. But last I heard he has moved on from the Academy and started his own practice. For healing."</p><p>She would have gone with him, Ben realized. He would never have met her if her mother had accepted her surrender. She would have been a healer's wife. Maybe a Jedi Knight. And he would never have known her, and his life and his marriage would be his own. </p><p>Still, somehow the thought of never knowing her was a pain right at his center, as if he was being torn apart. </p><p>But that does not make sense at all, and he clams up in fear, because... because right then, he began to feel it, see it, memories of a dark skinned man, in a Trooper uniform laughing at him, and promising to come back. </p><p>He releases her hand and her own eyes widen. </p><p>"Did you just-"</p><p>"I think we're being connected-"</p><p>He feels her wanting to sneeze three seconds before she did. </p><p>His fear was palpable in her own heart. </p><p>"We... need to talk to Master Skywalker."</p><p>He nods, and looks around. "My grandmother would kill me if she saw what I did to her home."</p><p>Rey merely laughs and rolls to her back. "At least the honey moon is over."</p><p>Yes. Thank goodness for that. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. You Are The Who</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>"Six months."</p><p>"To a year. It depends, on when we can conceive an heir."</p><p>"You cannot be serious!" Gwen paced in front of him, glaring at him all this while. </p><p>"I am. We need to secure the line. Only our child will truly bring about peace."</p><p>"It's been <em>ten years! </em>What makes you think now will be a good time?"</p><p>"My wife was young. Besides consummating our marriage-" A lie he has to tell. He can't trust anyone with Rey's safety. Not even Gwen. "-we haven't really gotten around to procreating."</p><p>"I don't like this Ben."</p><p>"Yes. But it is our duty to the crown."</p><p>Gwen sighs but shakes her head and smiles. "Nevermind, after this, at least we get to spend a month in Mustafar! It will be lovely then, in the winter, with the hot springs."</p><p>He let Gwen drone on and on about their month in Mustafar. </p><p>Of course, he wanted to spend time with her, but discretion is of the most import. He will not shame his wife. But the way Gwen speaks, as if they were not carrying on an affair, as if he wouldn't be cheating on his wife, bothers him. </p><p>As does the thought of not spending the Parliament break after Life Day with Rey and his family in Varykino. A place he had gotten to love as his refuge and a place to be after he and his wife rebuilt it. She would be alone this Life Day then, without him there. The thought twists at his gut. Rey had no other relations or family. He was it. And leaving her behind felt like he was opening a most beloved house to a winter storm and finding everything destroyed the next day. </p><p>---</p><p>"You shouldn't have let that tariff pass."</p><p>She scowled at him from across the speeder and he only smiles at her. </p><p>Ben's been whistling a lot these days. She glances at the Alderaanian band on his finger, and the crest of a Falcon on his index, a ring she had gifted him for his birthday. How she wanted, longed, to feel it against her skin. </p><p>He was also wearing a coat she had made for him, sleek black, with buckle clasps and a cape that matched with his hair. </p><p>She wants to rip it off of him. </p><p>How foolish was she, to think that putting cloth on his skin and rings on his fingers would mark him as hers. How foolish was she to think there ever was a time he was. His heart might as well carry the sign - Property of Gwendolyn Phasma - intruders beware. </p><p>And she wants to be happy for him, truly she did. She wants him to finally smile again, and breathe and be, but must he hurt her so? Must he force her to do this farce? Must he not give her the time and space and force her to be with him at every single point? Can she not move on from him? She feels like she's drowning in him. </p><p>"You usually agree with me when it's time to raise tariff prices. It's been six years since sugar had been regulated, and well, the health ministry has been asking us to do so-"</p><p>"I'd rather you did it when you are not so buoyant."</p><p>He laughs, delighted at the word and he whistles that annoying tune always under his breath. She wants to smack his mouth. And then kiss him, claim him. Mark him with the red of her lipstick. </p><p>Her morning kisses now involve his mouth, he wouldn't have it any other way. Even when she tries to skip it, he would find a way to catch her mouth with his own. </p><p>"Buoyant. That's a term no one has accused me of being in a long time."</p><p>She wants to slap him. </p><p>And then beg him to love her, it was such a confusing feeling. </p><p>The speeder stops at the landing platform. They were waiting for Han and Leia to return for her birthday dinner. Something that Ben implemented when he first discovered it 10 years ago whilst they were planning for his coronation after Leia's accident.</p><p>"Ben, I was thinking, maybe this year... we can skip the party?"</p><p>He doubles over and looks at her. </p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because... I mean, with Captain Phasma back... I'm sure you would want to spend time with her, and this party is a week long event-"</p><p>"It's your birthday."</p><p>"Yes but-"</p><p>"Rey."</p><p>He slides closer to her and wraps his arms around her, holding her close. She resists the urge to burrow into him, and slide into his skin and never let him go, and she wants to cry because she wants to cement this in her memory, the feel of his arm hooked over hers as she rests her head on his chest. </p><p>"You're my wife, my friend. My only family these days. I'm not missing out on your birthday celebration."</p><p>She sighs and settles against him, and lets herself pretend. That he was hers, that this was going to be just one moment in an infinity of moments. </p><p>"Sometimes I feel like I'm getting too old."</p><p>"You're 25."</p><p>"Gods, don't remind me."</p><p>She gives in to it, to the desire to burrow deep into his chest. His scent assaults her. Her soap, she realizes. He's started using her soap. A wave of possessiveness washes over her and she presses her cheek into his arm, breathing in more of his scent. </p><p>"Oh, you like that."</p><p>His hand comes up to stroke from crown to nape and she almost purrs and she realizes her defenses are down, and her mind is linking to his, and he seems drunk in her pleasure and she blinks, and pulls away, and puts all her walls and defenses back up. </p><p>Ben reaches for her, as if he doesn't want the link to break... but then he stills and snaps out of it, shaking his head like a dog. </p><p>"Sorry." She squeaks and he nods, and pulls her back in against him. She's careful this time. </p><p>"Anyway-" he clears his throat "-you're young, and you have life ahead of you."</p><p>"It feels so different, though. It's like I don't even know who this person is, and I miss... I miss the person I was ten years ago."</p><p>He hums in acknowledgment and sighs. "I think it's part of aging. I think ten years from now, I'd miss the person I was just because I was young. With no back ache."</p><p>"Even the year we were married?"</p><p>She meant it as a joke, but emotion chokes her. Would he miss her when she was gone and he was with Captain Phasma? Would he miss her if she was not here anymore? Or would he rather forget her.</p><p>"Especially then. I'd never forget it, the way you shut up Admiral Pryde, and that disaster with the trooper uniform, and of course, you winning dejarik against Chewie. I would never forget it. I would always cherish it."</p><p>And she smiles, because that has to be enough, isn't it? It has to be? </p><p>If she can't be his love, then she'd be a fond memory. </p><p>And so would he. And though she knew it would break her heart even more, when their end inevitably came, she tucked herself against his side, and held him, and let herself dream. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Before You Let Me Go, You Really Should Have Known</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The 35th Year of the Galactic Reign of Empress Darth Licht </strong>
</p><p>Their return to Coruscant was met with little fanfare. Their meeting with Master Skywalker however, was not. </p><p>There was glee in his eyes, a bounce in his step as he led them to his personal libraries, of books he actually read when he burnt the Jedi Order to the ground. </p><p>"Dyads. Dyads in the Force. Rarely seen in lifetimes, the last known was Darth Revan and Master Bastila Shan. He turned to the Light for her... well, not that it matters. It forms in instances of life and death, when one saves the other."</p><p>Ben spares a look at Rey and flushes. She did save him from the brink of death, his little Kira blossom, that took away all the poisons in his life. </p><p>He had to admire the quiet strength in his wife. Whereas he turned to destruction thinking all is lost, she clung to her order, her strength. She reigned in her anger and her heartbreak. Even though she suffered as strongly as he did. He is determined then, to follow her, to cling to stoicism as she did. </p><p>"I can hear his thoughts in my head."</p><p>He blinked, she did? And she flushes. "You're loud, Ben."</p><p>He flushes and backs up from her, embarassed that his open admiration for her is now known to her. </p><p>"I can block it, I learned... before to kill Snoke I had to be able to block it, but Ben's a battering ram. I don't know how to stop it."</p><p>Master Skywalker frowns. "You can't block him, Rey, he's like... your Force twin. You'll always be able to sense him in a way. But you can learn to build a wall. with a door, Like having a roommate, only in your mind. </p><p>So they train. </p><p>They spend hours training. </p><p>It's uncomfortable how much of Ben trickles through in those early days. She feels his shame, his single minded focus to being better, training to be emperor and never touching alcohol for as long as he lived. </p><p>She wonders if parts of her trickle through the bond.</p><p>He throws himself into building their home, here in Varykino. They were given quarters in the Imperial Palace, but he chose to have his seat in Naboo, away from the palace, away from the guards. Away from Captain Phasma of the Galactic Fleet. </p><p>Varykino was a good place, but it was a problematic estate. And now that she was Duchess of Naboo, she was also busy in the day to day running of the estate. </p><p>Ben would often be gone for days on end, on some far flung place in Naboo dealing with tenant issues. Her days were occupied with charities and balls and throwing state dinners. These trips involved making use of the freedoms she had given him, of course, and she closes her thoughts viciously on the bitter edge of envy she had for the women who graced his bed. </p><p>She too longed to feel his skin against hers. </p><p>Through this all their bond remained open. They still meditated daily, hellbent on building the wall with a door, but slowly she got used to having her husband in her head. </p><p>And so did he. </p><p>There were small comforts in knowing he was safe, when he was hungry and she can nudge him to eat. </p><p>He can sense acutely her tiredness, and often would speak in her mind to get her to sleep. </p><p>When he's away for more than 3 days, the Bond connects them. </p><p>The first time he appears to her, she was bone tired, and heartsick from missing him, it being the first time in many months that he was away from her. </p><p>She feels the shift in the bond, the very atoms around her rearrange and knows that he is here. </p><p>"I don't want to do this now."</p><p>She was tired, and she wants to cry, and bury herself in his pillow she stole from his room that smelled like him and made her feel like home. </p><p>"Yeah me too."</p><p>He was naked, with only his black towel to cover it from her, and she turns, and sees the hair damp and curling around his cheeks, his chest, broad, white, pale in the light of his fresher. She gasps at the sight of the muscles she only dreamed about, taut and tense, rippling under skin. His arms alone was the width of her, and his hands, those hands can crush her, and she feels the familiar heat spread through her as her eyes raked about his torso. </p><p>"Don't you have... a cowl,or something that you can put on."</p><p>"What's the matter? Are you okay?"</p><p>"Of course I'm okay, why won't I be."</p><p>"I'm naked in your room for one."</p><p>She breaks then, the heavy heady tears she had longed to cry, the pressure of being someone she was not, the pain of being once again left alone, rushes through her. She had been trying to keep a lid on it for so long that when the dam breaks, it was like being flooded. </p><p>"I hate you, just go away."</p><p>She turns her back on him and dives into her bed and he sighs and she thinks he's gone, but minutes later, he places a hand on her hair. </p><p>"I think... next time we have to go together."</p><p>She sniffs and turns, and he has a shirt on and his sleep pants, and he smiles ruefully at her. </p><p>"You mean it?"</p><p>"I won't leave you alone again, Rey."</p><p>She sobs and jumps into his arms and she couldn't say the words but she lets the bond open, and all her fears, her anxiety, Talla the Hutt's visit, all of it, came crashing into him and he held her and soothed her, and was there for her through it all. </p><p>He returns home the next day, dark circles in his eyes, but the minute she strikes out of the house in nothing but her grey wraps, her feet bare and launching herself on his arms, she sees something that she has not seen in the four months that they have been together in this island. </p><p>Ben Solo's dimples wink out as he opens his arms to her and holds her close. </p><p>Ben Solo smiles as he whispers his apology in her ear. </p><p>Ben Solo smiles wide for the entire day they spend together. </p><p>---</p><p>The news comes three months into their new routine. They were having breakfast in the sun room, their muscles limber from their morning training and meditation, the bond a familiar thing now, less intrusive, more... warmth. More the notion that you're not alone. </p><p>Captain Phasma has chosen to lead an Outer Rim mission to bring down the Jawanese scavengers. </p><p>He says nothing and folds the holo pod pack into his pocket and continues with his breakfast. </p><p>He stands up and disappears for the rest of the day. </p><p>---</p><p>The Naberries were visiting them, and he goes off from town to search for his wife. </p><p>He finds her, hacking at trees with her lightsaber. </p><p>He's heard of her before, of course. The mysterious apprentice of Lord Snoke. </p><p>Her saber was blinding red like his, from recovered and rebled Kyber crystals, double bladed to create a staff. </p><p>It was a curious thing, his wife. At any given day he can recite her schedule, and he shares a link with her mind, knows when she is tired, or scared or happy, or in this case, very frustrated, but the things that push it, and promote such emotions are walled off behind her castle like barriers. </p><p>He never knocked on those doors. She deserved her own privacy. </p><p>But still... a man can watch his wife grapple with trees. </p><p>At first glance he labelled his wife plain. Her dark hair, her fair skin, her green eyes, nothing at all like the radiance that was Gwen. </p><p>But then he noticed the way the sun threaded bits of light fiery brown in her hair, how her eyes were not all green, they were like reflecting pools, deceptively still and shallow, but emotions fleck them, turning a dull green into an indescribable hazel. Her skin was littered with a constellation of freckles, and now, her tiny compact form was laying waste to a forest. </p><p>She moved like a river, flowing, lithe, smooth, lethal. </p><p>And he feels the blood quicken in his veins, as she executes a particularly complicated lightsaber form with her saber staff that the next thing he knows his own saber is ignited in his hands and he parries her attack. </p><p>She smiles, feral, cat like, as she twists out of his parry and launches a series of complicated offensive moves learned only in the Jedi text that he laughs, full, loud, from his belly to his heart, because here at last was the truth of his wife, all her guards were down, polite niceties shoved aside as she tried to maim him. </p><p>Testing her, she shifts his weight to launch into offense, using the bulk of him to bring his saber heavily above her, and she's forced to twist her staff back into traditional saber form to have better mobility around the wrists. </p><p>They were evenly matched, the bond allowing them to anticipate movements and block before it was even made. </p><p>It was a test of deceit and physical play, that at the end when his wife ends up underneath him, his saber on her neck and her own pointed at his back, they laugh and call it a truce. </p><p>She was beautiful. </p><p>He finds, with a surprise. </p><p>Cripplingly beautiful, in the quiet way that trees in sunlight are beautiful only if you dare to look. </p><p>Like a Kira flower, quiet and unassuming and all at once everything. </p><p>He's taken to watching her now, trying to get a measure of her. She seems to know him, his wife, knows all the nooks and crannies of him, but she remains a highly guarded mystery. </p><p>And it is so, during one of their mornings together, spent while she was reading some new or other that he finally opens his mouth. </p><p>"Gwen... Captain Phasma is leaving to the Outer Rim today."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>He smiles. Of course she does. His wife had more spies than he probably had friends. </p><p>"Do you want me to leave, Ben?"</p><p>"I want you to help me build your garden."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Her eyes bug out of her head and she sets her datapad down with a heavy thump. </p><p>"I'm done running. And I'm glad you're here. Let's do something productive!"</p><p>His wife gapes at him like a fish and he chuckles, leaning over her to ruffle her hair. </p><p>"Let's go sweetheart."</p><p>---</p><p>His wife continued to be a mystery he cannot unbox. She wore her gray wraps as if they were fine linen, and then one bright day, on the day the Naberries were supposed to come, he finds her in a dress of a deep green that mimicked the foliage in the forests that she loved. They were strappy things, that left her arms bare, an expanse of milky skin left exposed and her hair was out of it's usual buns, instead curled and coiffed around her face. </p><p>There was sunlight behind her, and a smile on her face as she placed the final holo-photos she wanted to display in their house. Pictures of them, in picnics, after saber duels, with his parents in the palace... their life in the past 8 months together. </p><p>"How old are you again"?"</p><p>He asked because here, bathed in the sunlight, she looked so young, so radiant, so beautiful. </p><p>He almost choked on his own tongue, because his wife was exceptionally beautiful. </p><p>And strong. </p><p>And kind. </p><p>"Sixteen."</p><p>Sixteen?</p><p>"Since when?"</p><p>"Since today."</p><p>His jaw drops and he marches to her, lifting her off her feet from the ladder she was perched on and into the couch. </p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"The Naberries are coming." She shrugs. His ever dutiful wife. He feels even more disgusted with himself. </p><p>"Well, it's your birthday. We are not spending it with my hateful uncle who will tell us how much we have ruined Varykino."</p><p>He calls his uncle to tell them that he and his Princess would be gone for the day, ignoring his sputters and his anger. </p><p>He takes Rey to the shore, because she always wanted to see the sea and delights in her laughter. </p><p>"Do you want to go in?"</p><p>"I can't swim!"</p><p>He takes off his shirt and his pants. </p><p>"Then I'll teach you!"</p><p>She hesitated, and pulled her dress up over her skin and he tries, dearly tries not to let his eyes wander down, the creamy skin, littered with freckles, her pointy nipples straining from the dark green band covering her breasts, the flat stomach, and the deep V between her legs covered by green the same color as her dress and breast band. </p><p>He flushes, and turns away from her, ignoring the fire licking at his veins and plunges himself into cold water. </p><p>He holds his arms out to her, and she clings to him as the waves lap over them, and if he holds her tighter, and grins up at her, leading her to kiss him on the cheek, and if his hands touch over the swell of her behind, or grazes a little bit against her breast at her sides it was only because he was teaching her to swim. </p><p>They eat dinner by their porch, famished from swimming and he pulls out a tiny box from behind him. </p><p>"It's not much, I didn't have the time, and the selection, but you did mention wanting to learn how to make your own calligraphy."</p><p>The box was old, and recently dusted, and the initials B-O-S engraved on it. Inside were felt tips and ink pots and paper. </p><p>"I'll do better next year." And she feels his embarrassment through the bond and so she opens her own end, letting her heavily guarded feelings trickle through, from her and to him and his head snaps up at her delight, as she launches herself into his lap and hugs him close. </p><p>"It's the best birthday I ever had Ben."</p><p>And she feels his heart ache, and the resolve and his arms wrap tighter around her. "I'll do better next year sweetheart. You're not alone now."</p><p>He says it with such resolve that she lays her cheek on his chest, and lets the bond open, for just a little longer, just so he knows it's there when she whispers back - neither are you.</p><p>---</p><p>But of course, all good things come to an end. </p><p>On their first year in Varykino, they awake to royal guards on their lawn. </p><p>Prince Ben Solo is asked to report back to the Imperial Palace. </p><p>Empress Dark Leicht, formerly Princess Leia Organa, general and senator, had suffered from a heart attack. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Of course we know Leia lives to tell the tale, but she did, after this point, step down from the throne and let her son manage things.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Don't Ever Become A Stranger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year Of The Galactic Reign Of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order</strong>
</p><p>His wife's birthday was a surprise he planned all on his own. </p><p>She managed most other state affairs, even now, this early is handling the details for the annual Life Day ball and gala held at the palace. So he takes over her, for this day. This was her special day. Her twenty-fifth. He wanted everything perfect. </p><p>"Mom, did you get the crystals?"</p><p>"Yes, Ben, I did."</p><p>His wife, ever the scholar, had a long standing fascination with Kyber crystals, though her grandfather had destroyed Ileum, the planet from whence they came. She wanted to improve her lightsaber, finding the opening and closing snap of the blades cumbersome, preferring instead to have a longer saber point to work as a staff. </p><p>For that she needed more crystals. </p><p>"And you made sure Uncle Luke is coming?" Rey had an attachment to his uncle, so if she wants him here, then he damn well will be here, nevermind the annoying porgs he keeps company in his island these days. </p><p>The Jedi schools were running well, and his Uncle chose to retire and live a quiet life with his blue milk straight from the source. </p><p>He still shudders at the memory, though remembering with fondness how much Rey loved Ahch-To. </p><p>"Your gift will never win over mine, kid."</p><p>His dad help out the golden dice that had won him the Falcon from long ago. Ben's eyes widens. "You're giving Rey the Falcon?"</p><p>"Kid's tinkered with it all her life. She might as well have use for it."</p><p>Ben smiles at his father, understanding him. There was no one to give Rey any family heirloom. When she married him she took everything he was. Officially she was Rey Solo, Empress Kira Ren. </p><p>Han squirms as Ben gives in to the emotion, brought about by his beloved wife and wraps his father in a hug. </p><p>"She'll love it."</p><p>---</p><p>But of course, things cannot go fully according to Ben's plan. </p><p>On the morning of her birthday, her mouth still alive and electric from her husband's enthusiastic morning kiss - Gwendolyn Phasma walks into her reception room for her morning calls. </p><p>"Captain Gwendolyn Phasma of the Galactic Fleet. Please bow before Her Imperial Highness Kira Ren, Empress of the Known Galaxy, Princess of Alderaan and Duchess of Naboo."</p><p>Captain Phasma bends to her knees in a formal bow, and Rey almost wishes to leave her there. I am his wife. I am his empress. You bow before me. </p><p>But she squashes the dark niggling thought, because she is also his friend, and his family, and she wishes him every happiness. </p><p>"Rise, Captain Phasma. Sorry for the pomp."</p><p>"It is alright, your Imperial Highness." She says with grace, once again standing up to her full height, the glint of the galactic armor warm and dazzling against her height. </p><p>"You wished to speak to me, Captain?"</p><p>"I wish to speak to you of Ben."</p><p>Irritation flashes at her eyes. Only family were allowed to use their names. "The Emperor Kylo Ren you mean?"</p><p>Phasma's neutral expression turns into a frown. </p><p>"So you do hold regard for him."</p><p>Rey schools her features once more. You are his friend. His family. You are to be happy for him. </p><p>"He is my emperor, my husband, and my friend. I do hold every regard for his happiness."</p><p>"And if he were to say his happiness is me, then what will you do Empress Ren?"</p><p>"Let him go."</p><p>The answer was instantaneous, one that bears no thought, because she would. All her life, spent loving him, and all she ever truly wanted, was for Ben to be happy. To always smile. To keep that bloody dimple on his face. </p><p>And even if it meant trampling her own heart to do it, she would. </p><p>In a heart beat. </p><p>Because he was hers. </p><p>"You hold him, Empress. Much more than you think. You have influence over him, and he trusts your counsel more than he trusts anyone. He values you above anyone and if you were to tell him to stay, he would. If you were to tell him to leave me, he would. You know this. And I beg of you, please, don't hold him. Please let him be happy."</p><p>All her anger, all her bitterness, all her rage dwindles down. Here was a woman, who loves him as much as she did. And how can she fault her for it?</p><p>"He only ever loved you." The truth a knife to her heart as she rises and takes Phasma's hand. "All these years he only ever loved you."</p><p>---</p><p>"Why are you sad, sweetheart?"</p><p>His hands brush over her cheeks, lifting her face up to him, and he rests his forehead over hers and skims his mouth over her lips. </p><p>His new version of his favorite forehead kiss. </p><p>All his kisses seem to be redirected to her mouth these days. </p><p>She lets him warm her lips, lets herself sink into his kiss, before she wraps her hands around his wrists, let's herself be comforted, let's herself pretend. My husband, my Ben. Just mine. She breathes him in, a second, two, the space of a heartbeat before she lets go and breaks away from his kiss. </p><p>He lets out what sounds like a low growl and his fingers tighten on her head and she's being pulled back to his lips. </p><p>"Be-"</p><p>His name was swallowed when she gasps as he hauls her up from her chair, and into his lap arms tightening around her, lips pressing more intently against her mouth. </p><p>With a groan she gives in. </p><p>---</p><p>Ben doesn't understand how one woman can take over his entire life in the span of a week. </p><p>Since he kissed her, one week ago, since they agreed to this arrangement, her kisses are all he thinks about. </p><p>He looks forward to the mornings, waking before the sun is up, to prepare, brush his teeth, await for her in the breakfast room. </p><p>Does she know? Does she know how fascinated he is with her mouth? How he almost groans when she bites on it while she's thinking, or how it spreads wide when she's laughing at something he said?</p><p>She paints it red now, red for the winter, to give some color, according to Rose. Those red lips are in his every dream, his every fantasy. At night, he's desperate to sleep and those lips haunt him, against his skin, wrapped around him... and he feels himself harden under her, and the little groans she's releasing.</p><p>He couldn't work. Desperate to go back, to be at dinner, for it to be bedtime and he can kiss her a little longer, against her door, as she says goodnight. </p><p>And then he can imagine, he can imagine all the things he can do for her, to her, on her, when her door is open to him, and he would spend the night with her. </p><p>Ten years. </p><p>Ten years it has been since they were married. </p><p>She suggested that they don't touch for five, but he was so sure, so sure he'd never want anyone else other than Gwen. </p><p>How wrong was he. </p><p>When did it first start, he wonders. </p><p>When did he first think of his wife this way?</p><p>When she trained with him in Varykino, for sure. </p><p>But the first he truly remembers, was the trip they took to Ahch-To, together. </p><p>And lust has a way of growing undetected. Where he thought was just a seed, rooted, deep in his gut, his loins, his heart, and now that he once again looked at his obvious want for his wife, he was surprised, and resigned at the jungle that grew from one tiny seed. </p><p>He was mad for her, desperately mad for her, and he doesn't understand it. </p><p>Her very scent haunts him that he started using her soap, just to carry the scent of her skin on his. Kira flowers. Tiny Kira flowers. </p><p>"Master Luke Skywalker, of the Jedi Order."</p><p>They hear the pronouncement outside their door and it was like a douse of cold water over Ben. He blinks his eyes open, and there, wrapped around him, mouth bruised from his kiss, eyes blinking up at him, and lipstick smeared was his poor wife, who he had accosted. </p><p>She blinked up at him, a strangled noise bursting forth from her throat and he grins, straightening her up. </p><p>"Sweetheart."</p><p>"Your uncle. Right, right."</p><p>She stares at him one more time before the fiercest smile breaks from her lips and she surges up to kiss him once more, short, harsh before dashing to her vanity. </p><p>He chuckles and motions to open his door. </p><p>"Letting your uncle wait is not such a good thing Ben."</p><p>"Uncle Luke, it's been exactly a year, where have you been?"</p><p>He hugs his Uncle and pats his back and breaks away, about to ask his uncle his recent woes about the porgs when his eyes catch something beside his uncle. </p><p>Dark Skin, the rough worn robes of a Jedi Knight, with the white band around his waist to signify his designation as healer. </p><p>Then his eyes raise rapidly to his face, a face he has seen once, and only once, a face he has never forgotten. He has wondered where he had been, in ten years, not paying respects to the empress he helped escape, the empress he led to Luke Skywalker. And yet ten years and here he is. </p><p>His blood boils, how dare he be here. </p><p>Luke senses his tension and draws back, confusion marring his features, and he turns and meets the eyes of his former padawan. "Finn, do you know my nephew."</p><p>"I haven't had the pleasure Master, I was off-world for long..."</p><p>Ben all but growls at his voice, at the lilting accent he shares with his wife, having grown up in the same ship together. </p><p>This man, who knew of his wife before he did. </p><p>This man, who his wife loved. </p><p>"The Empress is not ready. You both will leave, and we will see you downstairs."</p><p>Luke's brow furrows and he pushes past Ben. </p><p>"No, Finn's an old friend. He's the one who brought Rey to me, she hasn't seen him in ten years" </p><p>Ben quickly swivels around determined to bodily haul his uncle out of this room, with <em>Finn</em>. </p><p>Rey cannot see him. Rey definitely cannot see him-</p><p>"Finn?"</p><p>He freezes and looks up to see his empress, in the lovely red silk that she wore, with one arm covered and the other left bare, her dark crsytalline crown on her head to match his, and her eyes painted a bold, bright red, was looking behind him to the doorway, with an expression that can only be described as absolute glee. </p><p>His heart drops to his stomach, as he watches his wife run, in her barefeet, to the door, and into <em>Finn's </em>arms. </p><p>Rage, unprecedented and unbridled fills him, as he sees his wife, in the arms of another man, as she laughs her disbelief and repeats his name in her wondered tone. </p><p>"Hi peanut."</p><p>And this cretin buries his face in his wife's neck, and he loses it. </p><p>The bond blasts wide open, as the Force around him trembles and Rey immediately breaks from Finn to turn to him, his emotions blasting her, and he vaguely hears his uncle screaming his name. </p><p>And he can't hear anything, can't see anything, but the burning bright locus of his anger, and his rage, and his desire to destroy Finn until a hand, wraps around his wrist, and lips press against his ear. </p><p>"Ben, let him go."</p><p>He blinks and suddenly he can breathe again, and the raging inferno stops in his ears, and he gasps, and Finn, his wife's fellow, drops the three feet from the ground where he raised him up in a Force choke.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this story has been a plague in my head, and there's so much I want to get on paper my fingers can't type fast enough and wow is this mania?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Coronation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The First Year Of The Galactic Reign Of Emperor Kylo Ren</strong>
</p><p>"They will be wily. The Croluttes are known to be evasive to mind tricks!"</p><p>3PO's voice chirped from beside him and honestly he wants to roll in a ball and cry. </p><p>He had ten more years, before his mother was supposed to retire. </p><p>He was twenty five, what did he know of being emperor of the entire galaxy? But his mom had collapsed, and he was the big hulking son, with a young wife. With him the reign is much more secure. </p><p>His mother's advisers wanted him on the throne and fast. He wasn't sure, until he saw the truth in his uncle's eyes. </p><p>He needed to, even if he wasn't sure. </p><p>"Of course, nothing really comes easy to us." </p><p>He sighs, resting his head on his forearms, his mother's countless papers before him. </p><p>"Master Ben, you cannot simply give up, there are sixteen more systems-"</p><p>"Yes, thank you 3PO. Master Ben knows, and will get back to those systems, as soon as he eats his lunch."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Leave 3PO."</p><p>She firmly kicked the droid out of his room despite it's protestations and plopped a plate in front of him. It had a sorry looking sandwich, and soup. </p><p>He frowned at it before raising his eyes back up at her. </p><p>"It's your favorite, don't even look at me like that. I know your weakness for smelly cheese."</p><p>She lifts the sandwich to his lips and he takes a lazy bite from it, still head down over his own desk with his fifty thousand papers scattered all around him. </p><p>"Baby. You are such a baby." But he feels her amusement through the bond, and it was nice, to not be alone while facing this. He feels her hands hesitate, through this still fragile bond in between them, and before he knows it, he reaches out to her free hand and plops it down on his own hair. </p><p>She feels the smile in her, the warmth of it in the way her fingers tangle in his hair and massage his scalp. </p><p>How pitiful he must be - the emperor of the known galaxy, his head slumped down, being hand fed a sandwich by his own wife. </p><p>"I have to face the Parliament. And I know I will be eaten alive."</p><p>"Yes, you will. Unless we play the game."</p><p>He groans and she sighs, feeding him the last of his sandwich as he closes her eyes and almost sleeps at his petting of his hair. </p><p>"When was the last time you slept, Ben?"</p><p>He had been with his mother in the hospital, and then with her to Corellia where she wished to recuperate. And then he was locked up in this room for the past three days. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked thin and gaunt. </p><p>"I don't know." </p><p>"Here's what we'll do, you will take a nap, and then you and I will figure this out."</p><p>Ben blinks up at her and she smiles. "I am your wife. And I was trained to be Supreme Leader. I can help."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"You're not alone, Ben."</p><p>She echoes the same words to him, words he had spoken to her, and he feels the pressure of the past few days spew to him and finally he's tearing and sobbing and her hands are against his face, wiping away at his tears. </p><p>"I was afraid. So afraid. My mom's too young, I'm not ready."</p><p>"I know. I know sweetheart."</p><p>"Rey, I'm glad it's you."</p><p>She smiles at him, and it felt like a sunbeam shining through their bond.</p><p>So he sleeps with her soothing voice in his mind, and maybe he holds on to her a little longer. </p><p>---</p><p>His wife had divided the galaxy into four piles. Core Worlds, Western Reaches, Mid Rim and Outer Rim. </p><p>He took over for the Core Worlds and Outer Rim. </p><p>She was much more familiar with the Western and Mid-Rims. </p><p>They break the Parliament up, no doubt disrupting whatever plan there is to be had, amongst them, meeting each segment individually. </p><p>And then they get to their biggest problem. </p><p>"Allegiant General Pryde handles the First Order. Leia had planned to let him remain as Supreme Leader, now that he has pledged fealty to the crown. But I don't think it's wise. The First Order will control majority of the crown's troops. And Pryde has much to lose if he betrays the crown, but who's to say he won't do it eventually when the odds even out for him."</p><p>"You want us to control the military ourselves." </p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Parliament won't vote for a Palpatine to be Supreme Leader."</p><p>"Oh they won't. But they will vote for an Organa-Solo."</p><p>Ben shakes his head. "I will be emperor, I would have absolute power-"</p><p>"Unless they think they can manipulate you."</p><p>Ben's eyes gleamed. A double-cross. So like his mother who fully embraced her dark Force when dealing with certain aspects of politics. </p><p>"How?"</p><p>So they plotted. Empress Rey would wish to relinquish control, for atonement, and then she'd ask Parliament to vote for a Supreme Leader then and there. No one in Parliament trusts each other, so they would latch on to the most impressionable person in the room - him. They don't know about Emperor Kylo Ren. He was with his father most of his life before returning to marry Rey. </p><p>They think him a scoundrel and and a smuggler who will be easy to manipulate. </p><p>And so they start plotting, meeting with the ministers from each region, according to the quadrants Rey had designed, slowly pushing their plans, playing the tag team role of Emperor Kylo Ren pushing for something ridiculous and Empress Rey tempering his requests with something more docile - the something that they really wanted. </p><p>It was working beautifully, and on the night before they were to meet parliament, sprawled out on their office, their dinner haphazardly spread on their shared conference table that they converted into a dining table, his knees knocking into hers as they eat, he reaches a hand out to her. </p><p>"We have to think of your name."</p><p>"My name?"</p><p>"Well... they've been addressing you as Rey."</p><p>Her brow furrows and she motions to herself. </p><p>"My name is Rey."</p><p>"Only family can call you that. You know... Royal protocol. Your name is to be spoken only by your most intimate acquaintances."</p><p>She smiled at that, liking her belonging with him. Liking that he's her family. And she was his. And they belong to each other. </p><p>"Well... how did you come up with your Emperor name?"</p><p>Ben flushes, the tips of his ears turning red. </p><p>"My uncle gave it to me. He was... drunk on Corellian whiskey, with my father. It... sort of stuck. Here, let me show you-"</p><p>It was new, part of their training to tame the bond, and convenient for when they have to convene Parliament, they can open their minds and send memories to each other, to help them whenever there are people they have to speak to. </p><p>And she sees him, little Ben with the too large ears, being knighted by his wobbly uncle, with his lightsaber as Kylo Ren - from Skywalker-Solo Ben. His mother had been furious, but Ben liked the name, and the way he was knighted with it. Like he was a hero, with a second name. </p><p>And she giggles, reaching up to ruffle Ben's hair. "Aww, you were so cute."</p><p>"Anyway-" Ben says, swatting her hands away. "You need a name. You can't be Empress Rey."</p><p>"You give me my name."</p><p>"Come on Rey, just choose-"</p><p>"I want the name you'll give me."</p><p>She meant it as a joke, a tease, to see if he can come up with something as silly as Kylo. </p><p>"Kira."</p><p>He whispers in a breath, his eyes locking on hers. </p><p>Her breath whooshes out of her lungs and she stands there, suspended in his stare. He's so lovely. She thinks. He's so lovely, and kind, and warm and funny, and how can she not love him?</p><p>How can she not love the man who would do this so his sick mother won't have to worry. </p><p>How can she not love the man who looked at her and named her beloved?</p><p>"But Kira is my name - Reyna Kira-"</p><p>"You married me as Rey. And that's who you are."</p><p>Oh. Of course. Of course he knows. Of course he felt it through their bond. Of course he understood. </p><p>"Rey Solo. That's who you are now. To me. To our family. That is your name. Your legacy. What it mine is yours."</p><p>And just like that, the burden, of her name, of her shame is lifted. She was Rey Solo. She had family now, she wasn't alone. </p><p>"Ben."</p><p>He panics at the tears in her eyes, inching closer to her, and cupping her cheeks in his hands, kissing her forehead. </p><p>"Don't cry sweetheart, if you don't like it we can change it-"</p><p>"Do you know, what Kira flowers mean?"</p><p>He tugs her forward so she's rested against his chest and he rubs her back up and down, still so wary of her tears. </p><p>"You said they're meant to remove all poisons, meant to clear the mind."</p><p>"That's their purpose yes. But when you give someone Kira flowers, it means you are beloved."</p><p>Ben hums at that, holding her close. "Then it fits. You are loved, Rey. By all of us. You're our family now."</p><p>And for a second she allows herself to hope, they were friends, he trusted her, he allowed her confidences he never gave anyone else. He named her his Beloved. </p><p>Kira Ren. Ren's beloved. </p><p>And her heart soared in her chest. </p><p>She swore, she swore to let her feelings die, to not think too much of it. </p><p>But as long as Ben holds her in his arms like this - she will never stop loving him. </p><p>And never stop hoping.</p><p>---</p><p>He was elected Supreme Leader by a unanimous vote in Parliament. Most of the reforms they have submitted to each region already implemented. Parliament loved him as an Emperor, more beloved than his mother. They say it's because he's tempered by an Empress, in the way that the former Empress had power all to herself. </p><p>Her counsel was sought out, requested, a surefire way to get her husband to listen, but they quickly disabused that notion. She would no longer be seen as a meek empress, tempering her husband's temper. She was named regent over the Mid-Rim and Western Reaches, though those from Core and Outer regions still requested her counsel before appealing to the emperor. </p><p>And their child was most awaited. </p><p>As they neared the end of their first year, Leia Organa was now healthy enough to travel here and there once more, and she officially declared the need for a coronation ball. </p><p>At this point in time she also heard of her husband's first attempt at wooing a mistress. </p><p>Her name was Lady Bazine Netal, the wife of a Lord from one of the Core Worlds. </p><p>Hurt lanced through her chest, like a fiery saber, and she spent most of her morning dismantling a droid. </p><p>But this was their agreement. He was free to live the life of a bachelor, and she knows, that there are days he aches for her, for Gwen Phasma who was still in the Outer Rims, fulfilling her tour. </p><p>Of course, she was wrong to hope that Ben would ever have feelings for her. He made it clear and known, and part of the reason why they were even together was because he thought she understood. </p><p>In many ways she understood quite well. She, like him would never be with the person she truly loved, and how cruel, how cruel fate must be. </p><p>"Is anything wrong, Empress Kira?"</p><p>Rose refuses to use her birth name, saying she is more comfortable with the name her husband had given her, but Rose was her dearest and truest friend. </p><p>"Do I wear it on my sleeve then Rose?"</p><p>Rose enfolded her in her arms, and to her surprise she smells like her name, comfort and love. </p><p>"It is visible for us who know you so well, Rey."</p><p>She tears at the use of her name, and she wraps her arms around her only friend and cries her heart out. </p><p>Rose soothes her, and calms her, and rocks her as the tears, the anger, the hurt wracks her body. </p><p>"There, there, let it all out."</p><p>"He.. he doesn't... he can't see me... Rose."</p><p>She wails again, the reality of her unrequited love weighing down on her the night of her coronation. </p><p>"He will. He will see you. He has no choice but to. He's just used to having you so near, it's easy to overlook. But he will see you."</p><p>"Will he?"</p><p>She sniffles and Rose nods. "He cares for you very deeply."</p><p>"But he doesn't love me."</p><p>"Maybe he doesn't know it yet. Maybe we should push him to know."</p><p>---</p><p>His mother would crown him first, and so he's been whisked away to do his preparations. To meet with his mother, pick out his robes, his scepter, his crown and his ring. </p><p>He hasn't seen his wife in two days. Not since he's seen her receive the missive of Bazine Netal's arrival at the palace, and the way she confronted him about it. </p><p>"Dear husband, I have news that you will abed the Lady Bazine."</p><p>He almost choked on his tea but Rey simply smiled at him. "Not her, sweetheart. She'll drag you to the coals afterwards."</p><p>That had been her only statement and then she proceeded to be locked away from him to prepare for her own coronation. </p><p>He hasn't seen her in two days, and her side of the bond is quiet, and closed. He was afraid to knock on it. </p><p>He hears her in her quarters, preparing with Rose, but he hasn't dared to knock. He turned his head this way and that looking for her, but she hasn't arrived to the throne hall. </p><p>Armitage elbows him at his side. "Your wife will come later, focus."</p><p>There was a small smirk in his lips and Ben frowns. </p><p>"You've heard from Rose?"</p><p>"Rose is determined to make her the most beautiful Empress the kingdom has ever seen. But hurry along now, 3PO will announce you."</p><p>"Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo, Prince of Alderaan."</p><p>The doors opened and to their feet rose the entire court of the galaxy. Everyone who was anyone was here. </p><p>He walked through them, and to his mother, who was stood with her own crown on her head, his father beside her in his military regalia. General Han Solo did not look pleased to be there, and Ben's lips quirk at his obvious displeasure. His father catches it and he gives a shuddering smile and a sigh. </p><p>"Kneel, Prince Benjamin."</p><p>He kneels in front of his mother, who was smiling as she looked upon him. </p><p>"On your shoulders, we place this cape, the weight of the galaxy."</p><p>Armitage carries the cape to him, long and dark black, and laid it on his shoulders. </p><p>"On your fingers the ring, of house Solo, your birth roots."</p><p>His father kneels before him and places a ring on his fingers, and pats him on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you my son."</p><p>He smiles, and grips the hand his father placed against his cheek, nodding at him. </p><p>His mother was misty eyed when she raised his crown, a simple dark circlet made from black kyber crystals that would settle on his head. </p><p>"I crown you Kylo Ren, Emperor of the Known Galaxy, Supreme Leader of the First Order. Rise."</p><p>He does and kisses his mother's hands, before turning to his people and their chants of "Long may he reign!"</p><p>And then he catches sight of her. </p><p>She was watching with a wide smile on her face, and she was poured into dark armor that mirrored his own, except it left her arms bare. Wrapped in her old Jedi bindings, of a deep black that seemed to absorb all light. Her legs, long and trim were encased in dark leather, to mirror his, and her hair, free from it's usual three buns, with only one complicated knot twist around the top curled around her face, bare of any paint. </p><p>And his cape, the one he used for his appearances before, wrapped around her shoulders. </p><p>She looked every bit the warrior, every bit the Jedi who killed Snoke with one fell swoop. </p><p>Her lightsaber was attached to her hip, the double connecting edges glinting in her belt. </p><p>No wilting Kira flower, his wife. A warrior, a most beloved one. </p><p>He reaches out a hand for her, and with a smile, she rises and walks to him, and takes his hand. Wrapping her dainty fingers around his. </p><p>He knows it's against protocol, but she remembers how his uncle gave him his name, her joy in it. </p><p>And she deserved every bit of it. </p><p>She kneels before him, expecting her coronation, but he shakes his head at his mother when she hands him the crown. </p><p>Rey looks up at him in confusion as he takes out his own lightsaber, igniting the cross guard. The sudden flash of violent red shocks the crowd, but Rey looks at him, and at his eyes, and makes him smile.</p><p>"There is passion, yet peace."</p><p>Luke gasps beside him, as he hovers his saber over one of Rey's shoulders. </p><p>"There is serenity, yet emotion"</p><p>Crosses over to her other side. </p><p>"There is order in chaos."</p><p>"And through it all a balance in the Force. Arise, Kira, a Knight of Ren."</p><p>She rises and surges into his arms and he laughs, astounding the entirety of the realm. </p><p>There were only two knights of Ren. Him, and his wife. And it was the way it should.  </p><p>"In my defense, that order was created when I was drunk on Corellian whiskey." Luke drily commented from the sidelines causing even more amused chuckles from the watching crowd.</p><p>Lady Kira Ren, knelt again in front of her husband, as his amused mother handed him the crown. "I, Kylo Ren, Emperor of the Known Galaxy and Supreme Leader of the First Order, crown you, Rey Solo, Princess of Alderaan, a Knight of Ren. Arise, Kira Ren, Empress of the Known Galaxy."</p><p>The booming cheers that met her warmed her heart. As Ben wrapped an arm around her and together they faced their people. </p><p>"Rey Solo, hmm" his father whispers into his ears later. And Ben flushes. She was his wife, before she was Empress of the realm. It was her name, a name she wanted to take. His name. </p><p>There was enough of his father in him to delight in that.</p><p>---</p><p>Rey saw him approach Bazine for a dance, and tries not to shatter anything in her grief. A friend. Family. That's what they were to each other. And a friend who is family would want happiness for each other. So she turns to Leia, and smiles through the whole ordeal, even though Bazine ends up sending her a smug smirk from below the banquet table. </p><p>"Did she just do what I think she just did to you?"</p><p>Ben appeared by her side, a perturbed look on his face. </p><p>She shrugs as he takes his seat next to her. "I told you, she'd drag us both to the coals. Bazine wants nothing more than something to lord over people."</p><p>"Well. She will definitely not lord me over you."</p><p>Ben's eyes grew dark and stormy and she laughs. Here, now. Here was her friend. Here was her Ben. </p><p>"Whatever will you do?"</p><p>"I shall never sleep with her. Ever."</p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>"No. I won't ever keep abed with someone who dares to treat my wife, and her Empress that way. Come. You and I will dance, to show her the error of her ways."</p><p>"Ben!" She laughs as he tugs her up with him. "You can't dance with your own wife, you know it is against protocol."</p><p>"Then let them sue me, I'm sure the Emperor of the realm will agree with my wishes."</p><p>She laughs again, enjoying the way he twirled her into his arms, enjoying the way the laughter finally returns to his eyes, after all the year that they spent stabilizing his rule. </p><p>He pulls her much closer than he ought to for a standard dance, and his hands wander far lower than they meant. </p><p>"I meant to tell you, my compliments go to Rose. You were formidable there Sweetheart. A true empress. A warrior-queen."</p><p>She flushes, and thrills at the way he held her, the way their bodies moved together, and Ben leans down to sniff at her neck. </p><p>"You smell good, what perfume is that."</p><p>She sighs and relaxes into his arms, barely even dancing, only swaying with him at this point. </p><p>She liked holding her husband, as much as he seems to like holding her. </p><p>"I don't wear perfume. Must be the soap."</p><p>"Smells good."</p><p>She was almost drugged, almost tempted to fall asleep, but she catches sight of Bazine in her peripheral vision and she giggles, reaching up to wrap her arms around Ben's neck. </p><p>"Don't look but Bazine is absolutely fuming right now. She just snapped at someone beside her."</p><p>Ben smiles against her neck, and she realizes he's still buried there, and his arms tighten around her waist. </p><p>"Then let's keep dancing, until she tugs all her hair off."</p><p>"She won't do that, she loves her hair too much."</p><p>"Well until she tugs someone else's hair off."</p><p>Ben holds her through it all, telling lewd jokes in her ear making her laugh and giggle, until Bazine grew redder and redder and she turns and quickly leaves. </p><p>"Oh Gods, she left, Ben, she left!"</p><p>She laughs, as Ben finally gets out from her neck and twirls her. "Well, let's keep dancing before they say we only did it to drive her away."</p><p>They end up dancing for the rest of the night. </p><p>And Ben Solo finds that he likes to hold his wife. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong>The Second Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order</strong>
</p><p>Three weeks after their coronation, he was already scanning reports of an outlaw insurgence in the Outer Rim, that would need some attention. And they really needed to settle the new trooper uniform. His wife wants their faces revealed, for sign ups to be voluntary. </p><p>"Rey, have you gotten a chance to look at the new design for the trooper uniform?"</p><p>She looks up distractedly, toast hanging from her mouth, she has some issues with the slavery laws in the Western Reaches, and she's thinking a visit is inevitable. </p><p>"Uh... give it to Rose, I'll do it after this meeting. I think we have to put pressure on the slavers, they're refusing all our regulations-"</p><p>She mutters as she switches from her data pad to her commlink, rising and swallowing the last of her toast. </p><p>"But you haven't eaten much-"</p><p>"I'll catch you for lunch, I do have to do this."</p><p>Then absently her eyes still on her commlink, she bends down to kiss Ben's cheek, muttering to herself as she rises, and walks, freezing three steps in. </p><p>"Ben, oh, I mean, I see your mother do it-"</p><p>But there, where she kissed him, was the wink of his dimples, grinning sunnily at her, as his hand raises up to trace his cheek. </p><p>"I'll see you later, sweetheart."</p><p>She blushes and nods, her heart galloping in her chest. </p><p>Ben has never let her leave him in the mornings and in the evenings without kissing him good bye. </p><p>The trooper uniform ends up being a bright canary yellow, it was delivered for the first three thousand troopers before Ben thought to double check his commlink. </p><p>As the secretary of treasury berated him, and his team, he can't help but smile remembering the first time his wife kissed him. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong>The Third Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>"Why is your mood so foul?"</p><p>Han kicks at his foot as he glares at his holo-comm, sitting in their quiet Corellia cottage. </p><p>Armitage sniggers from beside him and gestures to the holo. </p><p>"His wife has not called him yet."</p><p>Han's brows lift as Ben growls at Armitage, keeping his eyes focused on his communicator. </p><p>"Rey's in Jakku, the connection is horrible."</p><p>Han kicks back on his seat as Luke takes the one across from him. "Ben has been sending her daily holos. Updates you know about Corellia."</p><p>"Yesterday he sent her one about the birds chirping in the forest." Armitage supplies and Han winces. </p><p>"Kid, tell me you didn't."</p><p>"Rey likes the birds here." He sullenly replied and Han groans. </p><p>"Whipped. I tell you."</p><p>"Leave the boy alone, he's sweet, unlike you."</p><p>Leia brushes a hand through his hair, and sits on her husband's lap who takes offense at the statement. "I'm sweet. I'm taking care of you aren't I?"</p><p>He wonders if the people here give a damn that he's emperor. </p><p>He supposes they don't. </p><p>Maybe that's why he loves them. As does Rey. </p><p>Gods he missed her. </p><p>They haven't been really apart since their coronation. They did most things together. </p><p>She hasn't called him in the morning. </p><p>"He's just pissed he doesn't get his morning kisses."</p><p>Armitage kicks his chair again and he turns to glare at his friend. </p><p>"What morning kisses?"</p><p>Ben's glare should have been warning to Armitage but they have been bosom friends from youth that the emperor does not scare him. </p><p>"Didn't you hear? He ordered three thousand canary yellow trooper uniforms. Poor folks that are traffic officers have to wear it. Genius here said it was because he wanteed them to be visible. The truth that I heard from the vine is his wife kissed his cheek, and this schmuck messed up the design on his holo pad. We're looking at three more years before we can justify phasing out the uniform. His wife felt so bad she kisses him now every morning before he leaves for his meetings, or she does. The maids positively swoon over it."</p><p>Three adults cooed at him over his romanticism but wasn't a man allowed to dote on his wife? Just then his commlink signals and he smiles when he sees Rey and he immediately stands to get privacy ignoring the hollers from his family. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Turning Saints Into The Sea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>Tonight was the night. </p><p>The consummation. </p><p>And well... Ben was mauling her out there, so she was right to hope, right? She was right to think this can go somewhere. </p><p>So thinking she steps out of her bathroom, determined to tell her husband before they do this that she has been in love with him for the past ten years, probably since the moment she first saw him when she sees Finn. </p><p>Finn had been a trooper assigned to her guard. He was nice, and funny and was a friend. </p><p>He became a brother to her, especially after he admitted he didn't like being a trooper, and that he wanted to defect from the Order. </p><p>When she killed Snoke he was the one who took her out, and took her to Master Skywalker who found him during one of the Jakku raids and brought him under his wing. </p><p>She hasn't seen him, in ten years, since she married. Something about him working in the Outer Rims, looking for some map with the galactic fleet pilot Poe Dameron - Kes' son. </p><p>She has also of course never met Poe. </p><p>Seeing Finn was like seeing someone from her past. A good someone. Someone she missed. </p><p>Finn was her only friend before having met Ben. </p><p>What she did not expect was Ben's rage, that was still, underneath all this, burning under his skin. </p><p>She knelt beside Finn, and helped him to a sitting position as he gasped for breath.</p><p>Knives poked her back and she grunted angrily at Ben. "Stop that Benjamin."</p><p>Luke's lip twitched but he went to Finn's other side, and made the young man lean on him. </p><p>"Kira." </p><p>There was danger in his voice, and despite her anger, she knows well enough that now is not the time to push him. </p><p>"Kira, get away from him. <em>Now.</em>"</p><p>He never used her empress name, not even when they had major diagreements on the Hosnian Prime agreements. </p><p>Was it so wrong that she was so angry and yet also so aroused? She'd love nothing more than to kiss that surly mouth, pressed into a thin line, and feel his anger... </p><p>Kriff. </p><p>What was she saying? </p><p>The Dark Side was still pulsing heavily in the room and it was clouding her judgment. </p><p>Ben felt a flicker of that through their bond, and his eyes darken, his pupils blowing, and his lips slacken, and curl into a smirk. </p><p>Damn this bond. Damn his ability to peek into her mind. </p><p>"Now, Kira."</p><p>So ignoring her better judgment she turns back to Finn. "Are you okay?"</p><p>His response was to wheeze that he was.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah I'm fun, pea-"</p><p>Finn stops himself and looks to the murderous Emperor before backpedalling. </p><p>"Empress Ren."</p><p>Rey laughs and runs her hands through Finn's hair, the way he did for her when she was sad, and she hears the keening growls that came from Ben, honestly what was wrong with him?</p><p>Ben, also, did not know what was wrong with him. </p><p>Seeing his wife on the ground, kneeling at this former Trooper made his so angry he wants to slash at everything that was inside this room. It was a boiling rage he didn't understand, he just knows he doesn't want his wife touching this person, wants him far, far, far away from his wife to a place where he can't take her away. </p><p>And that thought, was the one thought that got through the darkness still swirling inside of him. </p><p>He can take his Empress away. </p><p>She will be gone and he will never see her again, connected to her only by this mythical bond that bridges them through the stars. </p><p>But he doesn't want to be connected with her just through the Force bond. He wanted her here, with him, in the flesh and in the now, and this man is threatening that. This man can take her away. </p><p>And he would be damned if he let him. </p><p>He gathers his bearings, and shakes off the last fog of the anger that consumed him, before marching over to where his wife was crouched and gripping her hard and tugging her to his side. </p><p>"Ben!"</p><p>"An Empress, kneels for no one Kira."</p><p>"Are you kidding me, what is going on with you, you're acting crazy!"</p><p>Luke gets Finn to stand, and he does on shaky feet, and Ben turns to face him, keeping Rey's wrist in his own, despite her protestations. "I apologize. I thought you were attacking my wife."</p><p>Finn's jaw dropped and Luke threw his head back, looking to the ceiling. </p><p>"Are you kidding me? Luke just literally said I was her friend- yes, of course, I apologize Emperor Ren." Finn quickly says as the murder in Ben's eyes returns and he didn't definitely didn't want to be choked again. </p><p>"We have protocol on how to deal with the Empress. We are not to touch her, certainly not to hug her. I appreciate it, if you never approach my wife so familiarly ever again." There was a bite to his words, and Rey was still shoving at him with her hands but Ben only tightens his grip on her, shoving her to his back. </p><p>"Am I made clear, young Jedi?"</p><p>"Finn Storm, your Imperial Highness."</p><p>"Am I clear then, Finn Storm?"</p><p>He feels Luke shaking beside him and he only looks in confusion. "Yes... your imperial highness."</p><p>"Good. The next time you touch my wife, will be the last time you have hands. Kira. Come."</p><p>Ben drags her from their offices, and into his rooms, despite Rey tugging on his hand, and hissing out her protests. </p><p>---</p><p>"Why does Ben look like he ate something foul and is forced to smell the stench of his own vomit after retching it up?"</p><p>Armitage leans casually against the pillar and Rose turns her nose up at him inching farther away from him. </p><p>"Lady Tico, still afraid of me it seems."</p><p>"I want nothing to do with you."</p><p>"Ah, but that's not what you said, last night, when I had my hands inside of you."</p><p>Rose stiffens and turns to Armitage, slapping his face. "We agreed, as a gentleman you agreed never to speak of it!"</p><p>She hisses and Armitage only smiles, reaching out to her bodies, to trail a hand down her breast. </p><p>"Yes, but I never agreed to not thinking about it, not imagining it..."</p><p>Rose shivers, and she had to admit she had been soaking wet the minute Armitage stepped behind her and she was assaulted with his scent, but this was Armitage Hux. </p><p>A vile womanizer. </p><p>She wanted nothing to do with him, or his hands, his extremely talented hands... </p><p>She shakes her head and disabuses herself of the notion. She was a game to him, and she hates herself for being so easily won. </p><p>"What do you want General Hux?"</p><p>He smiles, and lets it go for now, having bigger issues at hand. </p><p>"Ben. Why is he in such a sour mood? And our Empress Ren. She's usually very happy at this event, Ben does personally hand bake her cake you know. But right now she looks as if she wants to murder him..."</p><p>Rose grins at that, and points to where Luke was standing with a dark skinned Jedi Knight. </p><p>"That's Rey's old friend. Finn Storm. From the Dreadnaught. The guy who led her to Skywalker."</p><p>The pieces clink in Armitage's head and he grins, widely. </p><p>"And Ben is not happy."</p><p>Rose snorts and points to where their Emperor followed doggedly at his Empress' heels, who was studiously ignoring him. </p><p>"He choked the ever living hell out of the poor shmuck."</p><p>Armitage's laughter rings clear and true, and she hates that her heart, not her loins react to it, beating triple time inside her chest. </p><p>He had a lovely laugh, her Armitage. When he's not being snide or cruel, he was a deeply charming man. </p><p>She catches herself on the verge of a smile and quickly shakes her head. This is Armitage Hux, this man slept with more women than the Emperor ever did. She was a game to him, a fun game, something he couldn't catch, but once he did he will discard her. That was his play. She knew that. She knows that. She only wanted to know what it was like. That was her agreement. </p><p>This wasn't. </p><p>So saying she steels her heart, and turns away from him. </p><p>"Where are you going?"</p><p>"I'm rejoining the party."</p><p>"I think, Lady Tico, we have the chance to make it even more fun."</p><p>---</p><p>"Are you still angry at me?"</p><p>He asked as he took Rey into his arms and lead her to the dancefloor to open it for the rest of the party. </p><p>Rey was steadfastly looking at a point behind his shoulders, and he sighs, stopping to dance, ignoring the titters at his break in decorum to cup her cheek, and force her gaze to his. </p><p>"Rey, I'm sorry."</p><p>She softens, and her hands curl from his shoulder to his nape, and he smiles, softly and begins to bring her through the rest of the dance, as the music swells and other couples join them on the floor. </p><p>He presses his forehead against hers, and she closes her eyes, nuzzling against him. </p><p>"You choked my friend."</p><p>"I'm sorry, I just lost control."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>And that was the crux of the issue right? Why. Why did he feel such burning hatred for the man who saved his wife? Who brought her to him? Why was he so angry at this man?</p><p>
  <em>Because she loved him once. And loves him still. And you always wondered if the time came would she choose him or you.</em>
</p><p>"I... I thought he was attacking you." </p><p>"Luke said he was introduced to you. That you were trying to get him away."</p><p><em>From you. </em>He thinks. <em>I didn't want you to see him. I didn't want you to...</em></p><p>Be taken away from him, he realizes. </p><p>That's why he's so angry. He's afraid to lose her, and seeing her, with that man, made the fear real. </p><p>"You're my greatest friend Rey. I don't think I can bear it if I lose you."</p><p>Her eyes blink open. </p><p>"Friend."</p><p>"Yes. My empress. The fate of the galaxy on our hands. And what we have now is good, so good, I guess I was just afraid... that you'd leave me for him."</p><p>"Because then you'd lose a friend, and an empress and put the delicate balance of the galaxy at risk."</p><p>"Yes." </p><p>Ben smiles, as if finally putting a name to this unexplained cold and uncomfortable sensation that settled at his gut at the thought of Rey being with this man. </p><p>She on the other hand was shredding inside. So this is what all she was to him, friend and empress. A person to help keep the balance of the galaxy with him. She was a comfort, a convenience he had gotten used to and doesn't want to lose. She had hoped it was jealousy that drove him, the need to be the only one in her heart. </p><p>But it was of course, the galaxy in his mind. It was why he married her anyway. Why he was adamant to sire heirs with her, when he clearly loved another woman. Why he won't divorce her, and make Phasma Empress. He wanted the galaxy at peace, even if the price is himself. </p><p>Her heart breaks anew. How can fate be so cruel? To make her to love a man who can never love her, the same man who can never lose her. How wretched it is, to be loved and cherished for all the wrong reasons. To be loved only because you are needed. </p><p>How cruel it is that even through it all, she can't even bring herself to be angry at him, still thankful, still grateful that at least she has a reason to stay, here with him, in his arms?</p><p>How pathetic.</p><p>"Don't worry Ben. I will never step down from my role as Empress. I will always be by your side." Tears choke at her, because it was true, she can never leave him, even if she wanted to. Even if she breaks right here with him. Even as she worries that there will be nothing left of her. </p><p>He smiles, and she feels his relief shining through their bond. His walls were still down, and she can feel it all there, happiness that she is with him, regret for angering her, anger, still boiling and burning hot directed at Finn and his Uncle, fear, of losing her and underneath it all - a semblance of love. </p><p>For her. She was precious to him, she realizes, beloved and important and much part of his life as his very breath. </p><p>But for what reasons? </p><p>She was his beloved friend. A friend the universe made necessary for him. </p><p>She raises her own walls, determined to not let her emotions shine through, a shift, subtle, that had Ben lifting an eye at her. </p><p>"Rey-"</p><p>"It's nothing. You're crowding me with yours, it's okay, I know you can't block it yet. So I'll do it." Have to do it, because being here, with you, like this, is agony of the finest form. </p><p>---</p><p>"You stare at him as if he's the last cup of water on Jakku."</p><p>Her momentary reprieve at the refreshments table, to gather her thoughts after dancing with her husband, and he rejoined generals and other heads of state that he had to speak to. </p><p>"You mean the same way you look at my handmaiden Armie?"</p><p>Armitage slings an arm around her and rests his cheek on her head. </p><p>"We are a pathetic pair aren't we, my dear Empress."</p><p>"Careful. The last man who touched me almost had the air squeezed out of his lungs."</p><p>"So I've heard, interesting, is it not?"</p><p>Armie's brow raises as he chuckles into his cup. Her brows furrow, something was up. </p><p>"Rey. Would you like to conduct a little experiment? In the name of science. Let's call it, How to Get Rid of Captain Phasma."</p><p>She breaks away from Armie's arm and turns to stare at her dear friend as he grinned at her.</p><p>"What are you up to?"</p><p>"Ben is confused, I'd like to enlighten him. In the name of science. Of course." Armitage smiles, and she knows that smile, it is the very same one he had when he placed random shit underneath Ben's pillow ever Halloween, knowing her husband startles easy at things that don't grow in the sterile cities and palaces he has lived in all his life. </p><p>"Armie what have you done?"</p><p>She fears this, knows Ben is already at breaking point with Finn being here. </p><p>"Ben's very territorial of you, that goes without saying."</p><p>Because I am essential, she thinks. Because I am needed. Because without me he would not be emperor. </p><p>But she nods nevertheless. </p><p>"You ever wonder why?"</p><p>"I know why." The same pattern, his feelings, batter at her until her heart was nothing but pulp and she was angry at fate again. "Armie, I wish to never discuss this again-"</p><p>"You don't know why. And neither does he. He's an idiot. You both are. But that's why you have me. Look. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, no harm, no foul. But Rey. What if I'm right?"</p><p>And because she's a stupid girl, a stupid girl in love, one who despite all the knowledge, and everything Ben said, and everything he had felt, she still held out the hope that maybe, maybe - he did like her in that way. Maybe. Somehow, some way-</p><p>"We'll try it once. And if nothing happens... then... nothing, okay?"</p><p>"Okay. Leave it to me."</p><p>---</p><p>The last carriages for her ball was leaving and Ben was at his usual post by the door, sending well wishers on their merry way. </p><p>Ben spies the Jedi Knight, the one his wife loves, and seethes as he gets on his Uncle's speeder. </p><p>"It was a lovely party as usual, Ben."</p><p>His mother wraps a hand around his arm and he bends so she can press a kiss to his cheek. "She was happy with it. We raised enough money for her project on Hosnian Prime."</p><p>"Did you give her the crystals yet?"</p><p>"No. Later. After... with her.. with uncle's apprentice coming I didn't get the chance."</p><p>"Ah yes, young Finn. He's good friends with Kes' son. They'll be invited to Corellia next week."</p><p>He feels it, the familiar thrum of fear and anger in his blood. This man will be around his wife. He was entrenched in her life. His uncle's apprentice, a good friend of the Damerons who never skipped out on Corellian weekends. There was no way he and his wife can avoid him.</p><p>"Oh.. Rey and I might not make it to Corellia. We have... pressing issues to attend to. In the weekend."</p><p>Abed. He thinks. If he can keep her abed, sated and worn out... the mere thought of it ignites fire in his blood. </p><p>Yes. Yes. He won't let his wife see this man, and then it would be time for him to go back to the Outer Rim where he belongs. Far from his wife, far, far from his wife where he cannot take her, he will not let him take her. </p><p>"Ben."</p><p>His mother takes his fist, that was tightening on her hand, and sandwiches it between her two hands. </p><p>"I heard Gwen has returned home."</p><p>He blinks and of course his mother knows. Of course she does. </p><p>"She has."</p><p>"And that you plan to name her Emperor-Consort?"</p><p>He squirms under her stare. How do you explain to your mother your wish to have a concubine? How do you explain to her that this was a woman you loved all your life and you wanted her back-</p><p>"That's fine."</p><p>Fine? It's fine? How could she say that? He was going to be cheating on his wife. His precious wife that was daughter to her, and mentee, and friend. How could she say it's fine when his wife trusted her- and why was he so damned angry? Why when he was the one cheating on her in the first place? It was confusing. It was all too confusing and he shuts his eyes, missing the way Leia Organa's eyes sharpen into slits, the way it does when her prey is locked on her trap, hook, line and sinker. </p><p>"It's not uncommon for arranged couples to do so. I know Rey has become your friend throughout the years, and she has been beloved to me, like my own. But you're my son. And I know you have only married her for her name and the stability it would bring the empire and I have always faulted myself, for feeling like I sold you off, and hindered your true love. If it is Gwen you desire then by all means, you have more than fulfilled your duty to the crown. And besides, from what I hear from Luke, it's not like Rey minds. Not when she has her own consort to consider."</p><p>He was of course, slowly getting angry at his mother for speaking about Rey as if she were just prized cattle, as if he married her just because she was a Palpatine, and not because she's Rey. His beautiful, strong, kind, warm hearted, amazing wife and- what the <em>kriff </em> did she just say about Rey having a consort?</p><p>"Excuse me- what? Who the kriff is my wife taking as consort? And who the kriff told you about this?"</p><p>Leia catches Armitage's eyes from the sidelines and she grins. "Finn Storm, Luke's apprentice. Didn't you hear? He was the one who brought Rey to Luke, all those years ago, after Snoke. In fact, when she was surrendering to me, she mentioned to me that she would disappear, if I so wished it. She would renounce her name to the throne, renounce her claim to the First Order, and declare herself an exile. She wanted to marry the trooper, and they were planning to join your uncle. But I didn't trust her then. I thought she was going to use the Force to learn and then use it against us. If only I knew then that Rey was not like that, and meant to keep her word, I would have let her go, train with Luke and marry her lover. And maybe you don't have to go through this. I'm so sorry, Ben. I feel like I forced you both away from people you truly loved."</p><p>Leia almost cackles out loud when Ben grips his fists so tightly she could almost see his nails drawing blood from his skin. Behind him she saw the leaves of a beloved evergreen tree wither and die, and countless glasses shatter from the kitchen. </p><p>Armitage lets out a loud guffaw and Leia simply grins. </p><p>"My wife-" Ben bites out harshly, as the waves of anger roll through him again. Rey had wanted to leave, she had wanted to marry this man, and live with him. She never wanted him, never had a choice. He never would have even seen her, if he wasn't just so happened to be stopping by the palace that day. He wouldn't have met her, and known her. He would never have known the feel of her skin, the feel of her hands in his hair, the sound of her laughter and the feel of her curled up against him on a rainy day in Corellia. </p><p>He never would have known her, if his mother did not ask him to marry her, and the stark fear that it brought, that he could have missed his wife and gone on living his life without knowing she existed, without knowing <em>her, </em>that this one man Finn Storm meant the difference between this life he lead with his wife and a life without her. </p><p>And imagining it, a life without Rey, and morning kisses, and strolls in the garden when they both get fed up with work, and secret conversations in their heads, where even now, he can feel her throught the bond they share...</p><p>
  <em>Ben?</em>
</p><p>He seeks her and sees her standing with Armitage, and of course, of course he must be battering at her with his emotions, his walls stripped down before her. </p><p>
  <em>Sorry... sorry... I... Rey. Please don't ever leave me.</em>
</p><p><em>Of course I</em> won't. </p><p>And he feels it to, her vehemence, her reluctance to be parted and he is only partially soothed, he needs, he needs to feel her, know that she is here, in the now, with him, wrapped in her... never letting her go. </p><p>
  <em>Rey. Please let me touch you, tonight. Please.</em>
</p><p>She blushes at his request. And he feels the hot pulse of desire bloom through him. </p><p>
  <em>Okay.</em>
</p><p>Sated, worn out, wrapped around him. He won't let his wife even so much as be touched by Finn Storm ever again. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. It Was Rare, I Was There, I Remember It All Too Well</h2></a>
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    <p>
  <strong>The Sixth Year Of The Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>Ben didn't really have a particular schedule for when he gave her birthday presents. Much to the irritation of his mother and his father.</p><p>She welcomed it though, the random bursts of presents and trinkets that made her feel as beloved as she possibly could be. </p><p>So on the sixth year of their marriage, and his sixth year on the throne, when she had a good deal of being 21 left, Ben walked into their adjoining office and plopped a kyber crystal on her desk. </p><p>She looked up at him and he grinned. </p><p>"My uncle's going off world, to trace some ancient Jedi Holocron. He invited us to his island. I figured you'd want to go, for your birthday."</p><p>"We're going to an island?"</p><p>"You said you never saw the ocean before. I always meant to bring you, but... we somehow never end up going to a planet with the ocean. You never know, when we both step down when our kid is ready to take his place, you and I might settle down in an ocean planet. Here, let me figure out the earliest time we can leave today..."</p><p>The thought of that, her with graying hair and Ben with his hair like Han's, with their ocean and their tiny cottage and their grandchildren running at their feet fills her with so much happiness. </p><p>"You'd want that? To stay with me even after all of this?"</p><p>Ben was still fixated on his data pad as he shucks his outer cape with difficulty that Rey rolled her eyes and stood to help him remove it. This was her favorite time of day, helping her husband disrobe, as if she were any other wife on the galaxy. </p><p>"Of course. Who else will know exactly how I want my caf? Who else will know how to remove my cape? I can't live without you Rey."</p><p>There was teasing in his eyes as he says it, as he settles into his seat, and tugs her in his lap. </p><p>This one was new, a habit he picked up when they were in Corellia, and his parents were doing it, and Rey was sitting far away from him and Armitage and Rose happened to tag along that week to the house, and there weren't enough chairs, and they were goaded into doing it by everyone. </p><p>Ever since then, even when they were alone, Ben would tumble her into his lap. </p><p>She didn't mind. </p><p>He was warm, and sturdy, and she liked being able to play with his hair. </p><p>Liked the way his arm thick and strong wrapped around her waist, and his head leaned on her breast. </p><p>"So you're keeping me with you so someone would get you caf and remove your coat? I didn't know I was so essential your Imperial Highness." </p><p>"You are the most essential thing to me, Rey. I honestly wouldn't know what I would do without you."</p><p>That made flowers bloom on her chest, and she happily played with his hair in content silence as he continued to finish his work so they both could leave today. </p><p>---</p><p>Ahch-To was beautiful. </p><p>Her face had been almost glued to the windows of Ben's TIE as soon as they hit Atmo. </p><p>She'd never seen so much blue before, in her life. </p><p>There were waves hitting the cliffs and she couldn't wait, couldn't wait to feel it. And as soon as Ben landed she was shooting out of the TIE and the sudden rush and woosh of the sea against her, had a smile breaking out of her face. </p><p>She felt balanced here, life and death, chaos and peace, and through it all the Force. </p><p>She trilled when she felt Ben connect with her in it, he was larger than life here, his Force signature all around her and she feels his satisfaction and being here, he loves this place. </p><p>"You've been here before."</p><p>"I trained, for a while with my uncle in here. Before, when Snoke was trying to get into my head, and I had to control it, make the Dark Side my tool and not fall victim to it. This place is the balance of light and dark."</p><p>He reaches out with his Force, and she almost sighs in pleasure as he wraps around her, leading her through the cliffs, through the village and into the dark lake, cold and seductive. </p><p>She embraces it's call, lets it flow through her, through emotion, peace. Ben grins and wraps his arms around her, holding her close to him. </p><p>
  <em>---</em>
</p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>"Yeah?" </p><p>He pops his head out of the hut his uncle had given them and she gestures to the bed. "It's... there's only one bed."</p><p>And she was already warm, and hot, and wet, with him in his white undershirt and soft sleep pants, his head damp and curling around his head as he rougly toweled it off. </p><p>"Oh... yeah... I think I'll sleep in Luke's hut for tonight. I think he assumed..."</p><p>He blushes and she grins, nodding her head. </p><p>"It's fine. I'll see you in the morning then?"</p><p>"Yeah. In the morning." She rises and kisses his cheeks when suddenly, the skies opened up above them, and torrential rain poured down around their hut.</p><p>Her lips freeze on his skin as he cusses under his breath.</p><p>"Kriff, Luke told me the weather should be all sunny."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"It's an Ahch-To storm. No one really knows when it will end. We might get flooded. I can probably still run to Luke's hut but..."</p><p>He might not make it back to her in the morning if the rain was still pounding over their heads.</p><p>"It's okay, I can sleep on the floor."</p><p>Ben looks down and she sees the coarse, cobble stoned floor of their hut and shakes her head. </p><p>"Ben. It's okay. It's a night, or two. We can share the bed."</p><p>She ducks into the fresher before he can respond, afraid of the way her body is responding to the thought of having her husband pressed against her just this one night.</p><p>---</p><p>He was already in bed, with his eyes closed by the time she padded out of the fresher, in her thin white tank and her wooly sleep pants. </p><p>She lifted the covers on her side of the bed and got in carefully turning her back on Ben. </p><p>But the bed was narrow, and her husband massive, and her skin, inevitably met the warmth of his. </p><p>She stiffened and held her breath. </p><p>"You might as well breathe."</p><p>His low voice, delicious in the morning times was even more so in the dark, hazy with sleep, low and thrumming through her. Her breath sticks to her throat, and she can feel it, her wetness as his breath washes over her nape. </p><p>He must have turned to face her. </p><p>"I am breathing. And why are you still awake?"</p><p>"It's your first time sharing a bed with a man. I didn't... want to just not talk about it."</p><p>"It's fine." She says in a sudden rush, thinking to herself if she rubbed her thighs together would he notice? Would he know how hot and how wet she is? </p><p>"You have nothing to fear from me Rey?"</p><p>And she knows she should be relieved at that statement but why shouldn't she have nothing to fear? Why isn't he frothing at the mouth to touch her, to get to her? Why isn't she in danger from her massive husband's hands? Why doesn't he desire her, and want her? Why is she so safe, as if she was nothing more than a sister than shared his bed? </p><p>But she shakes her head and merely curls in tighter into herself. </p><p>"Tell me what's it like." She asks him eventually. </p><p>"What's what like?"</p><p>"Bedding someone. Sharing someone's bed."</p><p>"I don't know, yours is the first bed I ever shared."</p><p>That is a surprise to her, so much so that she uncurls herself and turns on her back, to face him. </p><p>His eyes were glinted gold in the dim light from the moon streaming in through their window, and she feels her face flame as his eyes dip down, to her chest, and she suddenly remembers that there was nothing in between this thin tank and her breast, and the way his eyes darken sends a thrill down her spine. </p><p>"But you were planning to, with Bazine, and all the rest. There were rumors."</p><p>Ben's lip twitches and she resists the urge to lean in, and figure out for once and for all if her husband's mouth was as soft and as pillowy as they seemed. Gods she wanted that mouth, on her own, on her breast, on her skin, on her... she flushes at the thought and her eyes flick up to Ben's again. </p><p>"Yes. I enjoyed watching you read about those rumors in our morning breakfast, sweetheart." </p><p>His hands were cupped under his cheek. </p><p>What would it feel like, those massive fingers against her skin...</p><p>"But none of those rumors were true. I never touched anybody." </p><p>Never. He has touched no one. He was still hers. Completely and fully hers. </p><p>Her mouth waters at the thought. </p><p>"Why?"</p><p>He shrugs, reaching out to her, at last, at last, to tuck her hair behind her ear and she shudders at the sudden heat when his fingertip touched her ear lobe, and seemed to linger there, caress there, as he withdrew his hand. </p><p>"<em>Ben</em>." She whispers and Ben huffs at the sound, reaching out to her and dragging her close to his body, his nose burying in her hair. </p><p>"I didn't want anyone to look at you the way Bazine did. I would not cause you shame. My wife. My Rey. Let me hold you. Just for tonight. Let me hold you."</p><p>And because she was still reeling from the discovery that he was hers, and because his hands rubbing up and down her back was like a drug, she let him.</p><p>"Do you ever still think of your fellow?" He asked as his leg wedged in between hers and his hand smushes her face into his chest. He was warm and solid and smelled so good. </p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"The man you had to give up when you were married to me."</p><p>Oh. That. She almost laughs. The imaginary man. The trooper. </p><p>Her friend Finn who she was 100% sure, was attracted to other men. </p><p>"Sometimes."</p><p>But what she really meant was him. The man she lost when she married him was him, because he would be the last man on Earth that will ever prevail to love her. </p><p>"Have you two ever?"</p><p>"No. Never." She would never let him think that she was someone else's. Not when it was agony on her part to think that someone else got to know him. </p><p>"I don't question your virtue, but have you ever kissed him?"</p><p>She remembers, that night, on their honeymoon, when he momentarily pressed his lips to hers. </p><p>You were there, she thought. You were there, you know we have kissed.</p><p>"Once."</p><p>She whispers and he feels his hands tighten on hers, clutch her to him closer, and his lips against her neck, as he speaks. </p><p>"And did you like it?"</p><p>His tongue touches his skin as he enunciates like and fire licks down her back and she arches into him, offering more of her neck. His lips curve under hers. </p><p>I don't know. She thinks. You were there. What did you think. Did I like it? </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>She woke to his breath hot against her skin, and his hands on her body. </p><p>He had one hand that slipped under her tank, and was even now, rubbing at her breast, and pinching at her nipple, and his lips were kissing their way down her neck. Soft, pillowy soft and beautiful. </p><p>"Ben." She whispered and she was thunderstruck at the rasp in her voice, the breathiness of it. She wanted this. And for now, he wanted her too. But he was in a haze of sleep and dreaming, and it was wrong to continue with this. </p><p>She tugged at the hand on her breast, but he only moaned his vehemence and tightened his grip, his hip thrusting into hers that he felt her, large and heavy brushing against the crease of her behind, and his other free hand dipping below her pants, and into her wetness. The sudden jolt of electricity finally snapped her and she pushed, against his arms with all her might falling into the floor. </p><p>"Rey.. what-"</p><p>He bolted upright in bed, confusion hazy in his eyes. </p><p>"I... I'll sleep on the floor."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>He shook his head, as if ridding of pesky flies before he sees her, sprawled on the floor, tank pulled low, one breast spilling out and her sleep pants pulled down over her waist. </p><p>"No. I'll sleep on the floor."</p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>He hefts her up to the bed, his hand tugging her tank up her breast, his hands grazing the sides of her skin and she shudders again. </p><p>He tucks her in the bed, and kisses her forehead, before rising to set up on the floor, but she holds his hand and tugs him back down. </p><p>"It's okay, Ben."</p><p>He was helpless but to follow, to lie down as she rested her head on his chest, hooking arms and legs around him. </p><p>"It's okay."</p><p>He holds her close, because the things he wants to do to her now were definitely not okay. </p><p>---</p><p>The rain stops, and dawn breaks, and his wife was pillowed on him, and drooling. </p><p>He can feel the heat of her breast touch his arm. </p><p>A memory of it, pale and pink tipped against the dark of the night, flashes in his head and he looks down at the tank that was deliciously riding low over her delectable breasts. </p><p>Delectable. </p><p>Such a contrary word to use on his wife. </p><p>Her legs are tangled with his, the kriffing pants obscuring her skin. Would she be freckled down there as well? Would he have constellations to trace on her legs, her thighs? Would she have freckles near that hot mound pressed against his thigh?</p><p>Five years she proposed. But he had to push it to ten. He never thought, never thought he would want her like this, his mouth was almost watering. </p><p>She groans against him, turning away and reaching up to stretch her arm. </p><p>Her arching back pushes her breasts higher and he wills her to push up more, a great deal more, but then she stiffens and wakes and pushes back away from him with alarming speed, gripping the blanket kicked to their feets and staring at him with wide eyes. </p><p>"Good morning."</p><p>"Good morning."</p><p>He replies as she blushes. Would her pretty little tits flush the same way as her cheeks do? </p><p>He wants to know, wants to see, wants to lick when they do, and his pants tighten around his groin. </p><p>"Did you sleep well?"</p><p>She asks and his eyes pull up from her chest to watch her. "My wife kicked me out of bed at night, what do you think?"</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>"Did I do anything?"</p><p>She blushes, and she raises the blanket higher her thighs rubbing together. </p><p>"It's nothing. Only a virgin like me would be frightened."</p><p>Untouched, his, just purely his. How he longed to know the feel of her, the taste of her.</p><p>"And were you? Frightened?"</p><p>"I fled didn't I?"</p><p>Why didn't you give in? The thought flashed in his mind, as was the memory of her breast in his hand, her nipples stiff against his fingers and the hot, warm, heat of her wetness, and he was hard, painfully, mind bogglingly hard. </p><p>"I... I'll take a shower, then we can explore the island?"</p><p>She hopped up and away from him, pants riding low on her hips, and he closes his eyes, waits until he hears the water of the fresher running before he plunges his own hand down his pants and grips his aching, leaking cock. He brings the fingers of his other hand, the hand that touched her wetness to his nose and inhales her, and orgasms at the scent of her sweet, so sweet in his hand and lets himself imagine, just this once, what he would to her, four years from now when he would have her naked and open underneath him. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong>The Third Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>"I hate Chandrilla."</p><p>He moans as he plops his head down on his wife's lap, ignoring the curious stares her ladies in waiting - Rose Tico and her sister the Commander Paige gave him. </p><p>"You grew up in Chandrilla." She murmurs in amusement as her hands bury itself in his hair, smoothing it out, massaging at his scalp and he purrs in contentment. </p><p>"Your hair is growing longer."</p><p>"Hmm.."</p><p>"I'll give you a braid."</p><p>She had just began to learn about Alderaanian braiding from him, wanting to put her hair up on her own, and she begins twisting his hair in a complex braid, worn by warriors of Alderaan. </p><p>Rose sniggers from her seat as Ben's mouth slackens at his wife's ministrations and soon enough his silent snores fill the room. </p><p>Rey finishes his braid, and continues brushing his hair, her other free hand gripped in Ben's slack fingers. </p><p>"Ben! We have to-oof"</p><p>Rey looks up and glares at Armitage sealing his mouth with the Force. </p><p>She casts a protective shield around him, making sure it's sound proof before he lets Armitage go. </p><p>"He hasn't slept in two weeks."</p><p>Armitage fumes at her. "Yes! Because he's signing the Chandrillan armistice! This needs to go smoothly-"</p><p>"And it will. He has done everything he can. Let him get a few hours of nap, Armitage."</p><p>"But his speech-"</p><p>"Out! All of you. If Ben wakes up because of you, I will personally gut you where you stand, you hear me?"</p><p>Rey was seen as a benevolent ruler, never one to threaten anyone. </p><p>Armitage almost forgot this was the girl who killed Snoke. </p><p>He feels Rose tug his sleeve, Paige already sailing out of the room and he raises his hand to emphasize the importance of this speech but Rose not too subtly pushes him out. </p><p>The door seals behind them with a knowing click - Rey using the Force to lock them out while her precious Ben sleeps. </p><p>"She worries for him. He has been growing thinner."</p><p>"He's emperor, he's bound to be busy."</p><p>"And she's a wife who loves him. Rey never gets angry, if Ben falls sick, and she takes over his duties, she will make your life miserable. You might as well leave him to her."</p><p>Armitage stops, and stills. "Well... we do have a bit of free time now." His hand traces down Rose's back, cupping her ass. </p><p>She gasps, and immediately nods her head. </p><p>"I know of a place-"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. They Don't Know Nothing About Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>He hasn't been in Rey's rooms since they married. </p><p>It was decorated like her. Her walls, were a cool blue, with a wall dedicated for holo photos, lighting up the night. It was photos of them, from Corellia in the weekends, random photos taken in ships, a picture of him, lip smeared with cream -  taken on their trip to Canto Bight, the first and only time his wife agreed to go there. And there, in the middle, was of them in Ahch-To. His torso was bare, and he was lifting his wife in his arms, clad in the skimpiest bikini known to man, preparing to dive off a cliff. </p><p>Their life, in photographs, and he only notices that he was happy, smiling at every moment he was with her. </p><p>Ten years. Ten full years and his Rey had been as essential to him as air. </p><p>And now she stands there, fitfully fretting as she waits for him to move. </p><p>"I like the photos, I think I would like one for my rooms as well."</p><p>She smiles, tension oozing out of her shoulders. </p><p>"I can help you, I found this great deal on Pasaana on the installation of the holo-pods."</p><p>"Maybe next time. We have... more pressing matters to attend to."</p><p>Her rooms were dim, the only illumination from the holo-wall, even that she switched off. </p><p>He grins, when the room plunges them into sudden darkness. "So this is how you like to play with me? In the dark? How am I supposed to disrobe you?"</p><p>"I'm sure a smart man like you, can figure it out."</p><p>Her voice was heady, breathless - standing by her bed. Slowly, carefully, he approached her. </p><p>It was just for procreation. </p><p>It was just a way to keep her here, with him, away from that Finn. </p><p>A simple marital task. </p><p>Why then does he feel that all the world is but a fingerbreadth away, and he'd be swept up into the tides of a giant ocean? </p><p>He reaches out for her hands, and feels her skin. Three years ago, maybe even a year ago, he would have thought his wife stiff and lifeless. But he knows her well now, and knows well enough to open their bond, and sure enough, there, she trembles, fear yes, but over it all anticipation. He grins, raising her wrist to his mouth letting his lips press there, hot and wet, and he full on smiles when he feels their bond open and flare, her desire tumbling through him. </p><p>He traces his lips up her bare arms, as she stands there, letting him do as he pleased, and he kisses up her forearm, nuzzling his nose at the crook of her elbow, pressing open mouthed kisses up her arm, to her shoulder, and finally he reaches her neck, where he buries his nose, just there, there where she smelled the most Rey, and so inhaling her, let his mouth open, his tongue dart out and taste her skin. </p><p>Fire rages at his veins, as the taste of her, heady, salty, sweet and <em>Rey</em> enters his system and then he cannot wait. </p><p>His hands plunge into her hair, eager to let out her buns, and have her hair flow down against his fingers. </p><p>"When we first wed..." His voice is breathy, his lungs straining for air. "I can never be sure of what you looked like. It always changed. Your face. You had to wear the Queen of Naboo's costume for most of our first year. Then the coronation, and you became Empress Ren."</p><p>Her hands remained steadfastly at her sides, even as he mouthed at her shoulder, at her neck. But her voice was decidedly strained when she says "So... I could have passed you by, and you would never have known it was me?"</p><p>"No. Your eyes do not change, the sound of your voice, your smile. Your footsteps. I could tell when you were coming just by your footsteps."</p><p>His hands move to her back, tugging at the buttons inlaid at her dancing gown. His fingers felt clumsy, and large, the buttons kept slipping from his fingertips that he curses out his frustrations and Rey laughs. </p><p>Good. He wanted that. He wanted her laughter, her joy. He wanted her as hungry for him as he was for her. </p><p>Ten years. Ten years they've been friends and with the exception of that night in Ahch-To he never allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to have her, and yet, here, now, he wants to imagine it, every single dirty way they can come together. He wants her wanton and craven, he wants her to break free from this affable, warm friendship they have and be in this raging storm that rose within him. </p><p>He wanted her to touch him, brand him, mark him as her own. And so thinking, he kissed his way up from her shoulder, up her neck, nipping at her jaw, before pressing his lips to hers, and kissing her as he wanted to since the first moment their lips touched, open, hot, wet, his tongue sliding against hers, tasting her. </p><p>---</p><p>Hot, she was hot everywhere, his lips trailed fire against her skin wherever he kissed. </p><p>And now his mouth was plundering hers, his hands ripping the very dress off her back, and damned if she didn't find that so hot. </p><p>But she willed herself to stay strong, make no sounds, do not give in to the fire burning in her loins. </p><p>Say nothing, make no sounds, do not close your eyes and moan at him. </p><p>You are a friend, fulfilling a duty. Not a wanton mistress with her lover for the first time in so long. </p><p>She tries to slow and temper his kiss, his tongue stroking against hers too great of a temptation. But he all but growls at her, and only kisses her, harder, deeper, biting against her lower lip and sucking it into his mouth and his hands, grappling at her back clenches at the top of her dress and rips, all the way down from her back to her ass, the buttons on her dress pinging and clattering around varied surfaces in her rooms, and then his mouth still on hers, his hands tug the dress down to her waist, where it can go no further due to the million layers of petticoats and understructure and in Ben's frustration, his mouth breaks away from hers, and he wraps his arms underneath her armpits and lifts her, bodily up from her dress and he proceeded to kick it away. </p><p>His eyes were dark, taking in her thin slip of lacy confections, cupping her breasts, connecting to her stockings, and his eyes already dark, grow impossibly wider as he reaches for her again, his mouth latching on to hers in the same hungry devouring way and his hands, pick and pluck at her slip. </p><p>He rips the tiny straps of her chemise, throwing it away like it was nothing. </p><p>He snaps at the garters at her stockings, the snap against her thigh delicious, making her wet center even wetter. And then she was left in nothing but her lacy bra and her lacy panties which gives Ben satisfaction. He moves to snap her bra off but she stops him. </p><p>He can get to her from here, push aside her underwear and just do it. She wanted this, this additional layer of protection between them because the notion of getting fully naked with her husband giving her serious issues. </p><p>"I want to keep them on. My underwear."</p><p>Ben stops kissing her, lips migrating down her neck again, nipping her collar bone this time, until he reaches the top of her breasts, nuzzling his face in the center of both her breasts. </p><p>"Certainly. You may keep your underwear."</p><p>She should be annoyed that he didn't even want to strip her bare. She should really, truly be angry.</p><p>"In return, I get to turn on the lights."</p><p>"NO! No lights."</p><p>His lips curl against her skin, and he rips at her bra forcefully, the straps digging in to her shoulders in a delicious pain, and then his mouth was engulfing her nipple hot, wet and warm, suckling at her, tongue laving against her nipple and his other hand, the hand that bore their wedding ring rubbed hard against her opposite nipple, the cool metal a shock against her skin. </p><p>She loses her control. </p><p>How can she remain still, detached a friend when he was bringing her in a maelstrom of sensation. </p><p>She lets out a loud moan and brings her hands up to his hair, tugging at the strands, mashing his face closer to his breath and he rewards her by biting down on her nipple which has her arching her back against his mouth, her head thrashing in the pillows from the over flow of sensation. </p><p>He releases her breast with a loud pop, turning his head to suck her other breast into his mouth as the hand that pinched and rolled and prodded at her nipple dipped down her sides, tracing his wedding ring against her flank, her hips, across her thigh and finally, finally, pressing into her mound. </p><p>With a keening moan, she drags her hands to his front, tugging at his suit jacket, causing the buttons to pop off and she was pushing it up and off.</p><p>She pushes against him with a growl, and he lands on his back on the bed with a whoosh, and she dives down, fingers ripping at the buttons of his dress shirt, exposing his hot torso to her hands. Hot skin, hard muscles, all for her, and she bends at her waist, straddling him, feeling his hardness etched out in his pants, rubbing at her core. She was sure the wetness dripping from her dripped on to his pants. </p><p>She licked down his neck, savoring the heady mixture of sweat, salt, lemon verbena and Ben. She laves and licks at his chest, presses hot, open mouthed kisses to his abdomen, trailing down until her mouth hits the end of his pants and she tugs at his belt and pushes his zipper down. </p><p>Her mouth on his erection awakens Ben as he rears up, and tumbles Rey back on her back, and he was pushing his pants down and Rey was reaching in between them, eager to get her hands on him. </p><p>She grabs his cock from inside his underwear and grips hard and his breath was squeezed out of his chest, and his head drops, heavy against her chest, his lips on her skin. </p><p>"Rey. Kriff. Rey."</p><p>"Take me. Get inside me. Ben."</p><p>His hands reach down and tears at the scrap of satin against her mound, and his fingers dive in, pressing in to her wet heat, teasing at her weeping slit. </p><p>"Ben, yes, yes, so good."</p><p>Her back was arched off the bed, her head thrashing against the sheets, as she tried to pump her hips, to get his fingers inside of her. </p><p>"Ben. Inside me, inside me."</p><p>"Wait."</p><p>He sweeps her wetness up away from her seam and she was already wailing in protest that turned to a moan when he presses against her clit. </p><p>She comes, immediately, pussy clenching on air as she wraps her arms around Ben pulling at him, thrusting her hips at him. </p><p>"Please. Ben, please."</p><p>His mouth swoops down to catch hers in a harsh kiss as he swallowed his cries as his fingers plunged inside of her curling up and hitting a spot inside of her. </p><p>"Ben!" She breaks their kiss as pleasure shoots up her system, her thighs now gripping his waist, as he bends down and takes advantage of the position, sucking at her neck, his free hand squeezing her breast. </p><p>She retaliated by reaching down and gripping his cock, wiping her thump at the wetness at his tip. </p><p>"Now, put it in me, now."</p><p>He forcefully thrusts his finger up against her wall and she breaks, all her nerve endings lit on fire and she screams through her orgasm, as Ben slides his cock once more against her clit before descending and notching in her still convulsing pussy. </p><p>He thrusts into her, one hard smooth thrust that has his gasping for breath. She spasms around him, empty one second and full, so full to the brim the next. He was massive, he was pressed into her so intimately, he was everywhere. </p><p>There was pain, yes, but she welcomes it. So long and good riddance to her virginity, and her and now was her husband, head in her neck, chest crushing her into their bed, hips flush against her own, and his cock, long and hard and thick and so hot inside of her. </p><p>"Are you okay?" He breathes harshly against her skin, and she holds his head, soothing and comforting and pushing her hips up against him. </p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Are you hurt?"</p><p>"Not enough to stop. Please don't stop."</p><p>He withdraws from her, lips tracing up to her ear, licking her there, then to her cheek, over her eyes and down her nose, and taking her lips at the same time he plunges back inside of her. </p><p>How does one describe the sunset to the blind? Or the sound of the birds singing in the morning to the deaf?</p><p>She never knew such pleasure existed, as her husband thrusts in and out of her, creating such delicious friction and his hands, his mouth, his skin all against hers.</p><p>"Ben, Ben, please..."</p><p>He shifts inside of her, this new angle pushing him even deeper in her, hitting a place she never knew wxisted and then she was convulsing, person shaking, lights in her eyes, as she comes, and comes around him. </p><p>---</p><p>He barely even started, and here he was on the verge. </p><p>Don't stop his wife said, begged, as her body thrummed under his. </p><p>He needed to go slow, slow, don't hurt her, but his own traitorous body can't help but drive each stroke back to her to the hilt, letting her squeeze every inch of him deliciously, until she comes, around him, and he loses it, loses all sense of everything except Rey, his wife, and the feel of her, open, and naked underneath him. </p><p>---</p><p>He doesn't come out of her, even as he lay panting against her breast, and she strokes his hair away from her face.</p><p>He doesn't come out of her even as he kisses lazily up her breast, her neck, and her mouth, slowly pumping his hips against her as she feels him harden again inside of her. </p><p>He loves her slow now, as if they had all the time in the world, his hands explored her body, discovering secret places of pleasure that was unknown even to her. </p><p>But this was the love making of people who had all the time in the world. This was love making of people who will do it for the rest of their lives.</p><p>She didn't want to remember this was only temporary. </p><p>She wanted to forget until all knew knew was the feel of his cock inside of her. </p><p>So she touches him indecently. </p><p>Urges him to move against her indecently. </p><p>And then at last, she was coming once more against him.</p><p>---</p><p>He wakes to her pressing kisses down his chest, she was wrapped in his arms but she pushes him down his back, her mouth on his abdomen now before her tongue licks a long stripe from his belly to the tip of his cock and he arches against her hold. </p><p>He blinks his eyes open, not quite believing the sight of his prim and proper empress, hair mussed, skin littered with bruises from his hands and lips, her eyes heavy lidded, clouded with sleep and locked on his as her mouth descended on his cock. </p><p>His eyes almost pop out of his head at the pleasure of having her tongue swirl on the head of his cock as she sucked him, her hands pumping the parts of him that won't fit into her mouth. </p><p>It was too good and too much and when  she sucks him hard he grabs at her head, intending to pull her away but she only sank him deeper until he feels her throat close around him. </p><p>"Rey. Rey, I'm going to cum, Rey."</p><p>But she keeps her mouth locked around him, kept her eyes on his as he came, and she swallowed everything he gave her. </p><p>When she pops up off of him, a grin on her face as she visibly swallows his cum, he surges up, tumbles her on to her back and licks all the way down her body, intending to repay the favor. </p><p>---</p><p>"Good morning."</p><p>He breathes out when sanity returns, and Rey simply giggles, burrowing into him. </p><p>"How are you feeling?" He asks again, pulling her tighter, relishing in the weight of her breasts against his chest, and he ran his hand up and down her back, occassionally dipping in to her wetness. </p><p>"Sore. You?"</p><p>He laughs, and kisses the crown of her head. "I've had better days."</p><p>She kisses his collarbone before turning and rising from the bed, languid in her nakedness. </p><p>"You must go before Rose comes with my morning dress and Armitage looks for you."</p><p>But the way her shapely ass moved as she rose was too mouthwatering of a distraction, besides he has never seen her come in the light of day, and so he tumbles her back into bed.</p><p>They don't make it out until the next week. </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Beginning of the End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign on Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order</strong>
</p><p>How did one woman take over your life in the course of the week?</p><p>He couldn't focus on his work, all he can think of is her skin, the feel of her mouth against his own, the look in her eyes when she wakes him up in the morning, the way they glaze over with pleasure when he brings her to orgasm. </p><p>All he can think of was her, his wife, his Rey. </p><p>And now that they have this physical intimacy, their bond has flared stronger than ever, and it was like having her all the time with him. He feels her more acutely now, her joy, her fear, her frustrations. </p><p>He missed her so badly when she has left for her duties as Empress that he can't help but peek into her mind, and speak to her while they were in their respective meetings. </p><p>And every night he almost barges in through her connecting door to shoo Rose away so he can finally, finally have his way with his wife. </p><p>He hasn't slept in his own bed for a week. </p><p>He doesn't know if he can ever sleep in his own bed ever again, without the feel of his wife against him. </p><p>Just, there, her heartbeat in his ear, and he can wake up to her eyes, her smile, her scent. </p><p>He was a goner for his wife, even now, when she sits across from him, plotting out which areas of Hosnian Prime they can begin to repopulate with the refugees. </p><p>"And this sector has been refurbished, housing, school system and a trade route to Chandrilla - the closest outpost that I can find that will cost the least for trade federation tariffs."</p><p>He blinks back, thankful that his wife was too immersed in her project. </p><p>She, during her stint in the First Order as Snoke's apprentice had been the leader of the hit on Hosnian Prime. She has been endeavoring to right that wrong ever since. </p><p>And now she finally has, putting together hours upon hours of work, to give back a home to many people. </p><p>His strong, beautiful, intelligent, devoted wife. </p><p>The other half of his soul. </p><p>"The medi-unit can come in- Ben- mpff..." </p><p>She laughs as he attacks her with an open mouthed kiss from his perch on the throne hall. </p><p>Whenever they had large discussions, she prefers to use the holo table interference in the throne hall than stay in their offices.</p><p>Which also meant Ben had such fantasies of having her here, and claiming her here.</p><p>He lifts her up into his own throne, mouth still on her as she laughs, but humors him his proclivities as he shoves her skirts up and she pushes his breeches down, and he was inside her and everything was well again. </p><p>"Look at me."</p><p>His hips thrust up into her and she closes her eyes and rolls her head back. </p><p>"Rey. I'll stop if you don't look at me."</p><p>And he does, causing her to whimper, her thighs squeezing his waist. </p><p>"Look at me sweetheart."</p><p>His thumbs brush at her cheeks and she lifts her eyes to lock on his as he moves, and moves, and sees himself, and feels the pleasure rush through her, before her climax overtakes her, and her walls collapse around her. </p><p>---</p><p>In the after he was bothered. </p><p>This was wrong. This was very wrong. It was one thing to bed his wife, at night. </p><p>It was one thing when he was trying to prevent her from joining the trooper.</p><p>But this. </p><p>This was beyond all of that. </p><p>This was primal need for his wife. </p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your presentation."</p><p>She grins as she straightens his tie and helps buckle his cape. </p><p>"You didn't interrupt me. You were <em>in</em> me. But you didn't interrupt me."</p><p>She was flirting with him, the thought sent a sucker punch of desire and guilt into him. </p><p>She has mistaken his intentions. </p><p>He was pledged to another woman, what was he doing? Flirting with his own wife. </p><p>"Rey, I-"</p><p>But her commlink signals and she sighs. "That's the representative from Hosnian Five, about the housing. I have to go. I'll see you at dinner."</p><p>She bends down to kiss his lips, lingers and licks at his lips at the end of it. </p><p>His heart almost wrenches from his chest when he sees her take flight. </p><p>And he wishes he didn't savor the taste of her on his lips. </p><p>This was wrong. He cannot do this anymore. </p><p>---</p><p>She was happy, so very happy. </p><p>Maybe it was true, maybe friendship did give love it's wings. Maybe at last her husband loves her. </p><p>But she walks into their shared office suite expecting to see him because her meetings with Hosnian Five ran late. </p><p>But he wasn't there. </p><p>And he wasn't there an hour after she finished washing off the grime of the day. </p><p>And he wasn't there when dinner ran cold. </p><p>And he wasn't there when her bed ran even colder. </p><p>She finally hears his footsteps enter his chamber, expecting him to come to her. </p><p>He doesn't. </p><p>When she wakes the next morning after a fitful sleep, he wasn't at breakfast either. </p><p>So, doing something she promised she'd never try she meditates and feels for their bond, and follows it, all the way to him, only to be met with a large, solid wall. </p><p>He's closed off from her, unreachable, untouchable. </p><p>And her heart shatters anew. </p><p>---</p><p>He couldn't sleep. </p><p>He couldn't eat. </p><p>All he thought about was her. </p><p>His wife. </p><p>One wall away from him. </p><p>All he ever wanted, all he ever needed, all he ever loved, half of his soul locked away from him separated by a wall and a door he could walk through when he wished. </p><p>Does she know? How he spends hours upon hours outside her door wishing he can go in? Wishing he can just... breach the walls and find her?</p><p>Hold her?</p><p>Kiss her?</p><p>But he couldn't. He loved another woman. Whatever this was, whatever this is... </p><p>He couldn't.</p><p>---</p><p>When he walks in to their shared office long after she'll be gone, he was surprised to find her there, in her travelling clothes. </p><p>She looks pale, and there were circles under her eyes, and his worry flares. </p><p>"Rey-"</p><p>But she doesn't let him speak. Only rises and smiles when he comes in, as if he hadn't spent the past three days avoiding her like the plague. </p><p>Her own worry plagues her too. She knows he's been standing outside her door, not sleeping, not eating. He looks worn and weary and bone tired. Sapped from all the joy he had. </p><p>He hovers on her door, torn between his feelings. </p><p>She knows and understands. She too, lies awake, waiting for him to open her door and come to her. </p><p>This cannot be blamed entirely on Ben. Sometimes change happens slowly, gradually, you can't even remember when the change happened. She knew he loved her. But she cannot fault him for not noticing that he had been falling in love with someone he only considered a friend and partner. </p><p>But she knew. From the start. She knew she loved him and instead of telling him, spun an artful lie that led him to choke a man and live in the fear of losing her for reasons unknown. She should have just told him, before she slept with him, when he choked Finn, hell when he took her on that trip to Ahch-To. She should have just said something instead of pretending this was nothing and she was cool and calm and collected and she was fine. </p><p>But no more. No more pretending. </p><p>No more cowardice. </p><p>It was time to give this the chance it needed. </p><p>"Ben, will you still be with Captain Phasma when I conceive a child?"</p><p>He looks at her, and says nothing. </p><p>If he loved her, this would be the time to tell her, that no, he doesn't plan to, or wish to ever be with another woman as long as she walked the face of this Earth. </p><p>But he doesn't say anything. </p><p>And so she stands, at peace with the consequences of her decisions. </p><p>"I'm going to Corellia for a while, to visit with your parents, and Maz and Chewie. I have some business to settle with them. And when I come back... Ben, when I come back, we should discuss going our separate ways."</p><p>That shakes him out of his stupor. He blanches with shock, then reddens with rage as he lunges for her and grips her arms. </p><p>"What?" His voice was high, on the verge of a scream. </p><p>"We are not going our separate ways, Rey-"</p><p>But she touches his arms, and rubs them, a sad smile on her face. </p><p>"Ben, do you honestly think that after all this time, I would be alright to live under the same room as you and another woman? To know that you will touch her as you have touched me, to know that she will know you, what you like, where to touch you to get your heart beating faster? Do you think I will be the kind of woman to live with your mistress?"</p><p>He opens his mouth, but makes no response. </p><p>"If you want to live with Phasma, then I cannot be in the house where she is. If you want to spend the rest of your days with her, then I would have to leave." </p><p>His face hardens and his grips on her tightens. "You cannot leave, you are Empress. And you will be mother of the heir to the throne. You have to be here to raise our child. You're my <em>wife. </em>You cannot be apart from me."</p><p>"I will raise our children with me, where I go. I'll be staying with your mother. I can use that as an excuse of why I have to leave the palace."</p><p>"You cannot leave me, you aren't yet with child!"</p><p>"We can use modern science! I have spoken with Dr. Ackbar, he has said that many couples conceived via in vitro methods. All you'd need is to give sperm in the hospital and they will settle everything. It's how the Ersos conceived their child."</p><p>"I don't give a fuck about what the Ersos did! We are not separating Rey. You are not leaving this palace!"</p><p>Rey sighs and turns away. </p><p>"If you're concerned about how the people might take it, and if my grandfather has loyalists that will use this as a reason to strike you down, I will happily deal with it. I can schedule a galactic wide holo. I can take all the blame - the Palpatine that forced a Skywalker. They will believe it of you and me, and you will have the galaxy still at peace even without me."</p><p>His fists clench and his jaw trembles with pure, unadultered rage at her words and he looks at her as if he doesn't know her. </p><p>"I would burn this galaxy, every planet, every treaty, every single armistice that we have worked on for the past ten years and plunge the whole galaxy into war before I let you think that this motherkriffing galaxy is why I am keeping you."</p><p>"Then why are you keeping me, Ben?"</p><p>Her voice was soft, and she still waits. </p><p>Ben only tugs on his hair and bends at the waist to scream out his frustration before turning mad eyes back at her.</p><p>"Storm will be returning to the Outer Rim! You cannot be with him anyway! I had spies on him Rey. I have multiple reports saying he spends most of his nights in Poe Dameron's room. You cannot be with him anyway! So why leave me?"</p><p>And this was the crux of the issue wasn't it? She was still so afraid, of what might happen when she tells him. But she had been a coward for too long. </p><p>No more. </p><p>"I never was in love with Finn, Ben."</p><p>He looked disoriented and mad. "What? But you said you lost him, a trooper when we married."</p><p>"I lied. About that part. But I wasn't lying when I said I lost the man I loved when I married you. You see Ben, I'm in love with you. I have been from the very first moment I saw you. And I tried to stop, truly I did. But you're you. My Ben. Bold and strong and beautiful and brave. How can I not love you? So you see, when we married, I have lost you, because I was the woman who stopped you from being with someone you truly loved. And when you were angriest at fate, so was I - because I was the last woman you would ever love." </p><p>Tears dripped from eyes as she bared her heart, she didn't even notice she started shedding it. </p><p>"Rey." He moves to her, and holds her hands tightly. </p><p>"You should have told me. You should have said something earlier on."</p><p>His hands brushed her tears away. </p><p>"I know." She sniffs and tries a smile she can't quite manage. </p><p>"I can't change the past, but please, let me show you now."</p><p>She holds his hands, twines her fingers with his and lets all her walls, carefully constructed crash down. </p><p>And he was assaulted with it, visions of him, the first time they met - had he been that young? Tall, and proud and a little bit arrogant. </p><p>And he feels it, the quickening of her pulse, the fluttering of her heart beat. </p><p>He sees it, their wedding day, how she found him so dashing, how her heart broke when she saw Gwen, when she saw his misery. </p><p>He sees her despair when he was in the throws of drink during their honeymoon, the way he held his lightsaber, the way she thought he was going to take his life. </p><p>He sees her joy when he gives her that small present on their first year together, and how she kept his calligraphy set with her. </p><p>He sees how he looks when she first kissed him goodmorning.</p><p>He sees his face laughing through all the memories they shared.</p><p>And he feels it. Her love for him. All this time, all this long while, behind the walls she had carefully constructed around herself, all this while she has loved him.</p><p>--- </p><p>She sees it on his face, dawning on him, how much she loved him. </p><p>Now would be the time. If he loved her, he wouldn't even need to say anything. </p><p>He only needed to kiss her. </p><p>But he doesn't. And he steps away. Walks to the tall windows overlooking their sitting area and cups his head in his hands. </p><p>"You should have told me Rey."</p><p>"I know. Your mother kept telling me I should have. But I didn't. And I'm sorry."</p><p>"Rey-"</p><p>They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Her imperial highness' ship is ready. Ben was ready to choke the ever living hell out of the trooper but Rey merely bent to pick up her small carry on bag. </p><p>There was a world of sadness in her eyes when she turns back to him. </p><p>"Ben, you have always been a fair man. I think... if you want to be with Phasma, I think it's only fair that you let me go. And maybe... maybe someday... I can find love of my own too. I think I deserve that, after all of this, don't you think?"</p><p>She comes up to him, and kisses his cheek, the same spot she has kissed for the past 10 years every morning. </p><p>"Good morning, my love." </p><p>She brushes her thumb over the spot where his dimple winks out, as tears leak from her eyes again and she smiles at him, before kissing him again there. </p><p>"Good bye, my love."</p><p>Then she turns and walks out before he can even say anything. </p><p>---</p><p>Gwen marvels at the little plants that grow in their shared garden. </p><p>"I think we have to keep this, when we refurbish the room, don't you?"</p><p>It's been four days since his wife had fled the palace. Four days, of missing her, longing for her, and staring at his holo hoping she would call him. </p><p>Four days of him calling Rose, his mother, his father, even Armitage, for any news of her because her holo was off-line and no one would tell him what was going on with his wife. </p><p>Four days of absolute hell. </p><p>And Gwen came in today, hearing about the Empress leaving the palace, and assumed it would be forever. </p><p>"My wife planted those." Gwen freezes at the first words he had spoken since she came into his office. </p><p>Her back is away from him and doesn't turn when he comes up to her and points at his wife's plants. </p><p>"Those flowers are from Jakku, she says it keeps her rooted, reminds her of where she came from. Those are from Ahch-To. We love it there, our favorite place to be, it grounds us to the Force. Those are my mother's Corellian lilies. Rey loves them the most. She once told me our daughter could be named after them."</p><p>"Ben."</p><p>"I've been such a fool, Gwen. Such a fool. This palace, this galaxy, this life... we built this. My wife and I. There isn't much of me that isn't hers. Actually, there isn't any part of me that isn't hers, and I've been fool to not see it. And now my wife has fled, and my life is leeched of color." </p><p>"Stop."</p><p>She was crying now, and it hurts him because Gwendolyn Phasma never cried. She was a strong warrior, tall and proud, and she fell the Jawanese Mafia on her own after doggedly working for ten years. And she was sobbing now because of him. </p><p>"I can't stop, Gwen. I'm in love with my wife. She is a part of me, Gwen. The better half of me, and I cannot imagine my life without her. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have led you on. I should have known my feelings from the start. I never should have let it come to this."</p><p>Gwen raises her head as if forcing her tears to return to her eyes and she wipes her tears away. </p><p>"You're just saying that Ben. You don't mean it. We've been in love all our lives."</p><p>He smiles, sadly before he turns, and motions for him to come into Rey's rooms. Where he had been spending most of his nights, wanting to be surrounded by her scent. </p><p>He flicks the switch that turns on her wall of holo photos and smiles when the familiar images of them are shown to him. </p><p>His favorites - the one of him and Rey on Ahch-To in the center, the first Life Day they spent in Corellia, with her present - a big orange ball droid that malfunctioned after a day and a half clutched in her arms as she leaned against him. The first photo of them on their wedding, he remembers that day, he had been so miserable, that before he got wasted on the alcohol Rey told him something, some joke or the other that made him smile. Even then, in his darkest days, she can make him smile. </p><p>Their life together, he realizes, has just been full of love and laughter and he really, really should have seen it sooner. </p><p>And he sees it, in the way Gwen's eyes water as she traces every photo. In the way she gasps, and silences herself with her hand pressed tightly to her mouth. </p><p>"This is my life now. This is who I am now. The boy who loved you, maybe... maybe if the circumstances were different he would be a man who still loves you now. But honestly Gwen, I don't want to think about that what if. I don't want to think about it because it means I never would have met my wife. And not meeting my wife would be the single greatest tragedy that will ever be. I like this life, I like the man I've become and I love my Rey. My wife. I can't do this with you Gwen. Not when all I want right now is my wife."</p><p>Gwen raises a hand to him, turning away for a second before she collected herself. Breathing out, to stop the tears from spilling down her eyes. </p><p>"Gwen-"</p><p>"It's not like I haven't seen it. I knew when knews of you choking the Jedi knight spread like wild fire. I just... don't know what to do now." </p><p>He hugs her, for she was his first love, and he did love her truly, when it was their time. </p><p>"We will still be friends Gwen. And I'm sure you will find some endeavor you would wish to pursue and I would support it, and you. I am still your friend, if anything."</p><p>But he can't be the man that loved her, because he was desperately, irrevocably, completely in love with his wife. </p><p>---</p><p>He lands in Corellia within the day. </p><p>He almost takes off the doors off the cottage of his parents when he knocks, only to be met by the grim stare of his mother and his father who looked weary, rubbing his face in his hands as he hovers over the door. </p><p>A cold sense of fear washes over him. </p><p>He should feel her now, their bond flaring at the proximity. But he touches on their bond, and finds it cold, as if it was a room left empty for so long. Rey was not on the other side. </p><p>Fear knocks into his throat and he grapples, desperately at his mother. </p><p>"Mom... where's my wife?"</p><p>Leia bursts into tears as she clutches Ben. "I'm sorry Ben, she's gone."</p><p>And his world shatters. </p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Tenth Year of the Galactic Reign of Emperor Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order </strong>
</p><p>Four days without Ben.</p><p>She waited, hopefully, that he would follow her here, to Corellia, and sweep her off her feet and profess his undying love. </p><p>It always happened in those holo-vids. </p><p>She fully expected him to be here, grovelling. </p><p>He didn't. He wasn't. And she was very angry at him. </p><p>Except she also was in such a despair because this means that Ben was letting her go, and she'll never see him again and she hasn't exactly planned this far out. </p><p>Because again when she gave her grand speech about leaving and going to Corellia, she fully expected him to follow, go down on his knees, and maybe lick her pussy as he asked for forgiveness. </p><p>She would be reluctant and angry and act as if it's too late, while pushing his head closer to her core, and she stops, and laughs at herself burying her face into the pillow. </p><p>How can she think such dirty thoughts when she quite possibly may have to leave her husband in the nearing future. </p><p>How will she be able to do that? </p><p>She rises to look out at her view of the landing bay, hoping against all hope that he would be coming today, to take her, to love her, to spend forever with her. </p><p>But the air remains stubbornly silent, no sight of his TIE in the horizon. </p><p>She walks to her vanity and smiles as she sees traces of him there, his sweaters mixed with hers. They still shared two rooms, but his stuff was in here, this was his room after all, even if he sleeps on a cot in the sitting area. </p><p>Missing him, and the feel of him, and the scent of him, she takes on of his black sweaters and puts it on together with her pants, the waft of his skin settles her, makes her content. Another day of waiting she thinks. </p><p>She steps out of her rooms and goes to the elevator bays to reach the kitchen. </p><p>She will never not think of Corellia as home. Sure the palace was where she lived and Varykino was her and Ben's place, but Corellia was home, where their family was. </p><p>Stepping out of the lifts she can already hear them, the sizzle of meat frying on the pan, caf being made, the clinks of plates against cutlery, the sound of Han and Leia bickering over something, Chewie grunting his amusement, Poe Dameron arguing with Finn over the best route to take to the Hosnian system for this mythical map they were trying to find. </p><p>The chatter doesn't stop when she walks in. Unlike in the palace when everyone rises when the Empress is revealed, she is just Rey here, amongst friends and family. </p><p>That makes it all the more harder to think when she has to go to exile, when Gwen will take her place. </p><p>Her eyes water and Leia sees her hovering in the doorway and beckons her to come. </p><p>She does and appreciates it when Leia wraps her in a hug. </p><p>"Rey. It will work out in the end."</p><p>She holds on for a little longer before sniffling, and she releases Leia only to have her head patted by Han. "Kid. How you holding up?"</p><p>"I'm good. Really, I am."</p><p>But her communicator signals, a news alert about her. </p><p>Without thinking she activates it, and is treated to a holo view of her husband, hugging a tall blonde woman on the balcony of their palace. </p><p>Leia gasps, and Han sends out a cuss. </p><p>But all she can think about was getting out of here. </p><p>---</p><p>"Rey. We have to talk about this. Rey."</p><p>"Peanut. Don't, where are you going."</p><p>"Just call him, ask him to explain."</p><p>"HAN. CALL YOUR SON. NOW."</p><p>"I am, he's not picking up his comm!"</p><p>"Rey!"</p><p>Finn stands between her and her TIE, but she shoves him away with the Force and sets up a field behind her, that is impenetrable to everyone around her. </p><p>"Kid. Where are you going?"</p><p>It was Han's voice that got through the haze of tears. </p><p>"Far. I'm going far away."</p><p>"He'll be able to find you."</p><p>He was right. But she can make it almost impossible to be found. She picks up the kyber crystal that was supposed to be for her new saber. She wanted him and her and to make it together, but...</p><p>She searches her Force, the crystal vibrates with it, and cracks and bleeds like her heart, it bands like a bracelet around her wrist, a lethal icy cuff. And the field dies down around her, and the world falls silent around her, and that thin fraying rope at the end of which she always felt someone is with her shuts off. For the first time she is alone, disconnected and she breaks into tears again. </p><p>"He won't. Not now."</p><p>Han merely looks at her in defeat and holds up a hand when Finn makes to approach her. </p><p>"You'll call me, to tell me you are safe. Once in a while."</p><p>She nods, unable to stop tearing. </p><p>"You'll take the Falcon."</p><p>He hands her the golden dice, the keys to his ship and she shakes her head. "I can't..."</p><p>"I want you to always have a way back home. When you're ready. We're still your family."</p><p>But they weren't. Not really. They were Ben's family and she was only family because of him. And now, with Ben gone, she wasn't anybody. </p><p>"No." </p><p>Han insists, pressing the dice to her hands. </p><p>"You are family, whether or not you are Ben's wife. You're my kid. And I love you, and I always want you to have a way home."</p><p>She takes it from him, and the look on his face causes her to falter, for him to reach for him, and weep bitterly into his shoulder. </p><p>"Come home when you're ready, okay?"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>She pulls back and remembers. Hands him her holo-chip. "This is for Ben. In case... I know the galaxy's stable and all but in case... I don't want him to take the blame for this."</p><p>Han takes it from her. And she nods, looking to Leia and wrapping her in a fierce hug. "You don't have to leave. You always intended to stay here anyway." </p><p>She shakes her head. "I thought I could do it, be detached, be okay to just be his friend. But... it hurts too much. In here. I can't stay."</p><p>She clutches at her heart and Leia tears up and holds her fiercely. "I'm going to miss you. Will you at least let me know where you're going?"</p><p>"I can't. He'll read your mind."</p><p>And Leia knows it to be true. Ben will not react kindly to this. Her stupid, idiotic son. </p><p>"Just let us know if you're safe, okay?"</p><p>"I will."</p><p>She hugs her, one last time then turns to board her ship. She doesn't look back as the engine starts. Doesn't look up as she hits atmo. Doesn't look back as she enters light speed and runs away from the only family she's ever known. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>To the galaxy. May the Force be with You. </em>
</p><p>She had her regalia on. Her crown glinting onyx in her chestnut hair, pulled back in the single bun with her hair cascading around her shoulders.</p><p>She had on her armor, and his cape. </p><p>She had bruises under her eyes and was thin, as if she hadn't slept in days. And it breaks him, as it does everytime. </p><p>
  <em>This is Kira Ren speaking. Effective immediately, I am stepping down from my post as Empress of the Known Galaxy, Princess of Alderaan and Duchess of Naboo. Some of you may remember who I am. Before I was Empress Ren, I was Reyna Palpatine. I was a commander in the First Order, and I lead Starkiller Base on the day we targetted Hosnian Prime. I defected from the First Order, and killed Supreme Leader Snoke when I learned the truth about my parentage, and how my grandfather had my parents killed when they sided with Princess Leia Organa and the Rebellion after the Battle of Yavin. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My father had no wish to take the throne, he willingly signed it over to Darth Vader and his daughter, the Princess Organa now known as Empress Darth Licht. Because of this the Palpatines have no claim to the throne. Emperor Kylo Ren, who was Prince Ben Organa-Solo is it's rightful heir. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Many will have used my name to take his birthright away from him. And so, when I defected, then Empress Darth Licht thought it would be better for us to wed, so that there can be no question about the stability of the galaxy. Prince Ben who loved another woman, agreed. For the balance. For the good of all of you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the ten years he has been Emperor Kylo Ren, he has shown nothing but benevolence and concern and a true effort to make a better galaxy for all. He has been a true and faithful husband to me. But the emperor and I wed for political reasons, the promises of which we have already fulfilled and more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think it is time, to let Emperor Kylo Ren wed the woman he truly wishes to be with - Captain Gwendolyn Phasma. I give them my blessing, and leave my post to the new Empress with a grateful heart. The Captain has led the reforms in the Outer Rims against the Jawanese Mafia and strived to bring balance and order. I commend her, and know she will make an excellent Empress. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please, do not take my absence against the Emperor. He has been nothing but a good friend, a faithful husband, and my loving family. I am very grateful for the decade we have spent together, to create this new galaxy. But now I wish to return to my civilian life, and entrust that the galaxy, under Emperor Kylo Ren's hands will continue to prosper. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you all, for the support you have given to me for the decade I was your Empress. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is Empress Kira Ren, signing off. May the Force be with you always.</em>
</p><p>She gives a small smile, before her holo winks out and he gives out a raggled breath, and fumbles with the holo with a shaky hand, restarting it again, only calming down when her face appears before him again. His hand reaches to touch her cheek, and he growls in frustration when his finges slip past her holo and he throws the whole communicator to the wall, smashing it to bits and pieces. </p><p>"Ben."</p><p>Leia sighs as she steps inside Ben's room, where he has been for the past two days, everything was a mess, the wardrobe emptied, the curtains ripped from the windows, the vanity turned inside out. </p><p>Ben went on a rampage, trying to find a clue where his wife was. </p><p>All he had was an encrypted message, transmitted to his father. </p><p>
  <em>Arrived. Safe. Please don't try to find me.</em>
</p><p>His officers traced it back to Corellia, and he knows his wife had jammed the transmission. Pinged it off different satellites to change the signature. </p><p>It would take a few days to decrypt it, and find the original source. </p><p>That information caused Han his entire living room entertainment unit, as Ben took his lightsaber and slashed at the comms to bits. </p><p>"Has she contacted you again?"</p><p>Leia shakes her head and Ben merely kicks out the holopod remaining, causing it to fizzle and smoke. </p><p>"Benjamin Bail."</p><p>"You let my wife go. You should have stopped her, and kept her here. Anything could happen to her out there. ANYTHING. She's closed off from the Force, she has no guard, we have no idea where the kriff she is. You let my wife go."</p><p>His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair unkempt, he hasn't been to the fresher in days. And Leia's eyes harden. </p><p>"Do you think if you self destruct like this your wife will return to you? You were hugging another woman-"</p><p>"I was telling a friend goodbye!"</p><p>"And you let your wife go before saying you loved her-"</p><p>"I was involved with another woman at the time, I wanted to fix everything! I thought she'd be right here. She was supposed to be right here."</p><p>And Ben's lips quivers, and his eyes fill with tears and he finally breaks down, kneeling at the floor and hugging at Leia's legs and her heart breaks for her son. </p><p>"Ben... you won't find her like this. Maybe you just... need to give Rey some time. She will come back... you have to eat. Then sleep. You haven't... Ben it's been three standard days. This cannot be good for you."</p><p>His communicator pings and he grapples for it, ignoring the tears still streaming down his face.</p><p>"Rey?"</p><p>He says with hope, only to be crushed when Hux appears, face equally tired and gaunt. He does a double take when he sees Ben's wild and crazed form. </p><p>"Ben... Ben seriously-"</p><p>"Where is she?"</p><p>Hux sighs. And rubs at his face. </p><p>"We can't break her code."</p><p>"What do you mean you can't break her kriffing code-"</p><p>His anger surges again and Hux merely glares at him. </p><p>"Your wife was the Commander of the First Order. She knows how to fucking encrypt something and she's basically made it fool proof. We can't track the signal of her message."</p><p>"Well then keep trying!"</p><p>He spits out at Hux who only glares at him. "We are. But you keep threatening the coders... Ben, you have to keep it together."</p><p>"Useless. Useless all of you! I'll find my wife myself!"</p><p>"Ben listen to me- Ben!"</p><p>But he throws his communicator to the wall, joining the assortment of broken electronics that littered his floor and Leia can only sigh. </p><p>---</p><p>He takes to meditating, wildly pounding on her end of the bond, trying to connect with her and be with her. </p><p>He feels a hand against his shoulder and he growls at it, almost hurling the person away when he sees it was his uncle. </p><p>"Kid. You have to eat something."</p><p>It's been seven days, and he still can't trace his wife. </p><p>He was this close to putting a bounty on her head, just to have more people look for her. </p><p>Armitage still cannot decode her transmission, and he had meetings, several already waylaid - handled by his mother who momentarily went out of retirement while he was indisposed. </p><p>He couldn't care less about the fucking galaxy. It could burn for all he cared. He just wanted his wife back. </p><p>"She closed off her Force bond. I need to find a way to connect to her-"</p><p>"Ben, if she's closed herself off from the Force there is no way-"</p><p>"THERE HAS TO BE! She can't just shut me off, she can't- I will find her."</p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>But he refuses to listen. Returning to his meditation once more. </p><p>---</p><p>It's day ten. And he crawls into his father's office, desperate for anything. </p><p>"Dad."</p><p>His father looks up at the papers he was frowning at, and sighs when Ben comes in. </p><p>"Kid. You have to sleep. You have to eat. You look like a bantha shat on you then stepped on you and left you in a ditch."</p><p>"Has she contacted you?"</p><p>"Ben. I would have told you."</p><p>"Dad, I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to do... what if I never find her again?"</p><p>Han sighs, and pulls out his stash of Porg Jerky from Chewie and passes it to him. </p><p>"Sit. Eat this. When your mother and I were courting... she wasn't very fond of me. She called me a nerfherder or something to that effect." Han smiles at the memory of his wife, munching on Porg. </p><p>"When I met her I wasn't too keen on her either. I just... lost my first love to the Crimson Dawn and I never imagined I would love anyone other than her. And your mom... well your mom was more partial to your Uncle Luke then, they didn't know..."</p><p>Han winces and so does Ben, not wanting the reminder that his mom and Uncle Luke... no. Just no. </p><p>"Anyway-" Han said quickly changing the topic. "I wasn't really nice to your mom at first. I was still thinking of Qi'ra. Wondering if I should have returned to her, helped her. But... in the end I realize you have many kinds of love in the world, never the same love twice, yes, but you will have the next love. And the next love will be greater. Right. As soon as I realized that, I did everything I can. I never wanted to let your mother go. I had to kidnap her to get her to marry me. Tracked her halfway across the galaxy. I almost went mad. Solo men. Your mother would say. I guess I passed that on to you."</p><p>Han swallows his bite of Porg and pats his son's hand. "Maybe you just have to try a bit harder for your wife."</p><p>"If I want to kidnap my wife, I have to know where she is first."</p><p>"Ben, that's the thing... you and Rey, I know you share some form of... Force voodoo. Maybe... maybe you've been using the wrong... channels?"</p><p>---</p><p>Of course, Ben thinks, as he remembers that day, when he was drunk and out of his mind, and the Force connected him to his wife. </p><p>When he needed her the most. </p><p>When he was at his lowest. </p><p>All he had to do was reach...</p><p>
  <em>Rey. Be with me.</em>
</p><p><em>Be with me, please.</em> </p><p>He opens his eyes, and there, across from him, was his wife.</p><p>She was asleep, she looked thin, and pale. There were bruises under her eyes. She wore a gray tunic, similar to the one she wore when they first met, and his heart is fill to bursting. </p><p>"Rey."</p><p>He reaches out to her, to touch her hair, when she startles, awake and then her lightsaber is lit in her hands. </p><p>"Who are yo- BEN?"</p><p>She lowers her saber as it falls with a clatter to the floor as she scoots away from him. </p><p>"Sweetheart, where are you?"</p><p>"How are you... I disconnected myself-"</p><p>"You don't need to be connected to the Force to be connected to me."</p><p>The Force fortifies their connection, yes, but there was something else, something stronger and more ancient than just a Force bond. It's as if they were two, that are one. </p><p>He was in her, as much as she was in him. </p><p>She looks at him for a second, her eyes soft and she says his name again. "Ben..."</p><p>And his heart was full to bursting and he reaches for her when she remembers herself and stands up, igniting her saber again and pointing it at him. </p><p>"Get away from me you... you... ADULTEROUS SNAKE!"</p><p>"Rey, sweetheart, let me explain-"</p><p>"NO!" </p><p>He narrowly misses losing an arm as she swings her saber around to him, and he dogdes, eye widening. "You can't be serious."</p><p>His wife's eyes narrow as she tries to maim him again and he ducks, and she sliced clean through the wall behind him. </p><p>"Oh I am so serious Ben Solo! LEAVE! I don't want to see your face!"</p><p>She attacks him again that he's forced to call his own lightsaber to block her attacks. </p><p>"Sweetheart, listen to me, I didn't-"</p><p>"SHUT UP!"</p><p>"Gwen and I-"</p><p>"NO!"</p><p>She pushes him hard, with the Force. The Kyber crystal he gifted her on her birthday shattering around her wrist, releasing her force cancellation. </p><p>And suddenly her muted emotions flow through him like an avalanche. </p><p>Her heartache, her memories of seeing him and Gwen hugging in that holo, her missing him acutely, everyday. </p><p>And her love for him. </p><p>He smiles when he feels it, but her eyes only water, and her lips quiver and she releases the pressure of her saber on his. </p><p>"Leave me alone Ben!"</p><p>And she uses every bit of the Force to shut him off.</p><p>He gasps at the sensation but he laughs. </p><p>Because even though she winked out, he can feel her, across time, across space, across galaxies. </p><p>He finally knows where to go. </p><p>---</p><p>Maz's Castle in Takodana looks exactly the same as it did in his youth. </p><p>He should have known. He should have thought of it. Maz was the first person to meet Rey after she escaped from Starkiller Base, after killing Snoke. </p><p>This was where she met Finn and his Uncle. </p><p>This was the place that led her to him. </p><p>He spies her, on the bar, mixing drinks with Maz. He understands why no one recognized her. Without her crown, her face slathered in the white make up, red dots and black lip that she wore as Empress Ren, his wife looks like every other young scavenger there is on the galaxy. And with him in his father's old smuggling clothes, his hair in Alderaanian braids, no one would recognize him as the emperor ever again. </p><p>She serves up three ales in mugs and smiles at the tip her avid admirer, a T'wilek scavenger sends her way, and he feels the faint buzz of irritation. </p><p>He waits for her to sense him, which now with all of his emotions rioting within him, took only a matter of half a second before her eyes were swivelling to where he stood, in front of her, mouth dropping in shock. </p><p>"Sweetheart, you're a hard woman to find."</p><p>She swallows, then she opens her mouth to say something but ends up opening and closing her mouth before and he can feel her softening, and he almost smiles and he almost reaches to touch her, but her eyes narrow into slits, and a flash of him and Gwen hugging is forced into his mind before his wife pulls out her lightsaber from underneath the bar and swings it madly at him. </p><p>"And you're hard to get rid of."</p><p>He ducks as she activates the opposite end of her saber, causing other patrons to cower under their tables in fear. </p><p>He raises his hands in supplication as she advances on him. Is it weird? That he was so aroused right now by his angry wife, who was determined to maim him, if not end his miserable life? </p><p>Gods he wanted to his her angry snarling mouth, and he lets himself have a fill of her, because her at last, after seven days of constantly worrying if he'll ever see her again, here at last was his wife. </p><p>And she was glorious and beautiful and missed. And he wanted to touch her-</p><p>"Ow!"</p><p>He groans as she stings him with her saber. </p><p>Not hard enough to break skin, but it does burn a hole in the dark sweater he was wearing. </p><p>She moves to strike him again and he has no choice but to lift his own saber in defense. </p><p>"Rey. Seriously, can we talk about this?"</p><p>"YOU. BROUGHT. YOUR. MISTRESS. TO. MY. ROOM." </p><p>Each strike of her saber sang against his arm and her anger was palpable. Several heads were turned on them now. </p><p>If they haven't suspected before who they were, their distinctive twin red sabers gave it all away. </p><p>"I didn't! Okay, she was there, but she's not my mistress!"</p><p>She growls at him and moves to sweep him off his feet and he barely has time to counter her parry and their lightsabers burn a hole into the ground. </p><p>"Get. Out."</p><p>"Rey. Rey, I missed you."</p><p>He tries smiling at her, because even though she was here, snarling at him, he was so happy to see her. </p><p>"You... you... nerfherder!"</p><p>She flings his saber point and makes to strike him again when Maz appears and stands on the bar and screams at her. </p><p>"REY SOLO!"</p><p>Rey stiffens and scowls at him angrily before turning to Maz. </p><p>"We don't serve assholes in this pub do we Maz."</p><p>Maz turns from her, to Ben, who was panting and staring lustily after his wife, now that she turned from him, he can appreciate the way her gray leggings hugged her derriere. </p><p>"Benjamin Bail... take your wife and don't come back until you fix this! Stop scaring my customers!"</p><p>"But Maz-"</p><p>"Rey, don't make me hit you! Go with your husband!"</p><p>Rey scowls before stalking behind the bar, stomping down to the wine cellar. </p><p>He meekly follows her, but not before Maz reaches out to grab one of his ears under his hair and twists. </p><p>"If you make that girl cry one more time-"</p><p>"I won't Maz." He says, though his ear burns and really it was so embarassing to have this tiny old orange woman twist your ears after your wife tried to kill you and you were emperor of the known galaxy. </p><p>Maz looks in his eyes, and pleased at what she finds there, before patting his back. "Remember young Solo, the belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead."</p><p>Ben's eyes softens, as he hears his wife create a ruckus downstairs. </p><p>"I wish I listened, when you said that at my wedding."</p><p>Maz laughed and patted the ear she just twisted. "You're listening now."</p><p>---</p><p>"Rey."</p><p>She ignores him as she hefts a crate of wine with the Force, taking her datapad and recording the amount in the crate. </p><p>"I ended it with Gwen."</p><p>She stiffens, stills, but still does not turn to him. </p><p>Instead she shakes her head and continues to the next crate. </p><p>"When the holo-net caught us, I was showing her your garden. I was telling her I couldn't be with her. Because I already had a wife, I already had a life with my wife, and we built so many great things together."</p><p>She still ignores him, and continues recording wine and stacking crates. </p><p>"I told her I couldn't be with her because I didn't love her."</p><p>At that Rey stills. And he feels it, through their bond. </p><p>"Sweetheart, don't cry."</p><p>And then he goes to her, wraps his arms from behind her, and buries his face on the nape of her neck, and her breath hitches and she starts sobbing anew, her hands gripping his. </p><p>"I've been a monster, a cur, a... an... adulterous snake. All of that. I've been so blind. So stupid. I should have seen it, known it. Rey. My, Rey."</p><p>He presses kisses to the side of her neck, up her ear, and he coaxes her to slowly, slowly turn around. </p><p>He kisses her forehead, her tearing eyes, and down her nose. </p><p>He kisses the arches of her cheek, then the other. </p><p>Then he presses his forehead into hers. </p><p>"Rey. I love you."</p><p>He watches as more tears spill from her eyes and he mutters is despair. </p><p>"No... please don't cry sweetheart. I'm sorry, I should have known, I should have realized sooner. I'm sorry I was so late. But Rey, I love you, with all I am, all that is good and pure, and even the parts of me I want to hide. All of me loves you, and I miss you, and I have been crazy without you and I cannot live without you, so please, please, forgive me. Please." </p><p>He nuzzles her nose, reaching forward to kiss her, but she was already shaking her head and moving away. </p><p>"You had four days."</p><p>His heart dropped to his stomach. Oh no, what if he was too late, what if she won't accept him now. </p><p>"You had four days to come to me. That day, when I said I love you... you could have told me."</p><p>Love you. Not loved. </p><p>He smiles. He smiles so beatifically that Rey stops and wonders at him as he scoops her back into his arms and nuzzles her. </p><p>"Ben-"</p><p>"You said you love me."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Love me. Not loved. You still love me."</p><p>She blushes at the slip and slips her hands in between them pushing him away but he was relentless, tightening his arms around her. </p><p>"Benjamin Bail-"</p><p>"You love me.</p><p>Her eyes water again and she sighs giving in, resting her own forehead against his. </p><p>"I do. I do Ben... but... it's too late. You're too late."</p><p>She slips from his arms and goes to return to Maz's bar and for a second he feels all hope is gone and lost, and he remembers his father. </p><p>
  <em>I had to chase her down half the galaxy.</em>
</p><p>Solo men, he thinks. Gifted with the ability to fuck it all up. </p><p>But Solo men also fix it when they do. </p><p>A smile forms on his face, a plan half formed in his mind.</p><p>---</p><p>He appears bright and early the next day, a bouquet of her favorite Kira flowers at hand, delivered personally by Hux.</p><p>Rey sees them, and brightens at the sight of Hux, running into his arms and holding him close. Ben was almost envious. </p><p>"Empress Ren."</p><p>"General Hux."</p><p>"I would have you know that your code has sent the entire militia in a mad scramble."</p><p>She laughs proud of herself. </p><p>"I'm still the best at that, I presume."</p><p>"You have to teach the coders how you did it when you get back."</p><p>The reminder that she had a palace and a title and a husband puts a dimmer in her mood, and she shakes her head at Hux. "I... it's good to see you Armie."</p><p>She turns to move but Ben grabs her wrist. </p><p>She flicks it away, annoyance on her face. "Don't touch me."</p><p>Ben swallows and shoves the flowers at her. "Please. Take them. I took care of them, while you were away... they need you. I need you. My Kira." </p><p>He presses a quick kiss to her forehead before she can protest and she shoves him away. </p><p>"Rey..."</p><p>She huffs and grabs the flowers from him, holding them close to her. "I grew these flowers. It doesn't count as a gift from you."</p><p>He brightens and nods eagerly like a puppy and she shoves away returning to her work at the bar. </p><p>Armie whistles beside him and pats his back. "You have a ways to go, friend."</p><p>He spends the rest of the day, sitting at the bar, watching her work behind the bar, delighting at everytime she smiles softly at the Kira flowers on her bar counter.</p><p>---</p><p>"You're-"</p><p>He scowls. In the three days he had been here, trying to woo his wife, the galaxy already heard the news that their emperor and empress are in the middle of a marital spiff. The galaxy was divided between people who supported his endeavors, and people who thought the empress should dump him. </p><p>Crime was at an all time low. Even spice smugglers, apparently, are more invested in how the emperor and the empress will end up during this time. It was like the galaxy never saw a holo-vid before and he and his wife were not hot commodity. </p><p>"The emperor, yes. And yes, my wife hates me." He grumbles darkly. Rey hasn't so much as looked at his offerings today - her favorite Jogan fruit. </p><p>The smuggler across from him laughs and pats his back. "I was gonna say you're Han's kid." </p><p>He looks up and notices that this smuggler was human. And ancient. </p><p>"You know my dad?"</p><p>"Of him. Most famous smuggler there ever was. And we help our own, don't we. Listen kid, flowers ain't gonna cut it with your girl."</p><p>Ben sighs. </p><p>"What did you have in mind?"</p><p>---</p><p>He stands on a bar table and Rey's eyes were wide and her hands frozen in the act of wiping a glass. </p><p>"You're just too good to be true..."</p><p>His voice feels croaky, and was that his knees shaking?</p><p>"Oh Maker, this is bad. Can't take my eyes off of you."</p><p>He sings and sweats through the song and by the end there was mirth in Rey's eyes. </p><p>At the end of the night, he waits as she wipes down the bar, and when she makes to go up to her rooms and he to his ship, she calls him. </p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>He doubles back so fast he was surprised he didn't get whiplash. </p><p>"I have water, in my fresher." She blushes, as she stands on the edge of the stairs. </p><p>"You can use it if you want."</p><p>He almost swallows his tongue but he can only nod, and nod, and nod as he follows her up the stairs. </p><p>---</p><p>The feel of the water was heavenly against his skin even though he had to crank it to the coldest setting so his arousal would calm down. He was here to woo his wife, not dick her down, but said wife apparently had different ideas because her breasts pressed into his back and her hands were grasping at the dick he was telling to calm down and her lips were on his back. </p><p>"Tell me again."</p><p>He turns swiftly, picking her up bodily, wrapping her legs around his waist and pressing her to the fresher wall. </p><p>"I love you." He says, looking dead straight into her eyes. </p><p>"I love you for a long time now, I can't really say when. But I love you when you told me in Varykino that my sky was not falling, and that I was not alone. I love you when you smiled at our coronation, at your new name. I love you when you helped me with my mother and the hospital. I love you when we eat dinner in that tiny excuse of a table in our office. I love you everytime you kiss me good morning. I love you when you would send quips in my head during boring meetings. I love you, everyday. And I love you more and more, as time passes by. I don't know when I started. But I can say I never wish to end, can never wish to end. I've been a fool, a big one, a great one, and I would like the chance to make it up to you for the rest of this life, and the next life, and the next. Because Rey? I love you. I really, really love you. And I hope you still love me too."</p><p>Rey's eyes fill with tears again and Ben panics but she smiles, that beautiful big Rey smile. And she lays her head against his. </p><p>"Of course I love you Ben. Of course I do. I just needed... I wanted to be sure."</p><p>"That what?"</p><p>"That you love me for me, and not because you need me."</p><p>"And what finally convinced you?"</p><p>"I think you'd rather go to war than sing in public ever again."</p><p>He guffaws and finally, finally leans forward to kiss his most beloved wife. </p><p>"Sweetheart, I would rather go to war than lose you for one second ever again."</p><p>Rey melts at that, and rewards him by angling her hips so he can slip inside her. </p><p>And nothing felt more right, than the here and the now, making love with his wife. </p><p>After, when they were in bed, damp and tangled together, he leans back from her, and cups his cheek with his hands. "I love you, Rey Solo."</p><p>She smiles, she hasn't stopped since, and she leans forward to nuzzle his nose. </p><p>"And I love you, Ben Solo."</p><p>And all was right in the world. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AND WE MADE IT! This fic was a manic fever dream that I needed to get down on paper, an image of love overlooked, lost and regained. And I hope you guys enjoyed it! We have an epilogue left, but mostly, my heart is exorcised, and my fingers are cramped but I needed to get this story out and I thank you all for joining me, I read all your comments and they made me smile with joy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Happily Ever After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Twelfth Anniversary of Ben Solo's Wedding With His Most Beloved Wife, Love of His Life, Kira Flower of His Heart Rey Solo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hologram Video</em>
</p><p><em>@mazcastle_takodana </em>Exclusive video of Emperor Kylo Ren singing at Maz's. Visit us in Takodana for a limited promotion on Blue Milk!</p><p>@resistance_is_forever IS THAT EMPEROR REN? SINGING? IN A CANTINA</p><p>@emperorrensabs OH MY GOD THE EMPEROR IS SINGING? TO THE EMPRESS. THAT'S HER SMIRKING!</p><p>@kirarenislife Well he should! She must have been so hurt when he brought Captain Phasma into the palace. I still stan my queen who almost maimed her husband with her lightsaber. Long Live Empress Ren, long may she reign!</p><p>@imperial.ren The Imperial Palace of Empress Kylo Ren and Empress Kira Ren kindly request the perpetrator of this video to take it down from the hologram, effective immediately as it violates Imperial Legislation 75 Order 378 otherwise known as the Privacy Act. </p><p><em>@mazcastle_takodana</em> @imperial.ren Give it up Ben. Your singing debut is now a galactic sensation. </p><p>Ben growls as he is yet assaulted with another edit of him singing on top of that table in Takodana. </p><p>It has made him a less formidable emperor. Just the other day General Ackbar had the gall to ask him if he thought the proposal was just too good to be true that's why he can't sign off on it for fear of taking his eyes off of it. </p><p>It took everything he had to not choke the chuckling old man in that war council. </p><p>Beside him, his very naked wife siddles up to wrap her arms around him, pressing her delectable breasts to his back and running kisses from his shoulder to his nape. </p><p>"I happened to think you have a wonderful voice."</p><p>She nips at his jaw and he glowers at her. "This is all your fault, sweetheart. I can't even scare my war council into action anymore."</p><p>She grins at him, naughtily and her hand snakes from his waist, to where he was already half hard under the blanket. </p><p>"And I am so sorry, my dear husband. Tell me, however should I make up for it?"</p><p>It also doesn't help that these days the Emperor runs at least ten minutes late. To everything. </p><p>And he's also perpetually mussed.</p><p>Or red lip stained. </p><p>Or both. </p><p>He also has this glassy goofy look on his face. </p><p>And surprise of all surprises - the Emperor Ren has been smiling. A lot. </p><p>People thought he had Bantha Fever when he did it for the first time on television. </p><p>It got sappy to the point that he and the empress now have a fanclub. </p><p>The Kiralos were a formidable bunch. Hux legitimately thinks that if anyone should so threaten the empire, these group of people will singlehandedly squash the insurgent group, planet killing weaponry or not. </p><p>It was to her great amusement, and her husband's great embarassment. Fiction has been written about that moment in Takodana, and their sex lives. </p><p>Well... Ben has gotten a lot of mileage out of that one. </p><p>Emperor and Empress they may be, she was raised in a ship, trained to be a Knight of Ren. </p><p>He was on the run with his father in the Falcon. </p><p>They didn't necessarily have the best sex education. </p><p>And the fiction were... eye opening at best. </p><p>She blames them for the current condition she finds herself in. </p><p>Ben catches her hand before she can grasp him and he loses all semblance of thought. </p><p>"I can't be late today sweetheart. It's parliament."</p><p>He's almost whining and Rey grins. He knew if she really wanted she can keep him trapped in this bed, and make him so late for the parliament plenary. </p><p>But she decides to take pity on him, seeing as she has to be there too. </p><p>"I'll let you off, this time. I want to be in parliament too."</p><p>He freezes and looks down at her. </p><p>"Err... sweetheart, do you think..."</p><p>He looks down at her swollen belly, where her giant son nestled. </p><p>She swears he was sired in that dingy bathroom in Takodana but Ben refused to believe it for his own piece of mind. The dirty things he said in that bathroom - he thought, would not be where his son and heir was from. </p><p>She raised her eyebrow at Ben. </p><p>"You think I won't be able to handle parliament in my delicate condition?"</p><p>Ben quickly backtracks, now adept at recognizing a trap when it is laid out for him. "No of course not sweetheart, it's just... today's your due date and-"</p><p>"And I am showing no signs of labor. Besides, Dr. Kalonia mentioned I could be late, seeing as this is the first."</p><p>Of course, their son knows nothing of the fact that he could be late, and so while his mother was lobbying for fairer wages for the factories in Dantooine, her water breaks, on parliament floor, and as she looks up at her pale husband's face when she stopped in the middle of her speech sat in her throne, thankfully hiding the sudden pool of water under her, she was swept up in his arms and rushed to the med bay. </p><p>Of course, Kiralos had another field day with that. </p><p>The emperor's arms were so swole he can lift his heavily pregnant wife as if she weighed nothing. </p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Hologram Photo</em>
</p><p><em>@kiralostandarddaily</em> KRIFFING HELL! Have you seen Emperor Ren and his new accessory?</p><p><em>@kylosbaby</em> I thought that was a shield or something! I didn't know that's where the Nuggie was nestled. Our emperor is so adorable! I can't believe he wears his baby bjorn everywhere.</p><p><em>@kira_kylo_nuggie</em> AHHHHH! He brought the Little Nuggie to a Council! Training him already, I see. Hail to the Future Emperor Ren!</p><p><em>@iamthesenate</em> I don't know why you're all excited about this spawn. He has Palpatine blood in his veins and now he's to be emperor. What a joke. </p><p><em>@kira_kylo_nuggie</em> @iamthesenate I hope Emperor Ren finds out who you are. Then I get to cackle with glee as you get Force choked. </p><p>---</p><p>"I don't see why I have to send ten thousand troops to a far off midrim world to settle an insurgence, when it's clear that the abandoned AT-AT is being misappropriated! And you're telling me a Mandalorian helped stage the intervention? This is not a situation we want aggravated with warfare."</p><p>His minister for war was looking at him with eyebrows scrunched up. </p><p>"What is it General Ackbar." He breathes out in irritation. </p><p>"Sir. And I mean this with the utmost respect. But what the hell is <em>that</em>."</p><p>Ackbar gestures to his chest, where his son was settled, bouncing on his lap and eagerly taking in the people around him. He was drooling, a little, because it was teething season. And also why he was strapped on his father's chest, rather than in his nursery, because he's been screaming everyone a blue bloody murder and his mother had to go to Ajan Kloss for the day to see to her Empress duties with his mother.</p><p>He only calmed with Ben, who used the Force to soothe his inflammed gums, giving his nannies a sense of peace. </p><p>And he also felt so poorly for the little nugget. </p><p>"That is your future emperor General Ackbar and you would do well to remember it."</p><p>His minister only rolled his eyes. </p><p>"The war council is no place for infants, is this a joke to you, after all that singing you've gone soft-"</p><p>His son reached out to the General, babbling and drooling, little hands outstretched, and eyes narrowed in concentration. </p><p>Then a ripping sound was heard, as the General's pant button, a shiny, bejewelled and crusted buckle flew from his pants to the baby's hand where he grinned triumphantly and raised the shiny ornament to his father. </p><p>"Da! Da! Bwoooooo!"</p><p>He giggles to himself and proceeds to gnaw at the shiny new buckle and Ben had to swallow his laugh as the General's pants splayed open and revealed his bright neon green underpants with Ewok prints on it. </p><p>Ackbar flushed as red as a ripe Fuji from his wife's fruit garden and he splutters as he rises and quickly tries to close his pants. </p><p>"EMPEROR REN! This is unacceptable!"</p><p>Ben opened his mouth to retort but his son, sensing aggression towards his father, reached out again and slammed the same buckle he stole from the General's pants, into his head.</p><p>---</p><p>"You brought Ani to <em>war council?</em>"</p><p>Of course, his amusement with his son, which he rewarded with contraband blue milk ice cream that his uncle swore would help with the teething pain was met with fury from his wife, who was already steaming by the time her ship landed on their palace. </p><p>"He was teething! And crying so much. It broke my heart."</p><p>Ani was currently perched on his arms, asleep on his shoulders. His dark hair with the fluffy hair so much like his father's. </p><p>"See, sweetheart, poor thing is tired out from his day."</p><p>And Ben tries his one secret weapon, banking on Anakin's presence on his shoulder to fortify it if it didn't work. </p><p>He pouted. </p><p>At his wife. </p><p>And tried to make his eyes all.</p><p>Porg like. </p><p>And he knew it worked when his wife's face softened, before stiffening up again. </p><p>"Ben Solo you won't get your way everytime with those eyes."</p><p>But he would. He knew he would. </p><p>He smiles and kisses his wife, careful not to jostle their sleeping son. </p><p>"I guess this is a bad time to tell you, Ani knocked General Ackbar unconscious."</p><p>"He what?"</p><p>"After he pulled his pants down and revealed his Ewok printed underpants to the world."</p><p>"<em>He what?</em>"</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Hologram Video</em>
</p><p><em>@kira_sweetheart </em>GUUUUUYS! Emperor and Empress Ren took Nuggie out to the balcony for the wave on Life Day. YAAAS I AM ALIVE THIS IS GIVING ME LIFE. LOOK AT HIS HAIR! HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE EMPEROR REN! </p><p><em>@kiralostandarddaily </em>AHH ARE YOU SEEING THIS? HE WAVED! OUR LITTLE NUGGIE JUST WAVED! HELLO PRINCE ANAKIN! </p><p>@anikkinsofalderaan HE IS THE CUTEST! DID YOU SEE THAT LITTLE FLYING KISS? AND THE WAY EMPEROR REN ROARED WITH LAUGHTER. I CANNOT THEY ARE TOO CUTE. IT'S TOO PRECIOUS. </p><p>---</p><p>"Rey?"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"My parents are taking Ani for the night?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And that's what you're wearing out?"</p><p>His wife smiles, and drops the sheet she wrapped around herself to show bare naked skin underneath. </p><p>"Who said anything about going out?"</p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong>The First Date of Princess Brehanna Leia Solo of Alderaan</strong>
</p><p>"Sweetheart."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"He's a fifteen year old boy. And a boy you knew from when he was young."</p><p>"He's a Hux."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"I know what Hux's are like."</p><p>She smothers a laugh, knowing now is not the time to irritate her husband further. </p><p>"Breha is a smart girl, she'll know how to handle him."</p><p>"I know she is. My precious baby girl."</p><p>"I would be angry with you except you followed Ani all over the city with his first date."</p><p>"I wanted to be sure that girl didn't try anything with my innocent boy."</p><p>"Ben. That girl is also someone you knew from a young age."</p><p>"Master Thaddeus Hux, your Imperial Highnesses."</p><p>Ben rose to full height, donning his infamous Emperor cape as 3PO motions Teddy inside. </p><p>"Unc- Uncle Ben?"</p><p>"That's Emperor Ren to you, Thaddeus."</p><p>She sees Teddy pale a little and she holds back her laugh as her husband interrogates the poor child, as if he was a war criminal.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Hologram Photo</em>
</p><p>@imperial.ren From all of us here at the palace, happy Life Day galaxy! Photo taken by Her Imperial Highness Empress Kira Ren.</p><p>@kiralostandarddaily How in the world did this happen? Our nuggies are all grown! And the emperor and empress still look fine as hell!</p><p>@steponmekiraren I KNOW! She birthed four children and she still looks like that. I so much as look as a chicken nugget and I gain 400 pounds &lt;/3</p><p>@kylosabs Well... the empress does get an impressive work out ;) </p><p>@kiralostandarddaily @kylosabs I KNOW! Remember that video where the emperor had the empress pressed on some wall? HOT AF</p><p>@thirstyforkylo Well no wonder they had 4 kids. Empress is the queen of thirst. We stan. </p><p>@kiralostandarddaily OMG THE EMPRESS POSTED A KISSING PHOTO OF THEM THIS TIMELINE IS BLESSED.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WHOOO it is done, madness and all. Emperor and Empress live happily ever after - and so do their fangirls &lt;3<br/>THANK YOU FOR READING I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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